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Showing results for tags 'passing'.
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With no disrespect I’ve been noticing the more I’m with cross-dressers that two things (at least from my experience in the last several years) is, the majority of cross-dressers will not transition so they are part-timers only and that they never attempt to mask their voice to female mode and one reason I believe for the voice aspect is they only do to trans-friendly establishments. Keeping with voice, I’ve only met three post-op transgender and I’m astonished to find they don’t attempt to change their voice what-so-ever. Sure they are many transgender people that do this, myself included as this fills the package but for the life of me don’t understand when asked why they don’t the common response is “I’m happy just like this” but at the same time get frustrated when they are addressed as “he” which I’ve personally heard when out with two of them. I tell them, if you expected to live your life as a female one must put some effort into the voice else people will not treat you as female and let’s put another thing into this, if you don’t fully pass facially but sound female you will for the most part be treated as a female while fully passing physically and sounding masculine most time you will not pass but believe you have because most people will treat you that way only so to be polite. In the end it’s their life and their decisions made in regards to a voice will either make life roll along smoothly or create pot holes.
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Over time it is hard to not recognize that not just with gender issues but every aspect of life we encounter a fear and doubt our abilities to cope. This is normal behavior until we key in on gender dysphoria because if nothing else we are living in a world that is gender centric, male or female. Fear of being late with a car payment is vastly different than stepping out one’s front door dressed in the opposite gender. We can call the bank, chat with them and make special arrangements if your payment will be a few days overdue. Now when walking out the front door as a female or male those who see us and identify with us as the opposite gender quickly form an opinion be it good or bad unlike the bank who looks at your history with them over a period of time. Once you walk out that door fear takes over similarly to standing in front of a group to give a speech, mouth is dry, we sweat all over the place but over time with repetition we become less sweaty and the mouth is not so dry until if we do it enough now the door is open to familiarity with little to no stress. Heck I know, if you caught me in 2000 standing in front of 10 students you would think I was a complete amateur but several years later stood in front of 375 people and was right a home. I say it and hear others say it, it gets easier each time you walk out the front door dressed in the opposite gender. How many times does it take? That is going to be different for everyone. What is critical is believing in yourself because if you don’t believe in yourself how do you expect others to believe in you? To believe in yourself it takes time in the comfort of your own home first watching various shows on television, study female mannerism then get up of the chair and practice what you just saw. A physical therapist once told me to suck in my abdomen several times a day and would find her in my head at the strangest times so I suck it in. Same applies to learning mannerism of the opposite gender. Example, you are driving in your car, look down at your legs, how are they positioned, legs spread apart or comfortably close together, are both hands on the steering wheel or just one? Correct as needed. Sticking with driving, this is the perfect time to practice your opposite gender voice where absolutely nobody can hear you, just keep the windows up at red lights. The more you practice these and similar traits of the opposite gender the better prepared you are for stepping out the front door. So what if Mr. Jones sees you, wave and smile and don’t hasten your pace, take a deep breath and continue on. Hopefully Mr. Jones will become accustom to you being seen as a female yet there is one fallacy to this which is during the week you are male and weekends female. The fix for this is to be female more often during the week. The key is to want it then prepare so you are as natural as you can be and remember it does get easier over time, I know because I have done many of the suggestions and more. In closing, I invite others to chime in with there suggestions as I DON'T know it all and there is a vast wealth of wisdom within this community that can be drawn upon.
