amie

I had a lot of fun taking these photos the other day but I thought about how hard it is for most of you to take a decent picture that will actually flatter rather then distort who you are. I took more pictures than I actually posted because some just didn't look right. I especially started this blog because I feel so much better and fulfilled since I took a good picture of my self and took the time to select the best. These pictures are exactly the way I took them except for cropping and making the files smaller jpeg for the internet. Please feel free to ask me questions about tips on taking your own photos. I would be happy to help you accomplish whatever results you are after. I am excited about learning more about make-up and my next photos hopefully will cover more of my beard shadow. Some Basic Tips 1. Pick a neutral background as far aways from you as possible (this ads depth) 2. Use the same color temperature lighting all the way around 3. Halogen Lights are the best for back and rim lighting 4. Soft white light is best in front of the face. (do not mix fourescent lighting with other types or your face may end up different colors. lights should be placed at a 45' angle up and around left right front and rear like a box. 5. Do not use flash 6. Use manual adjustments and experiment until you get the look you want 7. shoot with a professional camera, lenses make a big difference 8. Don' be disappointed if things don't look right at first readjust light for most flattering look 9. Have more light behind you to flatter the edges of your clothing and hair 10. Supply soft even lighting to your face so as not to bring to much attention to what you don't want to see. 11. Use a tripod 12. Don't shoot through a mirror or glass 13. Take the time for yourself to get a good picture 14. Use a timer and a multi shutter camera can take a few shots in a second for various poses and expressions 15. shoot at highest resolution of your camera get a wider shot, you can always crop and zoom in later 16. Low angles and High angles have a significant affect on how the proportions of your entire body look. 17. Mirrors can be deceiving don't trust them. 18. Use the best lense possible. Getting a good picture is absolutely essential for people like us. A great picture can help lift our self-esteem where a bad picture can really ruin the whole experience. I feel so special now that I finally got a chance to be special. What are some of your experiences in picture taking? It isn't much fun taking your own pictures Is it? Are there many photographers who cater to transgender. I hope that someday I can provide my talents exclusively for transgendered and really focus on doing the best for a group of people that deserve it. Any thought? I am so excited about knowing that I would love to help others that feel as special as I did. Photo taking doesn't have to be expensive but good results do take time. Taking pictures of older people and especially transgendered is obviously challenging as we have so many more unwanted details we are trying to cover up. Love to have you as friends. Love to help you all. Thanks Amie I hope you enjoy looking through my gallery.

The act of sucking the nipples causes the body to produce its own chemicals that encourage milk production. Because of the rules of the site I did not want to give any specific prescription and I am not a doctor but after researching the topic on the internet and asking my wife who is a nurse about it she agreed that it all made sense. Breasts on a male have all the necessary components for producing milk. The act of stimulating the nipples for a prolonged time at regular intervals gives the whole process a start. Even if you don't get milk you will probobly feel the sensations as I did over time which was very interesting. I will say that for me I used a breast pump which is the only real consistent way of getting anything to happen outside of a real baby. Unless you know someone who wants to suck your nipples for that period of time. I first wanted to do this because we had a one year old who was breastfeeding and my wife got sick. Poor little girl had to be weened off cold turkey. I thought if I could have been ready if we ever have another child I wouldn't mind giving motherhood a chance and nurse the baby myself. This technique has a lot to do with attitude. If you aren't interested in this aspect of womanhood then it probobly will feel like a waste of time, but if you go in with the right attitude I hope you can experience the kind of loving tender feelings and warmth and femininity that filled my body. When I first tried it I pumped for about 20-30 minutes every 4 hours. Sometimes I fell asleep with the pump attached and it went for over an hour before I woke up. Besides those feelings the whole thing relaxed me to a point that I was able to experience a new type of orgasm with or even without ejaculation. I forced myself to be patient and allow the feelings to come gradually. I gradually became aware of new feeling in my body from the upper part of my body and deeper part of the pelvis that is often talked about with women. Maybe I have a good imagination, but I know there was something chemically going on in my head as well as the rest of my body. You have to focus on relaxing. A breastfeeding mother needs to actually focus and relax before letdown occurs. I have gained a whole new appreciation of what my wife has gone through with each of our children. Nursing Mothers should all be granted the quiet time they need to properly nurse their baby. The actual pump comes with suction cups and a power conrol that have hoses attached to provide the suction I had to come up with my own way of fastening them to keep them on at first, then my wife gave me a breastfeeding bra which helped hold the cups in place It was amazing, it hurt a little at first but the machine doesn't do any pinching, it is a gental sucking that similar to the real thing. Any book or website about breasfeeding will help you out. Breast pumps are usually available locally in baby section of store. At the risk of being considered out of my mind I learned so much I just had to share it on this site. To be safe I would definately suggest using a manufactured pump for this purpose not something homemade. Remember I am not a doctor, do this at your own risk. When used as any woman would use it, I have not heard of any real problems. What you experience will be up to you, I shared this because it really helped me understand and feel more like a woman than ever before and isn't that what this is all about. It is natural and ultimately natures way of giving a baby a second chance at survival if a woman is not around. I hope and trust that none of you will use this information inappropriately I truly hope this may help those of you so anxious to try hormones. This has given me a little breathing room and more patience to explore what I really want to do with my trans feelings.

:)Lovely words and sincere. When I was growing up I never understood why some people wanted to go to a sad movie to have a good cry. Now that I am older there has been more time between my chances for a good cry. It seems that crying is certainly natures way of relieving tension and I actually wish I could get better in touch with it again. Most tears reflect sadness and suffering but some people suffer without tears and a lot more physical anxiety. I hope you never see your softness as a weakness for being able to cry as a form of coping is certainly a strength. Thank you for you openness.

I have often thought of how my wife rarely gets to go out all dressed up like we dream of. On halloween one week my wife and I went out of state to a hotel were no one new me and she went shopping with me. It was quite the experience. I knew some people looked strange at me but I tried not to make eye contact. I enjoyed going through the shoe stores the most because it was one thing I normally wouldn't do while cross dressed. We also went to the rocky horror picture show together and that was a blast. I have discovered I simply have to wear womens clothes whether they are sexy or not. Therefore I have found clothes that aren't noticed as easily. They might not be sexy but they are still more comfortable than mens clothes, soft and luxurious (like underclothes). I seriously will not buy it if its not from the woman's department. Sometimes just that hint of feminine keeps me going. The sooner you can break through some of these barriers the sooner you will see that your internal fears are probobly worse than the reality. When is the last time you saw someone in public that looked different or questionable. If you have to have a reason for dressing a certain way it might help. Biking tights seem acceptable while biking, why would they suddenly not be ok if you were wearing them around the house. I wear tight stretch pants around the house often and my children have never questioned me, of course I usually wear a loose top or sweatshirt that comes past my waist enough to cover my but and crotch. I have also push the limits with shoes and my kids have not said a word, of course I have not pushed it all the way yet, so I truly understand your anxiety and wishful thinking. I hope more people can post info about sharing this part of ourselves with family and our children. If you can't be comfortable in your own home how can you be yourself anywhere. I would rather die than go back to wearing mens underwear, pants and shirts, and shoes. Ultimately It's my home and they will have to respect me as just being different, but I am not completely free yet either.

I did it! Two weeks ago my daughter and I went to the mall and we both got our ears pierced. I conquered another fear of being different and it was great. I now haver a shared experience with my wife and daughter that I will remember as a fun thing we did together. What I didn't know about pierced ears was how they have to stay in for about 6 weeks without taking them out. How many of you have taken this plunge? I got both ears pierced because I don't believe in any of the attached meanings about 1 or two or right or left ear. I got both done because I like things symetrical and it is what I really wanted. I inherited my mother's earings and she had a beautiful collection. Now all three of us can enjoy my mothers collection. I used to buy my mother earrings and always wished I could wear them, now I am one step closer to feeling prettier and more comfortable with who I am. The earrings are obvious and so I realize I may get some comments, however in two weeks so far not one person has said a thing (that I know of). Experiencing new things in life can really be exciting!

Permed Hair, Long Hair, Another new experience. Again, Mom always tried to limit how I presented myself. I realized as a looked around me there are men with long hair. Some men have hair down to their waste. As long as I still have hair on my head, I thought why can't I make use of my own hair and eliminate the problems with wigs. I have not cut my hair for one full year. My hair has made such progress I am literally afraid to go to the salon because I am not sure what style I want. I realized that it takes some time to grow hair. I want to appear feminine but a part of me is still concerned about other people judging me. My wife brought home a magazine of womans hair styles and I found the variety that women have very exciting. This year I discovered how much more I could do with longer hair, and I am learning to style it on my own. I have actually gone in public with a pony tail as a man and my kids haven't said anything negative about it. What I thought was going to be such a big deal is just being accepted as another one of those indepedent changes I have made in my life. I used to get my hair permed and it would always be too curly at first. I am now leaning more to a body wave and maybe even hair coloring as I get older and its fun to explore the options. I am learning ways that I can look more masculine if needed but still present feminine when desired. I have gone to a salon for my hair since I was 14 years old. I love being around all the woman and I feel comfortable there. However I have never talked about my true feelings with any of them. This next time I go in I wonder if I shouldn't let the stylist know that I really want that feminine look. Do you know if salons are typically accepting of transgender or could it cause me problems. Is there an easy way to communicate ones transgenderedness to the salon professional? Anyway I have thoroughly enjoyed playing with different hair styles at home and I recommend that anyone at least give it a try before shaving their heads.

When I first shaved my legs it was the neatest feeling in the world. I finally felt clean. I really felt special. My joy was cut short because I lived at home and would have to answer to my mother. She knew everything about me. It wasn't till 10 years later that I just told my wife I didn't want the hair and she was ok with that. The next step however was wondering what others thought of me especially at work. I used to fear being discovered, but now 20 years since the first time I shaved, I shave everything. I have killed the fear by realizing that I can do this and there is nothing wrong with it. If its ok for another human person it should be ok for me. A lot of my problems in life have come from my own lack of acceptance in this behavior in myself and others. Through this experience I have grown to accept other people who are different from me and be empathetic toward the everyday problems and struggles they have. I have now reached a point that I am performing my own electrolysis. I researched and built my own electrolysis unit at a very low cost and have completed upper lip area I chose the most difficult and most painful in order to get it out of the way. I am sure I will have some touch up now and then, but I am very excited. I am only doing galvanic electrolysis because it is the safest and yields the best permanent results. I am so excited, even though it is very painful and will seem to take forever, I will be relieved and happy to gid rid of the hair forever. I realize now that I should have done this years ago and I would be happier for it today. Having body hair or not does not mean you are a man or a woman. All of a sudden because someone chooses to remove their hair they get looked at as weird. Well I don't care if I am weird my personal sanity means more to me than what other people think.

As I entered into my middle age a little over a year ago I noticed that I had had more breast tissue than I ever had. I did a little research and found out that a lot of men go through some of these physical changes naturally. Since I always wanted breasts I embraced the changes that were naturally occuring and discovered a way to feel more feminine than ever before. There is information online about male lactation and male breast-feeding if you look for it. I tried various techniques of nipple stimulation for long periods of time both manual and using a breast pump. After regular intervals for about a week I was absolutely amazed at the results. Even though I did not produce milk as of yet I seemed to start a process in my body that caused changes in my nipples and breast similar to a woman who is pregnant. My wife confirmed with me a few weeks later that my nipples were taking on the characteristics necessary for lactation. Using a breast pump was not pleasant at first, but getting past the unpleasant stage brought comforting feelings that one has to experience to truly understand. After some time I could express some liquid from my nipples and it is fascinating. The reason I have started this blog is not to try to guarantee results but to mention something that has brougt me closer to being feminine naturally, without having to actually take a prescription. Pumping the breast made me sleepy and relaxed. Feelings of motherly love, especially when imagining a baby actually suckling from my breast. The feeling of let down even though the breasts are not yet fully ready for this. The very gradual but noticable increase in breast size from practically nothing to at least an A cupsize. Since I used these methods I feel more like a woman than ever and have accepted these physical changes rather than worry about them. Does anyone else have an experience like this to share? I have eaten a lot of carrots and cucumbers and chicken over the last 10 years since my wife has been more interested keeping us healthy I do not know if some of my diet has also contributed to an increase in my natural hormones or not. I have heard that some men and women can lactate from intense desire as well so I do not guarantee results this has just been my own personal observation. I am not concerned about a medical problem because the breasts are shaped uniformally and the nipples have increased in size and they have become darker pink in color.