Dear Warren,

There comes a time to put a person "on ice," which means no contact, usually for a year or two, until things calm down.  The above describes a "flame war," which you want not to be involved in, at all costs.  If a friend wants to be friends with a person that you have put "on ice," then you need to calmly tell them that you can not be friends with them because you do not want them to talk about the person or discuss you, with the person you have put "on ice."  If they refuse to understand or at least make an agreement not to talk about you with the person you have put "on ice," then you should politely explain to them you want no contact.

Have put my brothers "on ice" for TEN YEARS, and it worked out in the end.  For most people, it works when it is one or two years, but for some thick heads, it is ten years, and for some, forever.

About friends who refuse to agree not to talk about you with those you have put "on ice," (and now with social media, this is even harder!), you need to have the courage to put them on ice for the same length of time as the original person you put on ice.  Have had to do this a few times myself, with a few people forever.

Warren, the reality is, not everyone loves or likes you.  Also, you do not love or like everyone.  Just because you were born in the same family as another person, does not mean you will love or like someone.  Have been invited to a family reunion again this year, and I am trying to get out of it, because many of them hate me, and I can't stand most of them.  If I DO go, I will walk around the park looking for T/LGB people to spend the time with, or Spanish speaking families to hang with.  (A relative married an African-American woman, and she and her children are treated the same way as I am.  What upsets me about this the most is that the children did not ask to be there, and she should not have forced them!)

Please accept that YOU CAN NOT FORCE SOMEONE TO LIKE OR LOVE YOU!

Strongly suggest you quit social media of ALL KINDS because it is NOT MODERATED, and stick with support groups such as TGGuide, that is TIGHTLY MODERATED.

Find people you like and love, and put your energy into them!

Your FRIEND,

Monica

Hiya Warren and Monica. There is a quote here. "HappilyYou Can Choose Your Friends, But, Sadly, You Cannot Choose Your Family ! Your Friends, They Are The Family, Who You Choose For Yourself ! "    My Family, was blown apart, over 17 1/2 Year's Ago, By My Parent's ! I have No Brother's, and Only One Younger Sister !  She Lives Several Hundred Miles Away. She Only corresponds by Post, on Birthday's, and Christmas. I have an Uncle and Aunt, We correspond with by Post, on Birthday's, and Christmas, and A Cousin, and His Family, again corresponding by Post, on Birthday's, and Christmas !  I Was on Facebook, Until the Beginning of this Year, and One Facebook Friend, I Do have contact with, on Messenger ! My Facebook account, is just sitting doing Nothing, in My Old Identity !  Warren, and Monica, You are Both Lovely People. You Are Being True To Yourselves. That Is what matter's !  Warren, Please Young Man, leave the Social Media alone. It Is More Trouble, than It Is Worth ! If Alene Cannot Accept You, for Being You - Warren, then cut ties altogether, is My Advice. Monica, Is A Very Popular Lady here at TGGuide, and Warren, You are a Very Popular Young Man here at TGGuide. You arer Both among proper "Friend's" here. Take Care, and Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

i havent been in contact with my mom or my older sister for months. they only call me when they want something or to torment me, and usually I dont answer the phone. The only reason this all occured was because we have...had?.....a mutual friend, Lisa. So Manda saw what I posted on Lisa's page and went...well....Manda, on me. Otherwise I have no contact with my bio-family aside from my younger sibling. The only one who respects me and calls me by my legal name. I have a family, and it's not by blood. I've claimed my family due to those around me who actually care about me and respect who I am. Manda had lashed out ambitiously to that post which I'll show you in a minute, but I was very overwhelmed with love and support from other people who bitched her out for it promptly. 

We CAN chose our family.

And she's not in mine.

Dear Warren,

I beg you NOT to respond!

YOUR FRIEND,

Monica

Dear Warren. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE Do NOT Respond ! It Is NOT Worth It !   It Is Only Going to cause You More Heartache, and Upset !  Warren, You are a Great Guy. Look After You - Warren !  Take Care Young Man, and Look After Yourself. Remember, If You Need Us, We ARE Here. With Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xoxo

Dear Warren and Friends,

Last night, at 9:30 P.M. EST, my youngest brother called me to let me know he wanted to pick me up at 9 A.M. EST the next morning, to attend the family reunion.  Because of the last minute invite, I would not have food to bring to the event.  Amazingly, they have signs at the family reunion asking you to not eat other families food!  Never saw that in my life.  In my book, that means you are NOT part of this family. When they treat each other like that, how can I expect them to treat me well?  Reluctantly, I said yes.  Was up ALL NIGHT, and at 7 A.M. called my brother to cancel.  It was the only way I could respect myself!

It takes effort to PUT YOURSELF FIRST, and I STILL struggle to do so!

Yours truly,

Monica

Hiya Monica. With Sign's Like Those - Family, What Family ?  Monica Sweetheart, You are A Lovely, Kind-Hearted Lass.  They Do NOT Deserve You, Anyway !  You Know that You are amongst Friend's Here. I Would Be Proud to have You as a Sister !  You Take Care Monica. With Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xx

Doesnt matter if I respond or not, we've blocked eachother lol like I said, I have no contact with my family. And my friend defriended and blocked her as well so that whatever we share between eachother does not get viewed by my bio-family. I'm over them.

I dont need people like that in my life. The people I need are supportive and loving, and that's what I have. I dont need blood ties to appreciate my new family.

Hiya Warren. I think You have done exactly the right thing Young Man. As hard as it might sound, I don't think that blood is always thicker than water, when it comes to Families. Warren, I don't know if You saw what I put, on Saturday, about My Own Family, but, most of them, are just Not worth knowing, Full-Stop !  Warren, You, ARE Among Friends here, and We won't Judge You. I Am a Pre-Op. MtoF Transsexual Myself, so Who would I be, to Judge other People ?  Warren, if ever You Want a Chat, I Am About on here, a lot of the time. Monica is about a lot as well, so there will always be someone Who cares about You !  By the Way Warren, I did like the Blue Hair !  I Am 53, and My Hair, is still Naturally Dark Brown. But, I Will Grow Old "Disgracefully" ! L.O.L. !!!! Warren, Take Care Young Man. Speak Soon. With Very Best Wishes, Stephie. xoxo