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Dear Lisa, Of course, you have not "put a lot" on me or anyone here. I felt what you wrote is very reasonable and understandable. I feel like I'm also new to this but here's my opinion. "Understanding" our trans-gender (intentional hyphen) is very personal. There is no objective test that I'm aware of. For whatever reason and that may not really matter, we don't feel "right." With the right therapists and support such as here and in groups we can explore ourselves further and figure it out. The unfortunate truth is that at bottom we have to be the ones to make our choices, such as where we are or need to be under the TG umbrella, living full or part time as a Transwoman, transition or not, etc. So, I think it's terrific that you had this epiphany. As hard as I know it can be to wrestle with these emotions and anxieties I am not sure there is another way. Maybe that's the bad news, if you will. The good news is that you have this awareness. You have reached out here and elsewhere. You are exploring yourself. You are courageously figuring out who you are. There is no wrong answer! That is a truth and a beauty that I think we must hold on to. However and wherever you go is perfect. I often wish I'd been born a girl and I still wish that. That said, though, I was not, and for me I'm thinking these days (and I may change!) that that's okay. If I can learn to be and accept myself for who I am, and depend less on what others think of me, maybe I'll be fine just the way I am. I do like pretty things and I know I'm much more emotional and feeling that stereotypical men. But that makes me, me. I'm not sure I made much sense here, but I hope so. Of courselves your journey may be much different than mine. I just wanted to show you that you are not alone. Be well, Lisa, and keep writing. Hugs, Emma

I never had any issues with anesthesia. Was under for about 5 to 6 hours. I've had major surgery before and did take naps on that one too several years ago now that I think about it. Everyday is better than the day before so I am thinking all should be well soon. The important thing here is they say six weeks for a full recovery.

I truly believe that both of you would greatly benefit from reading the following book. Enter the title into Amazon True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism--For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals I purchased a copy for work and during a meeting where I announced my transition I said that this book will be on my desk if anyone wanted answers and of course said feel free to chat with me too. Both have happened and from feedback the book helped many come to terms with my transition that were unsure.