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eveannessant

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  1. eveannessant
    I had weird dreams recently, but a theme from one of them has stuck in my head. It seems to me to be appropriate for most, it's "I will use my individual freedoms to my desired extent, without impinging on the freedoms of others", I think that this used to be called "good manners", but it's much more than just saying please and thank-you, and have a nice day too. It's more about how can I do what I want, and aid others too where I can.
    How much smoother the world would be if everyone adopted these thoughts. 
    Imagine you're on a busy motorway, would it not be easier to pull over to the nearside lane to allow others to pass at a greater speed, would it also be better if those travelling at a higher speed asked themselves if it was safe to travel faster in a given scenario, or how they might achieve a faster speed whilst not endangering others?
    I guess a more appropriate example here would be something like, how can I help others with what I have gone through, whilst recording my experience for my own sake, and at the same time doing what I want to do ( Transitioning, cross dressing, androgenuity? is that a word lol), or how do I transition and help others to understand me, or help them to adjust to me?
    I wonder if the Foriegn Departments of Governments have such thoughts before acting, or if they just think it's good for our country, don't worry about others?
    Cheers,
    Eve
  2. eveannessant
    I've been wondering just what to write about for almost two weeks now, life just seems to be so normal now, even though I'm doing things that I never used to do. My transitioning seems to have activated a bit of an activist streak in me, I joine LGBT Labour nearly a year ago just before presenting full time en femme. LGBT Labour is not part of the UK Labour Party, but supports and advises the Labour Party on LGBT issues, and policy contents. A couple of months ago I joined the Labour Party proper too, my wife was already a member. Last week we attended our Local Constituency Labour Party meeting, we had both feared that we wouldn't enjoy it, but much to our surprise we did and we found that there were others out there that shared our particular views. On Tuesday this week I went along to the West Midlands local office of my Union, the General, Municipal and Boilermakers Union (GMB), they had invited members along with friends and families to a film night, I took my close trans friend Sharon along with me. There was a very friendly welcome from all who attended and to our surprise there were snacks, beer, wine and soft drinks supplied by the Union.
    We settled watching the film called "Pride", for those of you who haven't seen this Brit film, it's set in the 1980's when our miners went out on a prolonged strike, and were opposed by the Thatcher led Tory (Conservative) Government, a group of lesbian and gay people in London, had the idea of supporting the miners and started collecting for them, they had to overcome the normal hostilities from the miners, toward non white straight people then prevalent in UK society. They eventully achieved this and long lasting friendships were made between a south Welsh mining village and the group of gays and lesbians from London. Eventually after the strike had ended the south Welsh miners turned out en-masse in support of the 1985 London Gay Pride event. Their union the National Union of Mineworkers (NUM), massively helped gay rights to be adopted by the Labour Party soon afterwards.
    So in the UK, LGBT rights can be traced back to the events shown in the film, and interestingly to me, when I first joined LGBT Labour I was told that it had evolved from being called Lesbians and Gays in Support of the Miners. The film ending was quite emotional, my friend cried and my eye watered - yes just the one! LoL. I am proud to be a member of LGBT Labour, and the next big challenge is to get full equality within same sex marriage, for trans people such as myself, who were (and remain) married when in their cis gender to a member of the opposite gender e.g. a man to a woman. Presently in the UK if I want to get a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC), which changes my birth certificate from male to female, I'd first have to divorce my wife and then re-marry once I have the GRC. An absolutely typical British legal system balls - up, straight out of an cormy old black and white Ealing comedy film.............If you don't push, shout and fight for something, you won't get it, that's history, and that's Pride!
    Anyway enough of my democratic socialist politics!, I'm off with my wife tomorrow for my Step-Son's graduation from Sheffield University, he's now a Master of Engineering with Honours (MENG (hons)), I now call him Meng the Merciless, which is how he behaved when fooling around and playing practical jokes, as he grew up, not that I was any saint either, but that's another story....................
    Cheers all,
    Eve
  3. eveannessant

    Sparkle

    By eveannessant,

    I mentioned in my last blog entry that my wife and I were going to attend the annual "Sparkle" event in Manchester, and we did on the 11th July. 
    There were all sorts from the totally convincing and beautiful, to the not so convincing just out for a bit of fun over the week-end. The event was held at Sackville Gardens, which is located opposite Manchesters Canal Street which is the heart of their Gay Quarter. There are numerous bars along tree lined Canal Street with outside patio seating next to the canal.
    The following photo's are of an amazing Manchester Police car, the emergency lights were all the colours of the rainbow! The police had their own stand at the event manned by L & G officers, showing just how inclusive Manchester society has become. The other photo's are of my wife, two of my best friends and myself enjoying a drink in a very nice pub called Molly's.
    I don't know why the photo's have displayed in reverse order ! 
    I hope that the rest of you TG members also had a good week-end..........................
    Cheers,
    Eve
     



  4. eveannessant
    This is really tiring, the temperature is above 30o celsius and there's hardly any wind not even a gentle breeze, that may be a walk in the park to those of you who live in hot countries, but here in the UK it's pretty stifling. Can't wait for cooler fresher Atlantic weather. 
    Anyway, it makes me realise how difficult it can be being a 'full time' trans woman, it's pretty near impossible to hide my broad shoulders, my scalp is soaking with sweat, make-up is pointless as sweat runs down my face, I have headaches, I can still hide my hips by wearing long floaty dresses, but without hiding my shoulders I wonder if the effort is worthwhile. However I'd point out that I never liked very hot temps even before transitioning, but I now feel at a disadvantage in this weather compared with my former identity. The only respite is in my car with the A/C turned fully on. Even if I could appear as male in this weather, which would be difficult, I wouldn't, it wouldn't be me, and I just have to accept that this is one of the few disadvantages that I have come across so far........................
    It's not as if I didn't see it coming, I just told myself that I'd have to try and cope with it when the time comes. Hell, I had to stop prevaricating, making excuses for inaction and naval gazing, and bite the bullet and get on with MY LIFE, as Eve ! Anyway my guess is that one acclimatises to different temperatures, trouble is that we don't generally have such high temps as this in the UK, 3-4 days worth is the norm folloewed by thunder storms and cooler weather, so there's not much of a chance to acclimatise.
    But having gone out this morning for electrolysis, I found that few people were out and about, traffic was very light, so it reminded me of a sleepy French village where nothing much stirs in the mid-day sun, which beats down relentlessly, only the noise of the starlings was missing.................if only I could go swimming in a river - no chance of that until post GRS at the soonest.
    Life with both female and male bits of anatomy was never going to as straightforward as might have been imagined, hot weather will bear testimony to this, wearing clothes that disguise anatomy most other times of the year might not be possible during hot weather, I hope that when my trans journey comes to a conclusion, some of these difficulties will have been resolved.
    But the point is please be aware of unusual climatic conditions, if you are contemplating transition.
    Week-end July 11th & 12th is Sparkle week-end. Sparkle is a huge 'Trans event' (rather than an LGBT pride event) held in Manchester, I'm off to see it for the first time with my wife who has organised the hotel and train tickets. Whilst I don't go to these sort of 'trans safe events' regularly anymore, never having been before I feel the need to have experienced it, before I submerge fully into 'normal society'. No doubt I'll put out a blog entry about the event after the 12th July.
    Cheers,
    Eve
     
     
     
  5. eveannessant
    Saturday 27th June was a nice day, after getting in the weekly supermarket shopping in the morning, I asked my wife what she wanted to do, as usual she said things that she thought I wanted to do, so I said no what do YOU want to do? She wanted to go to see the rose garden at Coughton Court, this about 10 miles or so from where we live in a little village called Kings Coughton. The Court is a National Trust site (sort of stately home and gardens open to the public and owned by the Trust), and it's main reason for fame is that co-conspirators of Guy Fawkes lived there centuries ago when they hatched the gunpowder plot to overthrow parliament.  
    It was quite a sunny and warm day so I dressed accordingly and took lots of photo's with my i-phone, my wife took one of my with my phone too, see below, anyway the place was very busy and at times children were told to move out of the ladies way, this made me feel good inside, it really lets me know that I do pass as female when out and about, however I have to be careful about what I wear to hide masculine shoulders and lack of hips, but the very lightweight coat is almost a cardigan, and so thankfully I didn't get too hot, and didn't get strange looks from people thinking why is she wearing a coat! Any way we finished the visit off with an ice cream (strawberry for me and salted caramel for my wife). we then returned home and rested before we had friends around for the evening.
    My friends are all trans, two of them (a couple) are post op and the other pre-op as am I, well we all had a great evening, I had cooked coq au vin which seemed to be enjoyed by all, I also introduced them to Aperol Sprtitzers (3 parts Prosecco, 2 parts Aperol, 1 part soda water with lots of Ice and a slice of orange), these were definately enjoyed along with all the rest of the drinks consumed into the small hours of the morning.
    Down side is that I am now feeling a little "empty headed" as I type this blog entry, but I look back at the week just passed and reflect on how happy I am with it, Monday at ChX GIC with the changes in my hormone treatments and Finasteride, Wednesday with my once every 12 weeks Decapeptyl injection, and yesterday's day out and an evening in with great friends.
    The photo's are me being dwarfed by a massive potted flower display outside the rear doors to Coughton Court, and me with one of my friends Louise in our kitchen.
    I hope that you all have happy times too, it'd be nice to hear of them.
    Cheers,
    Eve


  6. eveannessant
    I had a great day yesterday, I went to London (even the traffic was good!) to Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (ChX GIC) for an appointment with Dr Leighton Seal, he's their Endocrinologist. He really is one of the most helpful Doctors I've ever met, he seemed willing to arrange the best available treatments within medical guidlines, we talked about which oestrogen traetments were more efficient, epidermal patches or tablets, I was on patches due to previous liver concerns, which are now allayed. So I was given the choice and I elected for tablets after he said that they were the more efficient regime (like many women I also want my boobs to be larger LoL), he also doubled up my Finasteride dosage, so that I now don't have to halve the tablets anymore. The Decapeptyl injection regime that I'm on also, has really boosted the previous half tablet regime, my hair regrowth has dramatically increased since January, so I'm really hoping that the extra Finasteride will speed the re-growth further.
    I have found, contrary to some other girls and boys, that ChX GIC is a most helpful and friendly institution that really cares about it's patients (for want of a better term). I can only hope that it will always continue to exist, in a quite destructive right wing governmental environment where more and more public services are privatised.
    So I came away as a very happy girl.........................
    Cheers,
    Eve
  7. eveannessant

    The Ardennes

    By eveannessant,

    Hi,
    In an earlier entry I said that I was going to let you know how I got on in the Ardennes (southern Belgium and northern Luembourg), well we travelled in our Land Rover Freelander towing our caravan, started out at 02:00 Saturday morning, and got to Dover a little earlier than expected, P & O Ferries obligingly offered us an earlier sailing, which we accepted gratefully, we had bought club class lounge seats, the lounge was nearly empty, so we tried to sleep (not very successfully). Anyway an hour and a half later we were in France heading to the belgium border near Liege, where found that little improvement to the surfaces of Belgiums motorway's had been made, the pot-holes are shocking in places. So we finally arrived at La Roche en Ardenne 5 hours or so later, we were soon befriended by a Belgian couple and a Dutch couple camped adjacent to us. I was a little concerned prior to setting out from home, that there may be an amount of Transphobia in such a rural place, I have to state that my concerns were totally unfounded, I don't think that transphobia exists in the Benelux countries.
    Our friends from The Hague visited us staying in a small hotel in an adjacent village, we had a brilliant BBQ with Begian sausages and also some ostich and kangaroo steaks that I had purchased in England, what are they like? Kangaroo tastes like steak but is a little more dense and chewier, and ostrich is similar to a good quality pork steak, the sauasage was outstanding, the price of booze was amazing and I now have to lose the extra 2 and half kilosweight that I gained in a week, cest la vie!
    We had days out across the border in Luxembourg, we shopped for clothes, food, drink, and eat in restaurants on occassions. In Begium we travelled to the German border, and also across to Dinant and Namur, trying to get a real feel for the place, because it's a strong possibility that we'll move to Belgium in the next few years to retire. My wife was born in Brussles, parented by an American father and Taiwanese mother, so she has a strong affinity to her birth country, even if she moved to England when she was only 4 months old.
    I am surprised that there aren't very many British tourists in the area, but also pleasantly thankful ! 
    Photos are on the edge of the ravine in Luxembourg City, a partial view of La Roche en Ardenne taken from the castle ruins, and of that Begian favourite frites with mayonaise, & yes they were nice! but I only had that one portion all the time away - honest!
    Next holiday is Luxembourg in September, I'm already looking forward to it. But the funny thing is I don't worry about travelling abroad as Eve anymore it's just natural to me, me being myself as I have alluded to in earlier postings and comments.
    Cheers,
    Eve



  8. eveannessant
    I don't know if this is the same for other parts of the world, but here in parochial England there is a definate tendency for separate cliques within the Trans community. The individual cliques seem to me to be hierarchical too, I'm not sure if this intentional or not, I suspect that it isn't and it's just people with similar interests and similar issues in their lives gathering together.
    Let me explain, when I first took my faltering high heeled steps outside of my front door in the Birmingham suburbs, and drove into the city centre to go for the first time to Outskirts I'd identified myself as Transvestite, and within 2 or 3 visits I'd found a group of freinds that I coud relate to, I soon found that most of those who'd progressed further with their journey or were much more experienced seemed to be in another separate group. It seemed so hierarchical to me at the time, and I found it somewhat off-putting, it seemed to almost be a system of rank at that time. I'd also add that I was quite shy and no good at all with small-talk, hell, that was me all through my male life. I thought that most of these "advanced" (for want of a better term) trans, probably started in a similar fashion to myself as a part-time Transvestite (or cross dresser if you prefer), and that they thought that I was playing at being trans, and so looked down their noses at me. I recall on my very first visit one of the two organisers took me outside around the block and then talked to me giving advice, after which on subsequent visits she never spoke a word to me or even acknowledged my existance.
    Well it didn't stop me, and when my breasts started to develop soon after starting on oestrogen, things within Outskirts started to slowly change socially for me, and my circle of friends expanded into other groups without losing contact with my first group of friends, however by and large the groups were distinct from one and another. Well, one of the gradual things caused by hormones that happened to me ,was that I started to lose my shyness and my small talk started to improve, albeit very gradually. I suppose some would say that I was more self confident than was previously the case.
    There have been entries on UK Trans sites that reflect this phenomena, with full-time pre-op trans feeling and acting, quite different socially to part-timers. Whilst I think I can now see their point of view, I don't agree with it at all.
    So what do I think their point of view is? Ok, I think that they see their own first faltering attempts to express their true identity, and are embarrassed by the memory and want to forget it, also that they are trying so hard to pass off as females full-time in their life, that they perhaps think that unconvincing (as I was at first) cross-dressers get noticed by the population at large, as men dressed as women and cause disparaging remarks and comments, which then by association sticks to them ( getting tarred with the same brush), the population at large is uneducated and doesn't see or understand the difference between someone who might be part-time has no intention of becoming transgendered, and full-time Transgendering wanting to be accepted by the population as a woman. I suppose it's rather like not wanting to walk down the street next to an unconvincing drag queen, knowing that you're going to be sharing the remarks of the public.......
    Well, look at it from the unconvincing drag queens, transvestites or cross dressers point of view, they need to feel that they belong, have support and encouragement, and are not alone, it's a lot more likely that they'll look up to you, and eventually become who they want to be, and you know what?, the best part of it all is that you get a sense of pride having having helped someone to have lost their self inhibitions, and gain the self confidence to express themselves as they truly feel.
    Cheers,
    Eve x
  9. eveannessant
    I've had a few random thoughts in the past couple of days, so i thought I'd share them whilst my nails are drying. A lot has been said recently about making decisions about going full-time and starting HRT, all of it was perfectly sensible and also correct about giving a lot of thought before taking a step that is largely irreversible, i have reflected on my own experience and reasoning and realised that an important (to me anyway) factor had been omitted thus far. I found it increasingly difficult leading a double life, male part-time and female part-time. Male wardrobe and shoes and female wardrobe and shoes, ensure no-one can see both, in front of some people I had to be Femme and others male, what a difficult juggling act it became for me, so along with the deep thought and long held desire to be identified as Femme I also had little choice at the end..................maybe this will be controversial to some , but it was my experience.
    Cheers,
    Eve x
  10. eveannessant
    Yesterday evening (Friday) we had some of our friends round for a BBQ and drinks, they were 3 trans and one wife plus my wife (should I now refer to her as my partner?) we had a great time. One of my Trans friends and I are quite close and we share many innermost thoughts such as how it all began for us with cross-dressing etc., I think it's imperative to have close freinds who are  going through similar issues, she is also like me waiting for her GRS, although she's in front of me in the queue. I don't know anyone in the UK who has seen a Transgender Therapist, I'm not sure if they even exist, so I'm often puzzled why US Trans people see them and wonder at the benefits versus the costs. I'm unsure of what the dialogue would contain. We have close friends as mentioned above, mostly met at Outskirts (a Trans group in B'ham UK) and in whome we trust and confide with each other with listening and advice, and we have really enjoyable conversations, I find it especially rewarding to meet newcomers fresh out of the closet and sit with them in a large group where we give support and advice on the myriad of issues that are faced by trans people, it seems to be a time honoured way of doing things. By no means do all go ahead and change gender full-time, or start HRT, relatively few of us actually, many have valid reasons for not going "all the way", such as jobs and family etc. and seem to be happy with part-time Transvestivism, some of whom would if those issues weren't there, and others who wouldn't want to anyway. So I guess that we could be described as a tight community that is also open to all.
    Anyway enough of my musings, in a weeks time we're off to the Ardennes in southern Belgium with our caravan, we have stayed in the Ardennes before in Luxembourg, but at that time I was presenting as male - albeit with a gynecomastia vest, so it wasn't too long ago. We were really taken with the area, and are thinking of uprooting and moving there in the next few years, especially if the UK in / out of the EU referendum results in an out result. So we want to go and see how well I'd be able to fit in as the new me - Eve. It seems to me that most trans people live in cities, so I really don't know what to expect in what is a very rural area of French speaking Belgium. We are meeting our freinds from The Hague whilst we are there and so I expect that we'll be having fun no matter what.
    Needless to say I'm excited at the prospect of going abroad for the second time as Eve with my new passport, and also treading unknown trans territory.......... I'll let you know when I return. 
    Cheers,
    Eve
     
     
  11. eveannessant
    Well ok you have, Caitlin Jenner in the US, and doesn't she look great on the cover of Vanity?. Here in the UK we have Kellie Maloney, formerly Frank Maloney, boxing promoter, managed Lennox Lewis amongst others, who has transitioned at the age of 60, that's what I call a really brave thing to do, of course it wasn't a choice, like most trans she could only resist being herself for so long, she has appeared on TV in rubbish dross shows such as Big Brother (reality show), but these are shows that the masses watch, and so it helps to normalise being trans in the minds of those who find it difficult to think for themselves. Kellie has freely admitted that her life was better after appearing in the show, than was previously the case.
    These Celebrity Trans actually do a huge favour for the rest of us, in helping to develop a "so you're trans - so what?" attitude to us, amongst the sheep-like masses out there. Of course there will be some who would already have had a "oh really? wow, when did you.......etc" questioning and interest attitude to us, I hope that more will behave in such a manner.
    Personally I don't agree with Kellie and her politics (UKIP), but from what I have seen, I admire her achievement, and determination to be who she wants be, she is a lady who believes in herself & that's good enough for me.
    Thanks Kellie, bless you,
     
    Eve x
  12. eveannessant
    I just thought that my previous entry wasn't quite complete, and I needed to add a second entry supplemental to it. When I first came out of the closet (Trans Wardrobe?) to my wife, the mist was just starting to thin, I didn't think it would ever be possible for me to become a full-time trans woman, even though my innermost self wanted it with all my heart. I had thought about it many times before and told myself it's not possible based on my physical build. Anyway I started dressing around the house for nights in and started experimenting with make-up. After another 4 months or so I found out about a close friend who was similarly afflicted. This eventually led to part-time dressing in trans-friendly places, so it was an enlarged closet really. Can you see the mist starting to thin some more?  I had a great deal of tranxiety at first getting from my front door into a car and being tranxious about the car stopping at traffic lights and people looking at me, and going from the carpark to the bar, I've never walked so fast in high heels in my life! It then started becoming apparent to me that the Genie was well and truly getting out of the bottle......... and the mist is clearing a little more. 
    I've already mentioned in previous entries that I had fooled around with phyto-estrogen pills and cream, I didn't expect them to work, however around the same time I was diagnosed with gynecomastia, this in retrospect still seems to me to be the foundation of my going on further, than purely cross-dressing. So the mist is clearing quite quickly now. The weather had also started to change for Trans people too, it was becoming less and less unusual to be trans.
    I gradually became satisfied as being an inbetweenie (non gender specific) then moved on ever further to becoming femme, the remnants of the mist had disappeared during this 2 year period and now that I am fulltime undergoing hormone treatment, very occasionally during a red wine induced period of insomnia, I think about my choice to desert being male, it brings the occasional tranxieties that soon disappear. After sleeping later in the early morning I seem stronger in my belief of being femme. So the mist occasionally returns, and then the sun shines through and the mist disappears..............
    So it takes time to transition, it took me longer than many others that I know. It's also hard work and expensive, even in the UK where most medical issues are treated free, there remians the cost of maintaining a female wardrobe, the cost of many pairs of shoes, I sometimes think that I might have some centipede in me!, and the cost of make-up and beauty treatments, electrolysis, nails being gelled, and so on. Then there's the cost of name change and documents being changed.
    So you have to realise that these changes are going to be you for the rest of your life, when you have accepted that and you accept yourself for who you really are, I think the mist will have finally cleared away.
    Profoundly,
    Eve
     
     
  13. eveannessant
    This has been bothering me for some time now, I have never felt as if I was born in the wrong body as many who have transitioned have. I have never really understood why I had it in me, or what caused me to want to transition to female. Sounds kind of daft to admit to that doesn't it, well it does to me anyway, I pretty much can't go back even if I wanted to, which I definately don't.
    After reading Becoming Drusilla, and Karen Paynes latest blog entry, it becomes ever more apparent to me, that signs of the female side of my self were there all along, from a reasonably early age, I just couldn't see it at the time. Was it social conditioning, or too much testosterone that hid my femme self? Perhaps both.
    I have had a number of girlfriends when I was in my late teens and early twenties, all of whom were good looking, yes I was quite choosey about that. More than one of them said to me that they had thought or dreamt of another of my male friends who was cross dressed, but the scary thing was that this other guy had the same first name as myself, and yes I was secretly cross-dressing at that time. Where they trying to broach the subject of cross dressing because they suspected me, and wanted to make it easier for me to talk about it? I always wanted to buy them what could only be termed tarty but sexy clothing, so I suspect it must have made them wonder why.
    There were earlier signs too when I was very young perhaps 5 or 6 years old, I came across an elder female cousins high heeled knee boots, leather jacket, and motorcycle helmet (She was in her late teens and had arrived at our house on her parents motorcycle and sidecar) I was truly attracted to them in my innocence, and put the on, although obviously they didn't fit, anyway I was clumping around in them when I was discovered, all the adults of course laughed, because they thought it was childish innocent play.
    In my later years I just thought that it was a fetish, perversion, or kink - call it what you will.
    I now know that there has always been a very female side to me ever since I was born, but I'm still unsure of why. I seemed to have a lot of very male traits in my early life and testosterone has ravaged my body, leaving me prior to coming out as Trans with a stocky, hairy, wide shouldered and narrow hipped body with male pattern baldness, not at all what most people (including myself at that time) would have thought of as Transgender material. Perhaps it was these factors that had kept my female self from becoming apparent to me at that time.
    Point is, that by reading the stories of others can help understanding of one's self (sorry for the Britishness) and in my case my evolvement to transitioning. Thank God others have trodden a similar path to me, before me, and have been bothered enough to record it.
    Thank you all, don't stop recording your path.
    Eve xx
     
  14. eveannessant
    Hi, I thought I'd just jot down a few things that i didn't see coming before transitioning.............I'd love to know if others found some of the same issues.
    So here thay are;
    After about 2 years or so on oestrogen I find I need to pee a lot more often than I used to - especially just before leaving the front door. I now have a greater understanding of a womans need to pee! I don't drink as much alcohol as I used to (still drink too much though!), & I eat less food too. My taste buds appear to have changed, gone has my previous obsession for chilli and hot spices, and now I like the previously unliked chocolate, I now like Chardonnay (previously avoided by me) and other white wines slightly more than even Cider, I don't like most beers anymore. I now eat prawns, and love salads that I used to often dodge if I could get away with doing so. God I'm even starting to like coffee..............but still like green tea. I now have a great sense of colour and dress co-ordination, many females have commented on this. Although my deepest innerself is much the same, I am a lot more relaxed, forgiving, emotional, & easier to get along with, I guess my persona has softened a lot at the previously crusty edges! I don't rush around trying to get everything done as quickly as possible anymore as I used to do as a male. (Anglo-Saxon work ethic). I'm a lot tidier and don't mind cleaning as much  (I used to dislike it). Obviously I don't have the sex drive that I used to have as a male, this is especially true after testosterone blockers (last 4months). I've noticed that previously greasy or oily areas of my face are a lot less greasy now. As a male I had male pattern baldness, I have been on Finasteride for almost 2 years, this started hair regrowth, with the T blockers as well, my hair regrowth has accelerated. Of course I'm pleased with the things that I did see coming notably the more ovious physical changes, such as boobs and hairy chest not being hairy anymore (thank God), my skin is softer than it used to be and muscle wastage.
    I can absolutely say that I much prefer being female to male, and that there is no way on Earth that I'd go back.
    Hugs,
    Eve x
  15. eveannessant
    Hi, last year June 30th I was involved in a road traffic accident (RTA) where as I was overtaking another slow moving vehicle when it suddenly turned right and smashed into the side of my car. I was travelling at 60mph and had to swerve at the last minute to the right hand verge, but still the other vehicle hit me and subsequently careered across a driveway and narrowly missed hitting a brick wall, I was shaken up, stopped as soon as I could safely, and walked back to exchange details. I was still presenting as male at that time and so offered 50 / 50 and 70 / 30 settlements  in favour of the other driver but she refused, and insisted on going to court with the case. These offers were made because I was scared of going to court and being asked awkward questions about transitioning, and being belittled. I shouldn't have worried, today (Wednesday 13th May 2015) in Birmingham County Court the judge found in favour of me, and no remarks about transgendering were made at all, by anyone present.
    I can't tell you how relieved I am, after having this hanging over me for almost a year, but the silver lining to the dark cloud is that it has boosted my confidence no end.............I AM EVE !      .........and I believe in myself more and more. I have posted about believing in yourself before, and it takes me back to my diving days when I was hooked on Technical Diving, one of the experienced divers (Tom Mount?) who published books about it, had said that mental preparation was of paramount importance, and stated "believe you can or believe you can't, you're right either way........ How true, I believe I can and I believe In myself.
    Anyway it's off to Brighton at the end of the week for a whole week, with the caravan of course and all that entails (usually broken nails! - a realistic belief !) The Brighton Festival is on, which is a little arty and touchy feely at times, but one of the shows that my wife has booked is the Joey Arias Experience, whom I believe is a NYC vocalist who is also in drag, I'm quite looking forward to it. 
    Between now and then I have to attend face torture (electrolysis) tomorrow, and whats left of my nails re-gelling on Friday. How I love going away on hols...............
    Cheers, hugs and a peck on the cheek,
    Eve
  16. eveannessant
    Whilst on my Dutch holiday, I decided to show our hosts the gentle British art of spoon hanging...................of course they also tried & quite successfully. Who knows this might catch on as a cult craze.........
    I find such nonsense amusing, must be sometnig to with having a small mental capacity, little things amuse little minds.......................
    Cheers ,
    Eve



  17. eveannessant

    Going Dutch

    By eveannessant,

    Hi Girls and Boys,

    In my last entry I told of my excitement of going on holiday to Holland for a week driving with our caravan in tow from Dover to Dunkirk via a ferry. My excitement was fully justified, however dissapointingly no one on the outward journey checked my passport other than the ferry company, but no worry once on the ferry I settled down to reading a new e-book that I recently purchased (Becoming Drusilla - more about this later). No-one stared, no-one said any rude remarks as my innermost self had feared, and why should they, have no-one has in in the UK to date, we disembarked at Dunkirk with myself feeling very happy and drove through northern France, Belgium and into Holland. As we neared the camp-site we saw the magnificent bulb fields with mainly tulips and hyacinths in full bloom, they gave a wonderful striped colourful view of the flat landscape.

    We shared our section of the campsite with 2 Canadian women (amongst others)who were touring in a German registered motor home, They told my wife that liked to see 2 women camping together! My wife then told them that I am transgender, and they absolutely accepted me as myself as a trans woman, I told them I still needed 'L' plates!

    When our freinds visited the next day for a BBQ the two Canadian women also came over for dinks, our freinds are a (cis) couple, she's a "Kiwi", and he's a "Cloggie", they're an absolutely fantastic couple, who invited us over to their house in The Hague for an overnight stop. The next day we visited a museum in Harlem in the morning and then drove to The Hague. My wife went out cycling with the the male half and I went shopping with the female half.........great fun, quite unexpectedly she said that getting the foundations right was so important to looking good...........so she bullied me into going for a bra fitting, the net result hasn't produced anything that I didn't know already, but the experience was fun, the Dutch shop assistant was sooo open minded! Bless her.

    That evening we drank in the beautiful bar that they created in their loft space, it was truly amazing. The next day we visited the Japenese garden, followed by lunch and a visit to the amazing model world exhibition. In the evening we went to an Italian restaurant, where I was always referred to as madam, this was really good! Food was also good too.

    All too soon it was time to pack up the caravan where I ruined my nails on the caravan awning , oh well camping and long nails don't really mix! After an overnight stop on a Truly awful campsite next door to Dunkirk, we made our way to the ferry port, where my passport was checked more times than I can remember, success at last I thought!

    It was nice all the same, to be back home in the UK except for the M25 around west London, we got home and eventually had drinks and a roast chicken dinner (UK style of course with lots of gravy!).

    I'm now back at work and looking forward to our next trip in the South of England in a couple of weeks time.

    Ok I mentioned the book that I couldn't put down "Becoming Drusilla" by Richard Beard. It's a biography of a MTF transition from the eyes of a close friend who is the author. I was fascinated by the similarities between Drusilla and myself, hands on engineering backgounds etc. At the conclusion of the book I actually cried properly for the first time since transitioning, I felt that I had found some answers to my own questions, and at the same time to find that I am not at all alone in being different to many other "T" girls that I know, both mentally and physically. Drusilla also has a website called Being Drusilla.

    Well at least I haven't bored you to death with the holiday snaps taken on my new i phone!

    Cheers,

    Eve
  18. eveannessant
    Hi, and I hope that you're all well.

    My wife and myself are off to Holland next weekend, we're taking our caravan behind our trusty Land-Rover, with our bicycles mounted inbetween. This will be the first time that I get to use my new passport, and be my new self 100% of our holiday.
    I'm not anxious about it at all, well apart from cycling with a wig on ! I'm really looking forward to it, we had a BBQ last night, our friends of whom I have told of before (he ? she? was also Trans, unknowingly to each other! before we "came out"), I wore an old wig and one of my last few remaining male tee shirts because I was the cook. I stunk of smoke afterwards, and had to sower and change mid evening, and the thought struck me, I'm going to have to do similar whilst away in Holland (we most always BBQ when caravanning). Admittedly, this is an inconvenience, but a minor one really, however I'm not sure about taking a male tee shirt with me though.............

    Whilst we are there we will meet up with a friend of my wifes (also my friend now) who has stopped with us before, and has seen me as Eve, I think that we are all looking forward to being together again.

    I'll let you know how I got on when I return, we're stocking the caravan up after it's winter storage today, so I'm getting really busy now, so I won't be posting very much until early May.

    Life as Eve is sooo much better than Steve...............

    Cheers & Hugs,

    Eve
  19. eveannessant
    I've been struggling to think of something to write about, being Eve seems so normal to me now, I'm even starting to forget who Steve was and how he thought........... I no longer feel so exposed at supermarkets or anywhere else for that matter, I am truly amazed at this, I never in my wildest dreams thought that any of this was ever going to be remotely possible.

    I had my second decapeptyl injection yesterday evening, and I can already feel the difference it makes, or is it the galss of Australian Chardonnay ? I know that oestrogen and testosterone blockers help a hell of a lot, but they alone are not enough to make you believable to the rest of the population.

    Anyway I had to go into the office today, and by chance I met the Head of HR (who is my managers boss), I think that I've always gotten along pretty well with her, but she didn't recognise me at first, when she realised who I was, we had a long chat, and she complimented me on my dress sense and hair etc, and we talked about Trans issues in general. After a while she said that I was totally convincing as a female, well I'm not so sure I replied, but my self confidence has grown a lot in the past 3 months, but I guess that the real issue is that I'm really getting used to myself, being me as I really am and not pretending to be male, or thinking I was pretending to be female.

    So I have a message to you all, believe in yourself, be who you really are.

    If you don't do this, you will soon be seen as false, or to state it in a way that most Trans people will recognise, you will be read or you won't pass!, so heed my message!

    Have a great Easter everyone.......

    Eve x
  20. eveannessant

    Female talk

    By eveannessant,

    Had a great day at work yesterday, which finished off with a 45 min long chat with a female colleague who used to do the admin for our H&S Training Courses. This is really the first social chat I've had with a cis female who isn't a close friend, since transition. Well it was extremely frank and surprisingly different to any conversation that I've had with a male either before or after my transition. I think that the thing I felt most surprised about was the fact that talking felt so good deep inside of me, I don't know (becauase I'm not Catholic), but I imagine it was like a confessional. No wonder why women seem to like talking so much, it's taken two and half years of oestrogen for me to realise it mind you!

    It sort of confirms my thoughts that I'm thinking differently to how I used to think as a male or before I started presenting full time en femme. Of course I have realised that I'm generally happier now, but I had thought that it was because I no longer have to guard a secret any more. The changes that hormones have brought about me, other than the obvious physical changes, have amazed me, and I really hope that they will continue to do so.

    Hmmm, mind you, I'm not sure that I could classify myself as a woman yet anyway, but I think at least I have the right to wear "L" plates!

    Having been a man in my past life, I can see why the sexes get so frustrated with other, there is no way that I could have imagined what it's like to be a woman when I was a man. Yes it is a mans world, for all the equality acts and similar around the world, but I don't think that men meant it to be so, they just can't understand how or what is needed to make it more equal.

    I'd love to know if the reverse is similar for Trans men, perhaps someone can let me know?

    Anyway I'm off on a pub crawl in Birminghams South Side, with my wife and some LGBT Friends this afternoon, we've been looking forward to it for the past two weeks.............I don't think I'll be in a very fit state to write anything for a day or so afterwards........

    As we say in the UK,

    Cheers,

    Eve
  21. eveannessant

    A good week

    By eveannessant,

    I had a good day on Wednesday at work, had a long chat with a female manager who I had a Health & Safety Inspection appointment with, she was very complimentary and understanding of my transition, and we found out that we both had similar political views, whilst walking around her section, I found that they were selling jewellery which were displayed in glass cases. I actually bought a pewter broach,
    And the manager and her staff were also saying "Oh I like this and that one too" it was almost like shopping! It made me feel so happy, later on I had another inspection to do in the same building, and the assistant manager who accompanied me said that the perfume I was wearing was lovely and enquired what it was, saying it was so fragrant and subtley flowerey, how nice it was to recieve those comments.........

    My wife and I went to the supermarkets in Redditch with our female friend, and I had a great time with them around the clothing section, bought my wife a new top, and our friend found a purple wrist watch, which really went with my purple gelled nails, purple cross over top, and purple agate jewellery, we then bought three fillet steaks, and various veg and wines to accompany, and had a great evening, but my diet has suffered :-( . never mind I'll try to abstain for the next 2 weeks to make up for it.

    I hope that this week coming will be as good as the last............

    Cheers,

    Eve
  22. eveannessant

    A Moving Video

    By eveannessant,

    I found this on You Tube, the poem at the end really blew me away..............



    I can't really think of what more to say after that, other than I have troubesome neighbours who want to stare.........they make my heart heavy.........

    Eve x
  23. eveannessant
    It struck me as I was watching BBC morning news, how bizarre it is that same sex marriage isn't allowed in Alabama, why bizarre you might ask? Well I live in Birminghma UK, and we are all aware that a city of the same name exists in Alabama, so? well didn't lots of people emigrate to the USA to escape restrictions on their freedom, escaping to the land of the free? And yet paradoxically in Birmingham UK same sex couples can marry without any bother, the law and police uphold all LGBT rights, there is a lively LGBT quarter on the south side of the city.

    All my life I have wanted to visit the USA, but I'm not so sure now especially as I'm no longer presenting as a cis male, and the last places I'd want to visit in the world would be the Southern States or Arabia, again how bizarre that the two areas in the world that I'd avoid like the plague are in conflict with each other..................Thank God for Europe.

    If not all Southern States are similar to lesser or greater degrees, please inform me.

    Ok you might be thinking more anti-USA crap, not so at all, I'd still love to visit the civilised & enlightened Northern States, New York and San Francisco would be near the top of my list, when I win the lottery! I'd also add that MOST Americans I have met have been friendly and nice people, so how strange that Alabama should want to present itself as the opposite!

    Last week I blogged that i'd had mesotherapy on my face, and that I'd keep you informed of the progress, the bottom half of my face has improved somewhat but the bags under my eyes are still there :-( However the full effects are said to work after 3 weeks, so there's still a couple of weeks to go, and I'm trying to remain positive!

    We've booked ferry crossings and camp sites for a visit to holland at the end of April, this will be Eve's first visit abroad on her new passport, totally as Eve, not appearing as male at all, and why should I, I don't appear as male in the UK anymore, I have to keep telling myself I am EVE.

    That's all for now folks!

    Eve
  24. eveannessant
    I am so peed off with organisations getting my identity wrong.......... I have just received an appointment for a Pituitary MRI Scan at Redditch Hospital.....(because I had an abnormally low testosterone count in my blood) addressed to Mr Eve Ann ............. How embarrassing! I could go there and get called out as Mr ........... when I'm not anymore.........I've phoned the hospital, they've apologised, but I don't trust them to get it right.

    Identity change is a nightmare..................
  25. eveannessant

    Transdate 28/02/15

    By eveannessant,

    I have always had horrible ugly bags underneath my eyes since my early twenties, with the passage of time (lots!) my upper eye lids have also become hooded......Aaaarrrrrrggh! it makes eye shadow pure guess work! I wanted to have cosmetic surgery, and thought that that was the only option.

    Last week when I got my nails gelled, and eyebrows threaded, the salon technician said that she'd had her face lifted at the neighbouring complexion salon, so I enquired and was told what was entailed (Mesotherapy) and it would cost £150.....compared to £5-7K for surgery it was worth a try.

    So I had this Mesotherapy treatment on my face, it didn't hurt, i was told to expect results to start in 3 days time and to be completed within 3 weeks. I have noticed a slight difference already 24 hours later. I'll keep you all informed as time passes...................

    I was told that much of what was applied was made in the USA, so I wonder how much similar treatment costs over there? Please let me know, and of course any personal experiences good or bad.

    Eve

    Salon link;

    http://www.naturalco...ns.co.uk/clinic
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