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I watched I am Cait series 2 epsiode 1 last night, it's the first one that I've watched, it was shown on a TV channel called E, which I think is new to the UK. Anyway I had wanted to watch Caitlyn Jenner shows for quite a while but they were not shown in the UK until recently. The episode that I watched was some sort of road trip and seemed to centre around the grand canyon, she had a group of around 10 transgendered friends with her, but I just could not believe her attitude to hearing any political views other than her own. The debate seemed to spring up after one of the group read out news about transgendered people being stopped from using the correct toilets by republican politicians and religious people. Caitlyn seemed to think it was the correct thing to do !!!! She also slagged off democrat politicians too. Please keep her in the US, I really don't want her over here, even if she has placed trans issues in the public eye, not supporting going to the correct toilet is bad for all of us, and sends out a totally wrong message. US political party's seem to bear great similarities to ours, although admittedly not identical. In a similar fashion over here it's easy for those rich people (born with a silver spoon in their mouths or just good at ripping people off? - few have gotten rich by being hard working and fair at the same time) to vote for issues that benefit themselves, they've never been anything other than rich or lived on easy street's gravy train. It was our Labour party over here who gave UK LGBT people most all of our present rights, the conservative party have done very little for us other than same sex marriage in some churches where the vicar (or whatever equivalent devil dodger in some other branches of the church) isn't anti-everything other straight heterosexual partnerships. Anyway, I won't be watching Caitlyn Jenner again............... Cheers, Eve

When to my best friend's today, we went to the mall for coffee and shopping. Didn't get to far, we are walking thru Macy's and she says, I want to get my upper lip done. So while standing there are sale's person asked if I wanted to have her do a make-up session. I thought, what the heck so I said yes. I told her that I am not much for makeup but would consider her doing it but was very interested in my eye area. As she is going through each step I am being told what she is doing and after doing one eye shows me compared to the undone eye. Since it was day time my eye's were done for day time. Next she did my face and contoured my eye brows. You really can't see the great job performed on me, it's not loud, instead it bends in nicely. How much did I spend EEK, $140 for makeup and better brushes. Next morning update: One attempt at doing my eye's, got it the first time!!! Also added a picture of the various products and note that the products are only for my eye's, five products with instructions on paper underneath. Did not include the brushes. One of the most important things is the "DONT STRAY" which is foundation. Yesterday the woman put eye makeup on her arm then another spot with foundation followed by eye makeup (top right) an sprayed both with water. One ran while the other did not. The mascara is to dye for. All the colors I purchased are perfect for my complexion.

So Nikki was explaining binaurial tones to me, especially in the therapeutic uses in various diseases such as Parkinsons and so on, and that they are often used for relaxation and sleep aids. He's not really happy with my out there sleeping habits currently, and he's right, I'm needing the pills too often, and my brain is getting stuck in high gear. So I've been trying them for while, following the instructions, trying to relax, just the tones, the tones with a hypnosis induction, I WANTED this to work dammit...and...they totally don't work for me. I felt nothing, I wasn't sleepy, I wasn't any more relaxed than just trying to be, there was nothing. No changes. They do for him. And when we were discussing it he mentioned it was kinda close to hypnosis, and I did some research because this was treading something else... Nikki never really knows how the dots connect in my head until the reaction erupts... and it is kinda a similar effect on the brain. I'd actually been unable to be 'brain tricked' with some light party hypnosis games before...and now this failure of my brain to accept and enter the state...I'm having to come to terms that I might be one of those 3 in 10 people who can't be hypnotized, something about my brain won't do it. It led to a surprise breakdown. (for him, for me this was my first little steps into something I'd been thinking about for a decade) Nikki had no idea that was coming, and was really confused why I was crying because I can't be hypnotized. But it was the death of a dream that was important to me. I WANTED to go to hypnotherapy, not for my dismorphia or anything, but because the memories of my grandfather are fading. Not the life lessons, and that is important, but the DETAILS of them. I can still tell all the stories in great detail, but when I used to do that, I could smell the places, feel the sun or cold on my skin in my head, hear his voice, and that's all fading like an old photograph. Which is normal. But I had this wild hope that I could go to one of those hypnotherapists, and he could take me back to those days and refresh the DETAILS and FEELINGS behind the stories. Telling them over nad over sort of fixed them in my head like menomics, but it's not holding onto the little details. I don't remember what Assateague Island smells like anymore, although I spent two weeks on it every summer and those were the best weeks of my life. I don't remember the colors anymore, or the sounds. I would spend whatever money the therapist wanted for those memories back, to relive it even just for an hour in my head like I was there again. No room at this particular inn for Bree. I will probably go anyway, and I still sit in that chair and put my whole heart into following that voice and the instructions, but it will really hurt to fail. I didn't call attention to it to Nikki, but when we got robbed and they stole my video camera, they also stole the only tape in existence with my grandfathers voice on it. And now I can't remember it. Time steals things.