amie

Permed Hair, Long Hair, Another new experience. Again, Mom always tried to limit how I presented myself. I realized as a looked around me there are men with long hair. Some men have hair down to their waste. As long as I still have hair on my head, I thought why can't I make use of my own hair and eliminate the problems with wigs. I have not cut my hair for one full year. My hair has made such progress I am literally afraid to go to the salon because I am not sure what style I want. I realized that it takes some time to grow hair. I want to appear feminine but a part of me is still concerned about other people judging me. My wife brought home a magazine of womans hair styles and I found the variety that women have very exciting. This year I discovered how much more I could do with longer hair, and I am learning to style it on my own. I have actually gone in public with a pony tail as a man and my kids haven't said anything negative about it. What I thought was going to be such a big deal is just being accepted as another one of those indepedent changes I have made in my life. I used to get my hair permed and it would always be too curly at first. I am now leaning more to a body wave and maybe even hair coloring as I get older and its fun to explore the options. I am learning ways that I can look more masculine if needed but still present feminine when desired. I have gone to a salon for my hair since I was 14 years old. I love being around all the woman and I feel comfortable there. However I have never talked about my true feelings with any of them. This next time I go in I wonder if I shouldn't let the stylist know that I really want that feminine look. Do you know if salons are typically accepting of transgender or could it cause me problems. Is there an easy way to communicate ones transgenderedness to the salon professional? Anyway I have thoroughly enjoyed playing with different hair styles at home and I recommend that anyone at least give it a try before shaving their heads.

When I first shaved my legs it was the neatest feeling in the world. I finally felt clean. I really felt special. My joy was cut short because I lived at home and would have to answer to my mother. She knew everything about me. It wasn't till 10 years later that I just told my wife I didn't want the hair and she was ok with that. The next step however was wondering what others thought of me especially at work. I used to fear being discovered, but now 20 years since the first time I shaved, I shave everything. I have killed the fear by realizing that I can do this and there is nothing wrong with it. If its ok for another human person it should be ok for me. A lot of my problems in life have come from my own lack of acceptance in this behavior in myself and others. Through this experience I have grown to accept other people who are different from me and be empathetic toward the everyday problems and struggles they have. I have now reached a point that I am performing my own electrolysis. I researched and built my own electrolysis unit at a very low cost and have completed upper lip area I chose the most difficult and most painful in order to get it out of the way. I am sure I will have some touch up now and then, but I am very excited. I am only doing galvanic electrolysis because it is the safest and yields the best permanent results. I am so excited, even though it is very painful and will seem to take forever, I will be relieved and happy to gid rid of the hair forever. I realize now that I should have done this years ago and I would be happier for it today. Having body hair or not does not mean you are a man or a woman. All of a sudden because someone chooses to remove their hair they get looked at as weird. Well I don't care if I am weird my personal sanity means more to me than what other people think.

As I entered into my middle age a little over a year ago I noticed that I had had more breast tissue than I ever had. I did a little research and found out that a lot of men go through some of these physical changes naturally. Since I always wanted breasts I embraced the changes that were naturally occuring and discovered a way to feel more feminine than ever before. There is information online about male lactation and male breast-feeding if you look for it. I tried various techniques of nipple stimulation for long periods of time both manual and using a breast pump. After regular intervals for about a week I was absolutely amazed at the results. Even though I did not produce milk as of yet I seemed to start a process in my body that caused changes in my nipples and breast similar to a woman who is pregnant. My wife confirmed with me a few weeks later that my nipples were taking on the characteristics necessary for lactation. Using a breast pump was not pleasant at first, but getting past the unpleasant stage brought comforting feelings that one has to experience to truly understand. After some time I could express some liquid from my nipples and it is fascinating. The reason I have started this blog is not to try to guarantee results but to mention something that has brougt me closer to being feminine naturally, without having to actually take a prescription. Pumping the breast made me sleepy and relaxed. Feelings of motherly love, especially when imagining a baby actually suckling from my breast. The feeling of let down even though the breasts are not yet fully ready for this. The very gradual but noticable increase in breast size from practically nothing to at least an A cupsize. Since I used these methods I feel more like a woman than ever and have accepted these physical changes rather than worry about them. Does anyone else have an experience like this to share? I have eaten a lot of carrots and cucumbers and chicken over the last 10 years since my wife has been more interested keeping us healthy I do not know if some of my diet has also contributed to an increase in my natural hormones or not. I have heard that some men and women can lactate from intense desire as well so I do not guarantee results this has just been my own personal observation. I am not concerned about a medical problem because the breasts are shaped uniformally and the nipples have increased in size and they have become darker pink in color.