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Everything posted by Susane

  1. I've been wracking my brains for a better way to describe the clothes I have to wear for work. I don't like words such as: normal, usual, regular, male and so forth. They are not my usual clothes, I wear them for fewer hours in the day than my actual normal clothes. The phrase I have come up with is A.T.S.clothes. That means Acceptable To Society. I think it works, and trans men can use it as well! Does anyone else have a similar,or better, way to describe their A.T.S clothes? We could be about to get a new word into the Oxford English Dictionary. And once we have done that we are on the way to respectability! Xxx Susane.
  2. I came out to my estranged wife last Saturday. She was incredibly supportive and and understanding. She said I should be proud of myself.

    1. UsernameOptional


      Congrats, Susane. I'm glad sharing with your wife went well.

    2. tbirdgal


      How many times have I said being Trans is something to be proud of ?

  3. Susane


    When they dropped Gender Identity Disorder from the list they replaced it with Transvestite Fetishism (i think it's called) for no other reason than to have some trans* people under psychiatric supervision. In other words if you are cross dressed and ever become sexually aroused at the same time ( it does happen) you are suddenly a fetishist. Strange how hung up American Psychiatrists are. More than any others they see their role as making people fit into society rather than making people happy with the way they are.
  4. I'm coming out on Saturday. I can't sleep with the excitement. I can't wait. I'm sure there will be tears, mine and hers, and happiness I hope.

    1. UsernameOptional


      Good Luck, Susane, but I'm sure you'll do fine.

    2. Lori


      Best of luck to you Susane. :)

  5. Hi it's been a few weeks since I had the chance to sign in. I've had a lot of exciting things going on. I'm nearly full time now and I signed up to the transition support service. God I am so happy.

    1. UsernameOptional


      Congrats, Susane...and nice to see you around again. =)

    2. Lori


      Wonderful news. Glad to see you here. :)

    3. LynneaUrania


      Living as you truly are in a truly beautiful country like yours is heavenly. Blessings

  6. Just one thing Micheal. Julie hates people who DO come from money or have a college education. If you aren't self made then you are over privileged.
  7. I've followed Julie's career all my adult life, we are the same age. She used to be a really good social commentator. I didn't always agree with what she had to say but I never thought she was hateful. Somewhere along the way she went 'wrong', and became bit like a 'shock jock'. I spent most of yesterday writing to the editors, along with thousands of other people. I think this will mark a turning point in the battle against transphobia. A lot of fair minded, cis gender, people are honestly appalled. The Guardian/Observer is supposed to be a liberal paper famed for it's campaigning stance on human rights issues and it has stooped to publishing this! I used to buy it regularly but never will again while they employ Julie Birchill.
  8. I came out to my landlord today. He was totaly cool about it and told me his sonin New Jersey has a transgender FTM partner.

    1. Lori


      Wow, that's great!

    2. MsBeth


      Awesome Susane :)

  9. The doctor isn't being investigated. The complaints are being investigated. Their is a difference. Hopefully the complaints will prove groundless. The rumour in the UK is that rival doctors are trying to discredit him for some strange reason. Oddly enough the day before this story broke I was at a meeting of my trans-woman support group and one of the other women was saying what a good and understanding doctor Richard Curtis is and recommended that I give him a call.
  10. Susane

    Another call to Mom.

    I'm glad that you wont be going back to that well. Help given grudgingly is worse than no help at all.
  11. Susane

    Transgender Teacher Will Be Transitioning

    I listened to a radio phone in show and there were a lot of supportive comments from more open minded parents, saying that all that matters is that she is a good teacher!
  12. I telephoned the Gender Identity Clinic today. Now I just have to wait for my appointment! I am so excited!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. minyteTX


      Good luck Susane, I have my apt next month. I'm so looking forward to it.

    3. Susane


      It will take a while to come through. But I will keep pestering them.

    4. tbirdgal


      Damn Susane , I BET YA ARE !!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Today I went out with a trans friend to the National Museum in Edinburgh, Scotland. We met for coffee and a chat and chose the museum because it is about halfway between our two homes. I was delighted and relieved to find that some of the toilets are gender neutral, which as we all know makes avoiding conflict with the cis population so much easier. So if you are ever visiting Edinburgh and need to relieve yourself I can recommend the museum in Chambers Street. It's a good museum by the way and worth a visit anyway, and it's free to get in and the coffee's not bad either!
  14. I guess you should do exercise that doesn't involve your arms too much, like cycling. I suppose buying a Jane Fonda workout DVD (do they still sell those) or something similar might be the best thing. Or ask for an assessment at your gym, Tell them what you want.
  15. Susane

    Wonderful, Strange, Experience

    A few days ago I came home from work and as usual applied my make-up. Nothing unusual there, but as I was checking my lipstick I suddenly, how can I put this? I remembered myself. I had for a for a few minutes forgotten that I had another personality sharing this body. I was and had always been Susane (I will argue of course that I have always been Susane. I discovered my real name when I was five years old). It was as though the repetitive task of applying my make-up every day had hypnotised me and that I had never had another name, I was just another middle aged woman taking pride in her appearance. Of course once the thought occurred to me the feeling started to fade and my old life reasserted itself in my memory. Afterwards, however, I had a feeling of elation so powerful that it hasn't really faded completely a week later! I must just stress that I do not drink or take drugs and I am not on any medication or hormones! I think the elation came from the sheer joy that I had made a breakthrough in my transition, I had become unselfconscious. If you have learned to drive you know what it's like when you get to that moment where you stop thinking about which pedal to press to change gear and just do it, i think that's what has happened to me. All my life I have wanted Susan to take over the controls (to continue the driving analogy) and now I have. That's what the elation was, I have taken over, I am now always me and refer to my former name in the third person. For example the other day I went through his closet and threw out his clothes, leaving him just enough for work purposes and any occasion when he will absolutely need a suit. I wonder if this is a common experience? Has anyone been their true self for so long that the old, false self is nothing more than a memory? Susane Xxx.
  16. Susane

    Its getting kind of scary, but I am loving it!

    Hey Give it time for feed back Amber. We're all over the world and in different time zones. I find it interesting that you changed your eating habits. Same here, gave up beer and cigarettes as well, with no cravings or anything. Enjoy your heels when you get them. I love mine though I usually wear my flats when I'm walking, I'm a bit too tall for them to be practical but my flats are nice and go well with most of my skirts and jeans. I read your first blog. I reckon that although you say it was a sudden decision I wouldn't be surprised if you secretly knew, but were burying your true self way down deep inside. Welcome to the TG Guide sister, you will get a lot of support and advice. go on the forums and don't be shy to ask any questions. There is a lot of wisdom here. Xxx Susane.
  17. Susane

    Running away from the fuzz!

    After almost a lifetime of hating it I finally got the nerve to start removing my facial hair on a permanent basis. I have always wanted to get rid of my facial hair, but like many others, I guess, it always seemed like a bigger step than getting my legs, chest, etc waxed. After all that grows back after a while and if you discover that you are not as trans* as you thought then no permanent changes are apparent. Of course getting rid of a few hairs is not as big a deal as GRS but it is a visible change! Ever since puberty I have heard about electrolysis and been fascinated as to where you get it done and how do you even find someone who has had it done for advice (I have spent most of my life pre-internet). Also as a child I don't think my parents would have signed the consent form or stumped up the cash! Even as a young teenager I would shave my body hair, I come from the Planet of the Apes it seems, but I have never been able to get my face clean shaven. So roll forward a few decades and I find myself living in Edinburgh, Scotland. I now have the internet and after years of uncertainty as to why I have always been drawn to wearing what society calls 'women's clothes' I have now learned about words like transgender and dysphoria, so I realized that to have any level of inner happiness I would have to be true to myself and admit that I am a trans* woman. Whenever I say that I feel so happy, and also a little sad that I didn't come out years ago. Anyhow, I was fed up with shaving my legs and getting razor rash on my chest so I looked online and found a trans* friendly waxing salon not ten minutes drive from my apartment. I had had a couple of waxing's, when I asked Sam, the therapist, what the machine in the corner was for. She explained that it was a Intense Pulse Light machine, a kind of laser for removing hair. When I asked if it worked on facial hair I was expecting to be told that It only worked on genetic female hair, I was half expecting disbelief that I would want it done. Instead Sam just told me to go away and think about it for a few days. When I went for my first appointment I must admit I was having second thoughts, and very nearly didn't ring the doorbell. But I knew that if I didn't do it now I never would and would always regret it! I had to have a skin test the day before so I knew what to expect, but the real thing is painful. It is like touching your skin with a hot wire. Luckily the pain only lasts a second while the 'gun' is touching your skin, but I couldn't help jumping a little bit each time. It was the anticipation as much as anything. I am now waiting for the results to start to become visible. Apparently the hair will start to fall out after ten to twenty days, then when it starts to grow again I will get the next session. It takes about six in all, maybe a couple more if the hair is stubborn! What I am looking forward to most is not having a semi permanent red face from having to shave twice a day, and of course looking that little bit more feminine. (For younger readers when I was a teenager we called the police the Fuzz, I consider my facial hair to be a gender policeman, trying to keep me in my prison cell)
  18. Susane

    Running away from the fuzz!

    I'm starting to see results thanks Amanda.
  19. I don't like vicious dogs. But if you promise to lock them up I'll come for a long, long visit. And if I win the lottery you can stay at mine!
  20. Thats a good idea Michael. A soccer referees whistle will be perfect! And handy if I'm ever asked to be a referee.
  21. Sad to say Ellen, but I do know that keys are a potential weapon. I've never had to use them, but casually jangling them let's others know you have them, a bit like a rattle snake giving a warning! Amanda I think you are right. If you dress age and situation appropriate, you tend to blend in. If you were walking in a national park dressed like Lady Gaga you would get looked at. I wonder if new-comers to our countries look at us and think that that's just how these crazy westerners act! A bit like when westerners go to Asia and think that The Lady Boys of Bangkok are what everyone does .
  22. Just had chocolate brownie flavoured drinking chocolate. Perhaps there is a God after all!

    1. tbirdgal


      Good ole Yahoo choclate drink !

    2. UsernameOptional


      Heh-heh-hehhhhhhh... good stuff =D

  23. I guess it wont matter what you look like if you happen to find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time? Thugs and bullies just love to hurt someone, anyone! But if you happen to be a little different they are more likely to spot you! Take Ellen's (tbirdgal) advice about parking in well lit areas. I keep my car keys in my hand in case of a quick getaway. I try to park close to the door as well! On that cheery note, have fun sister. And as they used to say in Hill Street Blues 'be careful out there!'
  24. I don't want to be anti-police, I know that most are honest in the face of the most stressful job imaginable, but I can not recall a time when an officer was convicted for assaulting or even killing a member of the public. In the UK they just take 'early retirement'. To be fair I'm glad to say my local force has regular sessions with my support group and advise on things like harassment and staying safe etc.