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My Response To A Young Gaymale . . .

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Was deeply moved when, while surfing the 'net, I came across a blog from a young Gaymale who wanted to no longer be a Gaymale.

We ALL want to, on occasion, to "quit ourselves." NO ONE IS EXEMPT.

It is OK to "shut it down," for a limited period of time, "give it a rest," to let our minds clear, to reassess WHAT KIND OF PERSON we want to be.

Would have liked to beg him NOT to run away from himself, as that invites guilt and shame into one's life.

Even though this blog addressed a Gaymale, his story resonated with me, as I left the Lesbian community, after I broke up with my beloved (a ten year relationship) as I was confused as to where I belonged in the Lesbian community. Think many in the transgender community will resonate with Luis' story, too.

Left the Lesbian community for ten years. Even though that was a much longer time that I would recommend to others, I feel (because I hopefully matured in ten years' time) more confident in the woman that I am, and I am not as easily swayed by what others think of me.

Looking back, I would have sought out another crowd, perhaps by starting with a one to two week vacation out of town.

In the past, after every breakup, amicable or not, I automatically had six months of weekly counseling and gave dating a rest for two years. This breakup was different as I could not find a good counselor that I could afford.

Had I been able to do it over, I would have continued to search for a good counselor, and been more assertive in offering office and parking lot cleaning (as I had in the past) in trade for counseling.

To my dear Gaymale friend, please seek counseling and give dating a rest. IT DOES GET BETTER!



Your sister in friendship,


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Excellent point, as always. There is some sort of Chinese proverb that I've lost most of, but it goes something like this: as you go down a block of houses that look so serene always remember that behind all those doors, everyone has their own problems. No one is immune.

Be well, Monica,


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