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Public Bathrooms vs. "Hold it"

WarrenG

Entry posted by WarrenG

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Anyone newly transitioning will nod a big "YUP" to me about this issue, and maybe some of you trans-vets out there too.

Public Bathrooms. The lou. The resty. The bowl of salvation, the think tank, the throne.

Call it what you will, but the issues remain the same.

Where the hell do we go?

I'm FTM. I DREAD the bathrooms. I will literally try to be as stealthy as humanly possible to sneak in the door, find a stall, and wait there until people leave before I rush out and wash my hands then run out of the bathroom like my head's on fire. I feel like I'm not supposed to be in there, and this notion is clearly shown by those around me.

I'm in that stage where I'm starting to look more male in what I wear and such, plus the help of compression shirts, yet I still look rather feminine in ways I cant control.

So just as its confusing for me to figure out which door to run through, I'm sure other people in the bathrooms are equally as puzzled as to if I'm in the wrong bathroom or not.

One instance, some time ago, I found myself face to face with a rather rude and angry mom in the womens bathroom, snapping and yelling at me that I should be ashamed of myself for going into a bathroom with little girls present. Clearly she thought me male and werent too pleased I were there.

Yet that were the only time that's happened. Otherwise, I have received the timeless glares and silence that will say a million and one things.

I only ventured into the men's bathroom once, in the run down building of a Subway Restaurant, and it terrified the hell out of me how filthy it was. True, it could have just been because it werent really the cleanest place on the planet to begin with, but for the sake of my slight Germ fears, I fled the room and went into the women's bathroom instead since no one were around anyway.

But I've not found the courage in myself yet to go into the men's bathroom full time. I'm not ready yet. I dont look the part yet. Men are just as cruel as women sometimes, and I fear that where the women are silent and cruel in their stares, the men would be even more taunting about it. But I dont know....

So what does a struggling FTM do? I avoid the womens bathrooms at all costs, because it puts me in an aweful funk after. But I cannot venture the men's bathroom yet either.

Do I hold it as long as I can until I get home to use the bathroom? But there's that whole health factor that dictates that my idea isnt really the greatest one.

It's puzzling and frustrating.

I'm sure you MTFs out there have had the same issues. Whats some of your experiences, good and bad? Let me know :P

Warren

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UsernameOptional

UsernameOptional

Posted

I've had my fair share of nervous smiles, glares, stares, frowns, and gasps of exasperation or indignation. I've endured the indiscernible twitterings of which I am the topic, obvious by the unapproving sideways glances in my direction.

I've watched some step back in horror as we meet in the doorway. It's clear in that fleeting moment that they believe one of us is entering or leaving the wrong place. I love those incidents... funnier than hell... :lol:

I came out of a multi-stall bathroom once (I was the only one in there at the time), only to find a woman waiting outside. She briefly made eye contact then breezed past me and into the bathroom as I cleared the doorway. Interaction between this woman, her companion and the wait staff indicated she was a regular, so she knew the bathroom had several stalls, and the main door did not have a lock on it. So I wondered, why was she waiting for me to come out of the bathroom before she went in?

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Quite often, the bathroom is the last stop before I walk out my door in hopes that I will not have to pee again before returning home. I look for single-use restrooms. If there are none, I note the times when the bathrooms appear to be less likely crammed with women, and I will go to a stall that is as far back as possible. Or I will go to a bathroom that is somewhat out of the way - the ones that no one wants to walk so far to.

When travelling alone... because my STP is "always ready," I usually just find an out of the way place to pull over, and water the grass.

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LovelyLisa

LovelyLisa

Posted

I live in Virginia, so I have to use either the shared bathrooms or the men's room. Needless to say, I don't hold it and get interesting looks from the guys.

So, the guys that I know would care less if there was someone that they thought was a woman in their bathroom. But a guy in women's clothing in the men's room using the urinal is a totally different story. I get looks, which is putting it mildly. No one has said anything (or done anything yet). They must think I have something to "back it up".

The funny thing is, in northern virginia it is very multicultural. So, usually when I am in the mens room, the guy is hispanic, indian, chinese. And the look I get is pure bewilderment and then anger. But what the hell am I supposed to do. Pee out front? Everyone acts like I'm the @sshole, when all I am doing is wearing a dress, trying to live my life. Anyways, I have many bathroom shots as momentos!

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WarrenG

WarrenG

Posted

So glad I'm not alone on this subject :P I've actually considered buying one of those "stand'n'relieve" things from walmart's camping section XD hope that's not weird of me lol

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