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I lost hope

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Today I went down because my mom wanted to talk to me about my brother doing homeschool with me. After our conversation I went to make some popcorn because popcorn is awesome. A few minutes later she then commented that her soap opera has a transgender in it. At this point I am nervous on how she would think of that. She then commented "That's disgusting. I guess they have to make it more modern. What has the world come to?" My heart instantly dropped.

I quickly finished what I was doing in the kitchen and ran upstairs to my room. I am full of emotions right now. Angry, sad, confused. Right when I was starting to crawl out of the pit of depression, I sunk back in. My mom basically rejected me, and the worst part is that she doesn't know it.

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Hey Art...

Sorry to hear that it sounds like your Mum will not be accepting of your true identity as a young man.

For now it appears she may be unaccepting, but some people change after being smacked in the face with the news that someone close to them is trans. It is much easier to have someone come around to accepting you, than it is to feel accepted in the beginning, and then have that person turn his/her back on you later.

If your Mum doesn't come around, at least it will have been no surprise. You said she's rejected you and doesn't even know it, but I can't help but wonder why she felt the need to mention to you the trans character in her soap opera. Do the two of you often discuss what goes on in this program?


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Hello Art,

I'm also sorry to hear about your experience with your mom. I would like to suggest, though, that you check your assumptions before taking it too seriously. I don't mean to say that her statement didn't happen, nor that she is telling you her bias - those are very real. But, until you do actually tell her you cannot really know how she will react. Perhaps (at least we can hope) that once she realizes that it's her child who is experiencing such trauma then her opinions and reactions will change.

We could even imagine a scenario where she had noticed a transgender person in her soap opera and reacted positively, only to react negatively later when, here again, she realizes it's her child - not some TV actor.

I think it's all too easy for all of us (especially me) to jump to a negative conclusion based on assumptions that haven't been checked out. That said, she gave you some information that hurts to hear but maybe it will help you as you prepare to come out to her.

I wish you the best, Art. I really do.



P.S. Please don't interpret what I'm writing to be telling you "to get over it." I certainly know that you're hurting and that's what you need to do now. I just want to add my voice that you are heard, valued, and accepted. You will get through this.

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Taking from me, been there and learned that a handful of my friends where against transgender people until they knew I was one and that changed everything, they are all converts. Now for my mother, same thing, she appeared to be unaccepting but that has changed completely

If I may be so bold to ask you not to make assumptions (same as Emma wrote). Try hard (and I know it's far from easy) to look on the bright side that you can change her ideas of who transgender people are, she has one living in her home and you are completely normal!!!

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I would like to thank you all for the support you have given me. It really brightened my day. I forgot to add that after our talk about homeschool she asked me "Do you have anything to tell me?" I don't know if she knows or thinks that I am trans or if she is talking about my depression or something totally different. God I hope she doesn't know. Anyways I would just like to say again thank you so much. This community really made me see the light in all of this and I wish you all a good life <3

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