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Validation or Continuous Fight



Hello all


This question is now running through my mind, when does validation turn into the continuous fight for acceptance?


Well, validation comes when you original start accepting yourself and other acknowledges this by using the correct pronoun's for you, and also accepts you for being yourself.  Or at least that is how I look at it.


The continuous fight for acceptance happens when resistance is felt by you that others can't accept you, and won't without a fight.  Almost when you know you have to poop, but know its going to be a painful hard fight to get the relief that you so dearly need.


Yes, me using poop has it's significance.  IBS, Incontinence, Diarrhea and other poopie things, like the smell, texture and how it makes you feel.  Well, that is how you feel each time you won a victory, and a new fight has come to the front line.  And yes, to you they smell bad and the thought of having to fight to expell them from your sight to silence or acceptance for the changes you have gone through.


Well research is my forte, so I'll just be that urethral infection that burns like a fire because I am getting exhausted from repeating the same fight.


Cheers for beautiful ladies and gentlemen




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Sorry that you're having to face all this crap, Michele. It sucks and it sounds like you feel very alone. We can't be there by your side physically but we are there spiritually. You do have friends here who care for you, accept you fully, and wish you peace and harmony.

Nice words, but only words. I wish I could offer more. Keep writing, keep up the good fight. 

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Hi Michele, yes, sorry life is so testing. I have been tickling the grey cells as Agatha Christie's Poirot says. May I suggest thinking of it as ownership. You own your own poo but you don't own other people's. Your walking along and you see some doggy poo. It's not yours so you have choices what to do. Taking ownershio for it doesn't leave you any choices than to sort it.

What I am trying to say is the same as Emma I think. Take ownership only for what is yours.

If I came home every day to a sink full of dirty dishes from my family. I could think they just leave these for me to wash and I have no choice but to wash them. I would feel very angry and shout you make me so angry.  If instead I said to myself, I feel really hurt that they leave the pots for me to wash I would have choices. Leave them, wash mine and put them on one side saying they are mine don't you dare use them, put them in the trash and say if you want a plate they are in the bin or that's it, I have had enough and I am leaving.

One is giving the power to control me away and make me angry. The other is keeping the power and ownership for my feelings giving me choices.

Hope this is helpful, if it's a load of poo, throw it down the loo. Whatever lots of love and I hope you soon feel more in control. X

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