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Hi Thank you for the kind comments that were said after my first blog post. I am really looking forward to Friday as I am booked to have my first female hair style so hopefully this will help me along to finally being able to be my true self.

Hi My real name is Andrew but as I am transcending to female at the moment I am using the name Charlotte but may finally change this to a Disney Princess name or Female Nickelodeon character name as one of my hobbies is collecting Disney and Nickelodeon things. Changing my name is one of my first steps my journey to being the true me.

Hi all, Sunday is NY Pride, it will be my first as a physical woman!!! Last year I was presenting full-time, but no surgeries yet. The year before was more of a gender-bending year. I'll post pics - I'm marching with NYU, so I have the shirt they gave us - I altered it to make it a v-neck, I wanted cleavage 😛 Xoxo Chrissy

Day one of this new medication is going terribly so far. I feel so tired and groggy even though I slept 16 hours! I took the medication around 7:30, went to sleep at 8:30, and woke up around noon. This reminds me of my last medication which made me half asleep all day. This one is making me half asleep as well but it's more like 3/4 asleep considering I could sleep anytime, anywhere where as my last medication I could stay awake for about 3 hours after taking it. I also am having quite vivid dreams which wasn't very fun since I have a history of nightmares and night terrors. I read up on it and apparently this drowsiness should dissipate after about 2 weeks. I don't know if I can wait that long but I will. I don't want to stop it and have to see the psychiatrist again so soon and have her thinking I just want attention like she did yesterday. I'll probably lag on the blog for the next couple of days since this drowsiness is taking over me.

Yesterday I was once more sent to the psychiatrist for her thoughts on who I am and what medication would help my depression, anxiety, and autism. She also does not know I am trans since every session a guardian has to be present in case I am dangerous or if I lie about something.we discussed how my last medication made me basically a zombie, half asleep when awake and sleeping whenever I could, and how it increased my depression. She discussed either increasing the dosage or stopping it all together. She also discussed how she thought I was lying about the effects of the medication since I have been through 3 categories and none have helped. That shocked me since I've only been on four medications from her. Of course I'm not lying! I wanna get better as much as the next person! Anyway, that was all a hassle to get me to panic. I believe she wanted to see how it affected me which is plain ridiculous. I didn't really react externally, I remained stoic as always and stared at the floor. In the end, I got a new medication which I don't think it's necessary to say the name of. Another interesting thing has happened. As you should now from my previous posts, I am out at school and not at home. It's been easy so far, good for me. But now a new principal has been assigned and he is a friend of my parents. Hopefully, he never finds out since I look quite different from the last he saw me, new glasses, shorter hair, taller, skinnier. Plus the principals at my school hardly interact with specific students unless they get in trouble and I'm a goody two shoes so i shouldn't have to worry. The whole new principal fiasco is the only thing making me nervous for the new school year. I'm one of the odd children who enjoys school, not because seeing my friends, but because I get to learn and it gives me a routine. Being autistic a routine is very important. Sadly, I have several months until school starts again and between then and now I have a wedding where a dress is in order.

Therapy was interesting today. A couple sessions ago I told my therapist that I was trans yet it seems like nothing changed. She still calls me She/Her and uses my birthname no matter how many times I tell her. I've almost given up on it but I know I can't let it get the best of me. Some how that thought offers little comfort.

Hello there! I'm CT Flynn, a transgender male. I also have another interesting thing about me called Autism, I'm sure you've heard of it. Anyway, I made this blog to help myself cope with being stuck in the Closet surrounded by an extremely religious family and possibly my journey of coming out. I am currently in high school where I have many supportive friends but also many non-supportive people. Anyway, thanks for reading!

The last couple of weeks have been busy. I had a first meeting with a new gender therapist (Shannon), my eyebrows waxed by a stylist (Zed), and an evaluation with a very experienced voice coach (Sandy). I’ve also started drafting my transition plan that I’ll review with Shannon when we meet again in September – after I return from Alaska. I mentioned to Sandy (the voice coach) that I want to start low-dose HRT in September as a way to dip my toe in the water. She advised that I get some doctor recommendations from Shannon soon and set up an appointment (for September) as these doctors are so busy and the wait time could easily be a couple of months. She also asked about my plans to present in a more feminine way, perhaps full time, and how I planned to present at the Gender Odyssey conference in late August. I told her that I do not dress in public very often at all, that I wanted to allow time to grow my hair and have it styled, at least start on electrolysis, and to have made some progress with her on my voice. She kindly responded that there is a huge variety of people at Gender Odyssey – so I could wear anything and it would be okay. She also advised that voice therapy is much more effective when is presenting as a woman in public. It’s like learning French in school and travelling to France where one can actually speak it. Yesterday I emailed Shannon with Sandy’s feedback, asking if she would provide names for doctors to me even though I’ve only met Shannon once. I expected that although she might provide names that she would suggest that I wait to make an appointment until she and I had more meetings. Surprisingly and without any reservations she provided me with the names, and agreed with Shannon that I should make the appointment. I was a bit startled and afraid after receiving Shannon’s email. In our meeting a couple of weeks ago she told me that she - like other professionals are increasingly doing - follows the “informed consent model” where clients like me are provided the latitude to make up their own minds once we have been informed of the protocols, risks, etc. Her email was thus consistent with informed consent. And, let’s face it, I do want to take this step. I reflected on all this while driving north yesterday for a couple of hours. I decided that before Gender Odyssey I will return to Zed (the stylist at the salon where I had my eyebrows waxed) and have her style my hair. In two months I believe will have enough to at least present more androgynously. I do have some hair loss in front that I assume we’ll be able to deal with, with "product" such as hairspray. Also, I’ll attend Gender Odyssey in a more feminine style of dress. Why not? I have several comfortable and casual outfits. What’s the worst that could happen? Given the climate of trans inclusion and welcoming in the Seattle neighborhoods I’m frequenting I think the rewards are much higher than the risks. I’ll also present in this way at least to Shannon, Sandy, and the HRT staff/doctor. As I drove further it occurred to me that the difference between fear and exhilaration is subtle. I was (and am) feeling exhilarated about taking these steps. It doesn’t hurt that I received a cute pair of sporty/feminine flats that fit perfectly yesterday from Amazon. Oh, that, and I got my ears pierced yesterday! I also bought a couple of pairs of earrings that I look forward to wearing. But I still have doubts, fears, and uncertainties. My (ex) wife is planning to come to Seattle in mid-September for her HS class reunion and we’ve talked about getting together. But I am thinking that she will not want to see me when I tell her about my ear piercings, my hair styling, and maybe more. So what sustains me? First and foremost, I can’t deny my history. I owe it to myself to play this out. I am so fearful that if I do not that one day, perhaps at the end of my life, I’ll have regrets. Second, my (ex) wife is suffering a lot these days. We talked recently and I learned that she is sad, depressed, and lost since I drove away two months ago. She gave up so much while also supporting me so lovingly; I feel that I must follow through. Sure, I cannot take responsibility for her emotions and I try not to but I feel a need to honor her sacrifice and support. At this point all the steps I’m taking are either reversible or can be switched off at will, so that makes it easier. My hope and assumption is that as I take these steps that I will feel joy that confirms that I’m heading in the right direction, and that will help sustain me as I take further steps that are more permanent. I’m also comforted when I consider that Shannon, Sandy, and my friends, will be there for and with me all along the yellow brick road. Best wishes, Emma P.S. I’m reading “The Transgender Guidebook: Keys to a Successful Transition” by Anne Boedecker, PhD. It’s excellent, in the same class as Dara Hoffman-Fox’s “You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery”.

Hi everyone, Since I took another step in socializing today, I thought I'd post something about that topic generally. Before coming out and transitioning, I had identified as a gay man. As such, my social life was largely built around the "gay community." I hadn't thought too much about that initially, since coming out and transitioning are pretty time-consuming for a while, and it was generally easier to do that while staying within a familiar social environment. But I knew it was going to have to change - although I admit to having some thoughts in the past about seeing it being Lesbian could work for me, I knew it wasn't right (I was leaning that way because (1) I have a little bi-sexual tendency, and (2) I thought it would be easier to meet a woman who would accept me as a woman in a romantic relationship than a straight man). Anyway - since I would like to date at some point, and even be in a relationship, I knew that I was going to have to break out of the LGBTQ "bubble" that I was in, and I have taken some steps. It helped that I did have a couple of straight female friends. And then of course I started school so I started meeting new people, many of them straight. Then, for after-school relaxation I started going to a little jazz bar in the Village. Today I took an even bigger step - at least in my head - I had joined a new tennis league (I had already belonged to an LGBT tennis group), and today I had my first match with someone from that group. I'm in a women's division, so initially that's who I'm going to meet, but that's a good starting place. It made me a little anxious since she had no way of knowing that I'm transgender going in, and not knowing how she might react. Well, she didn't. There was absolutely no awkwardness, it was great - and it was a really good tennis match (we had to play all 3 sets, and we were going point for point most of the way). There are still temptations to reach back and cling to the social world that I knew - but I have to give up some of that (not all of it, I'm not just ditching all of my friends!) xoxo Chrissy

Went to pick up my regular prescriptions from the local pharmacy, the lady behind the counter called for the manager before handing over my prescriptions. He comes up and says, would you mind me changing our records to reflect your current gender? I said thought it was (and then thought back, sure enough I never did). I replied with "yes", done deal. He said, wow how times flies, I remember when you first started out and back then I didn't have a beard, look at me now lol. Then I went for an MRI (shoulder problem), yeek, they had me done as male, the person assisting me said I can see that is not true anymore and updated my records. All in the span of one week, here I slipped up and missed two local resources for over two years. So my point is, you may believe all your bases are covered when changing your gender but as I learned two were missed hence passing this along for others to consider "did I miss updating my gender someplace?"