This column is about my future, my past and whatever else comes in with it. Welcome to here and welcome to you! As I try to figure out the oldest of Man's questions, boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy finds out she is with another. This will naturally involve my dating history, my life and the present, all centred on the person I am enamoured with. The title is basically the spoiler of it all. The girl in question is a transsexual. She was born a boy and transitioned to being a girl. As such, names and identifying information will be hidden to prevent anyone from finding out who she is, because she is still "in the closet" and has not made herself generally known! Not that she has to tell you or me or anyone as if it is anyone's business. If you are privilege to be trusted to know her life story or even a part of it then respect her wishes. She does not need to be anyone's gossip. She is who she is and that is more than enough for me. Formation is a French word meaning learning, or training. The title is my learning about transitional people.
I will try to tell you about the things that are happening and my take on them. I have a vested interest here to protect that someone, so don't ask me identifying questions. Protecting her is more important than your questions. We live in Quebec, French and English speaking, she speaks French and I speak English! Two Solitudes by Hugh MacLennan, is a story of Quebec's language wars. It is frankly more of funny comment on my society when I was not in love with the girl from the other side of the wall. We work in shipping and transportation. Basically we move boxes for a living. We work in a warehouse for a company that you have never heard of. And the rest, well I feel no compulsion to tell the truth about anything that will identify her. I will try my best to say what is true and what a lie is. But anything that pinpoints anything to her is untrue.
I am a middle age white man with a university education. Why I am moving boxes? Part of that long story yet to come. I am heterosexual. This is not something you normally have to say. After all, are not all of us thus so? Of course not. But until this recently, it was not a question that I had to grapple with in anything but abstractions. Human rights good, gay pride good, Marriage equality act, sounds great to me as I flip the channel for more sports news. I don't watch sport news. You get the point. My life was not something that you would consider extra ordinary. As a white man, I live in the world of privilege, White privilege, male privilege, Heterosexual privilege and I am sure many other privileges that I am not even aware of. Such as being able bodied; another privilege that most overlook, but it is the most glaring of privileges that we are to over look. I am also a member of the elites. In this French province, I may speak English, but my last name is that of the elites of the land. If you have an English surname, you are not discriminated against exactly; you are just treated with suspicious as being an "Other" (Une Autre). Someone who is allowed into society but not quite allowed all the way in. The thousands of digs that he real elites tell themselves they are still superior and in charge. But just as republicans, Donald J Trump and the white Americans are presiding over there coming lost of majority status with absolutely no grace at all, so too in Quebec is the privilege of our French speaking elites who got off the boat with Champlain coming to an end. My ancestors also got of that boat too. He was a blacksmith or so I am told. The difference is, my parents sent me to be educated in English to embrace the world, whereas most elites here just teach their kids French and try to shun outside influences. It won't work, and it never has worked in the past. All too often someone will rip the curtains and allow in the sunlight.
Missing the metaphors? Read that again. Thanks.
I have written books, don't ask, you have never heard of them. I have a blog, which you have also never read. In fact, unlike this one, not even my mother is reading this one! It has a low readership and yet I keep writing. It’s not much but it is something that I do. You know, waiting for that day when something of mine sells into the best seller list. Until then I will keep experimenting and keep writing. Right now, this is my subject.
As I boil this all down, I come to the song by the Pursuit of Happiness, "She aint Pretty" paraphrased of course:
"Boy meets girls, Boy loses girl, and boy tries to figure out what went wrong."
In the end, that is what this is. A day by day blog of my life around her. And yes she is a she and I love her. The rest is mere details.
Here is my journey.