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(L) We are still tossing around names. Deedee would be easy because it is her initials anyway, but if we had a girl in our family, we always said we would name her Joy. We just had our 2 boys, and that name, Joy, has always felt like it belonged in our family, and since we couldn't give it to one of our kids, this seems like an option. It is still under discussion

Hi to both of you, Communication is everything, especially now as Deedee is going through her transition as is L and the entire family. And going on the road besides, without knowing where you're going to relocate to? Wow, that's a lot. On April 17 of this year I also took off on the road, in a small Winebago RV, heading north from the Bay Area toward Alaska. I left behind my wife of >20 years, our house, and my friends. I also didn't know where I'd end up. I saw myself possibly crisscrossing the US for a couple of years. As it turned out I reconnected with two lesbian friends (who're married to each other) in Seattle, and that, combined with my decision that I must live in a place that is not only trans-tolerant but trans-welcoming, that's where I settled. I have plenty of stresses but also have a wonderful support network of my original friends, new ones, and professionals. I never knew how important such a support network is. But this isn't about me. I'm only writing about it to provide some context. L is remarkable that she's weathering this storm as well as she is. Name calling isn't okay - ever - from either of you. We all get angry and emotional; at times and that's just being human. My previous therapist advised that anger is a way of signaling "STOP" to the other. Maybe keep that in mind for the next time, that you both need to cool off a little. My wife and I were advised by therapists over the years that communication is so important. Unfortunately this is something that my wife just doesn't handle well. We both tried, and to this day we love each other so much still, but we were unable to stay together. I suggest a book to bring with you on your trip: "Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar" by Cheryl Strayed. Perhaps when you need to, read one of the stories aloud to the other, and talk about the feelings this brings up for you. I love Cheryl Strayed and her book helped my wife and I as we tried to bridge our communication gap. Put the kids to bed, snuggle up with hot chocolate, and love each other.

Hi DeeDee, Glad you found us! It is exciting to finally acknowledge and become our authentic selves, isn’t it? We are blessed to be living in this day and age when the tide is finally shifting toward tolerance, acceptance, and dare I say welcome of transgender people. You look terrific in your photos! Emma