monk08091956

April 16, hello everyone. Here again. I have been miserable, angry, binge eating and not doing anything for myself. I realize that i can't change everything overnight, that small subtle changes where making me feel good about myself. Suppressing my true inner feeling's and emotions is going to lead back down a path i don't want to travel again. I have people that are very supportive and caring on here and who i can talk to face to face. I am going to take it slow, little changes here and there, but some progress is better than no progress. Thank you for being here.

4-6-16 i can't do this. Im to old and set in my ways. To many things involved. Thank you everyone for the support you have given me. I wish you all well.

Thank you everyone for your patience, understanding, and wisdom. I was able to over come my anxiety today and bought a bra. It feels amazing just wearing it for a short time. Not enjoying shaving areas that have never seen a rozor. I suppose some things take time to get used to. Text with friend gave me some more tips on how to proceed.

Sat 4-2-16 i had a great conversation with a friend last night. She gave me something's to start working on that i didn't even think of. Working on my voice, think of some names, even shopping for a bra. She said she would go with me, WOW that shocked me. Have several things i am determined to get done this week. Feeling energized, got myself a manicure. Thank you everyone for being here.

Thank you Bree, i have run from, hidden from, and drowned my feelings and emotions all my life. My therapist has been working on getting me to recognize them and to deal with them. I am not sure i will ever be able to just feel something for what it is. Good or bad. Feel like turning my back on this and showing a happy face to people. My head and heart are in turmoil, i so want to explore this side of me. Pity pot time: maybe i am destined to live in a shell. Never noing what true happiness is. Slap me in the back of the head for that comment.

Friday 4-1-16 continue to gather information, reading blogs and articles, looking for local resources. Making plans to go into city to visit resource center. Im scared, anxiety rising, also excited. Feelings suck.

Yes monk is fine. Thank you. I have been advised to move slowly and silently.

Joined this site a few days ago after many years of fantasizing wondering what it would be like to explore what i was really feeling inside. Did some deep soul searching and realized that to feel complete, i have to explore and sort through my emotions. I have been supressing and fighting my true feelings. I am on a fact finding mission. This is the first i am expressing any of these feelings. It feels good talking about this.