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I know how you feel, Lisa. I wonder if my designation is bi-gender. Like you, I can be accepting of my manhood, sometimes, but not always. I'm examining my own feelings the most I've ever tried. I've given up on pretending. On here, I will still use the transgender designation, because this is where I can act as a girl in the virtual world and hang out with others who do likewise. Just this year alone, I've stumbled upon terms I've never heard before, terms like "gender fluid" and "bi-gender." I'm still trying to figure out what applies to me. Of course, I'm expecting my Heavenly Father to shed light on these dark areas. Jesus is my number 1 therapist, and if he wants me to also use human intervention, he shall divinely appoint the person/people who will help.

I've been compulsively checking this site for messages, as well. I've been experiencing record obsession over transgender stuff. I know how you feel, Emma. In other news, I have an Iphone. I have a 6. I'm using it, right now, typing on a bluetooth keyboard. Horray for Apple working to make their products blind accessible.

Hi Lisa, I certainly know what you mean about ambivalence setting in and days when being transgender just seems like something I wish would just go away. I agree that we need to "just" be ourselves but that "just" word is huge. Emma

Hi Lisa, I sure have my crisis days too. Like a couple of weeks ago when I went to dinner with my wife and two other couples to a nice restaurant. The women were all so poised and beautiful. Just being themselves. I had fun with the friends but all along I was aware that I doubt I could ever be as natural as these women, which was depressing. I too wonder about regrets. These days I'm more comfortable with my being transgender and the regrets I think about are if I do nothing about it. I'm in good health and so forth but we never know for how long. I don't want to be one of those that wakes up one day and realizes she lost her chance to be herself. Emma