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My Dear Friends,

When I learned about demisexuality, (here at TGGuide!), I was really excited because it described me to a 'T'!  

Demisexuality, in my opinion, is not about sexual orientation, but about a person's APPROACH to sexuality, no matter what their sexual orientation is.

It is "one step up" from asexuality, in that a demisexual is not easily aroused, because it takes time for the demisexual to get to know the person before becoming aroused.

A demisexual is defined by a person who is sexually attracted by a person's character or interior, rather than their exterior, or looks.

In my opinion, a demisexual can be Straight or TLGB.

Ideally, a demisexual would be attracted to another demisexual, as they would more likely resonate with one another.

Consider myself a demisexual, as I always took my time to get to know a person before becoming involved with them.  My friends would jokingly say that I was "slow as molasses," and that by the time I decided I liked a girl, that she would think I was not interested, and be long gone by the time I share with her that I was interested in getting to know her better!  Have passed up many a beautiful woman (not that they would be interested in me!) because I did not resonate with her heart.

Found true love with another demisexual, a beautiful, brilliant Lesbian transwoman who was a scientist.  We were friends for two years and even "hung out" together, before dating.  On my side, I thought that such a beautiful woman would never be interested in a woman that looked like me, and such a brilliant woman as her would not be interested in an intelligent, but not brilliant, woman as me.  She was a scientist and I was a human rights/civic activist.  She read Scientific American and I read a wide variety of magazines and newspapers.  She had a laser intellect and I had broad interests.  Thankfully, she never humiliated me with her great intellect.  She was a truly humble woman.  We complimented each other very well. Recently, while Spring cleaning, I discovered her address and telephone number.  Called her and found her she was still the beautiful woman (inside and out) that I always loved, but now is happily involved with someone else.  Am very happy for her.

Two excellent websites about demisexuality:



Some say being a "romantic," is a sexual orientation, but I think that is a way of showing love that could apply to ALL sexual orientations and ALL approaches to sexuality.

In my opinion, I think I am a "romantic," because I love celebrating the holidays, especially Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, and I never forget birthdays and anniversaries.  Know many people of different sexual orientations who are the same way.  In short, I am a hopeless romantic!

A great big "thank you," to my beloved, who showed me that I have a lot of live to give to my lady, no matter what I may want to call it!


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Hi Monica,

As one of your fans, please allow me to be one of the first to welcome you BACK to TG Guide! We missed you.

And also, I love your post about demisexuality. I think you are making 100% sense. Good on you, Monica, always.

Your friend,


Edited by EmmaSweet
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Hi Monica,

I sense some deep sadness in your entry.                                                                 

Don't knock yourself down, I'm sure many people would be interested in you. I know, that's fine for me to say that, because I also do the same sort of self deprecating things, you might see that in my latest blog entry ,specifically to do with mental capacity...................

Whatever my shortcomings and I'm sure I have many, such as I'll never have a shapely body with such broad shoulders and narrow hips, I'm old, I'm not good looking and cute, my voice is terrible and will never be very femme, not well off financially et al, others still like & love me.

Point is, if I can overcome all that crap, you can too.

A persons inner self which I think used to be referred to as their persona will always shine out, and ok you refer to it as demisexuality, but if you really like some one, and they really like you, the sex bit will likely arrive at some point later. To my mind anything else is shallow, and to an extent false.

Second point is that your persona does shine out girl, hold on to it it's great..........



Eve x

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