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About JenniferEver

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  • Birthday 11/29/1968

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    Writing, reading (all sorts), musical composition, drawing, biking, hiking, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, personality theory, MMOs (such as WoW), Lost, ... and strong coffee!

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  1. Happy Birthday Jennifer!

  2. Oh... Happy Birthday too!

  3. Would love to hear how you're doing. (hugs)

  4. SRS w/ Chett on 11/12/11

    1. Lori
    2. UsernameOptional


      Hey Jennifer...nice surprise to see you signed in today. Congratulations on your surgery. I hope all went well -Michael

    3. MsBeth


      Congratulations!! it's getting close, I was a bundle of nerves at that point :)

  5. JenniferEver

    New Forum Update

    Wow. I gotta say I am not here much, but out of just about all the websites I'm on nowadays, this interface is so open, clean, and loaded with stuff. Usually "modernized" forums gets cluttered, but this is "clean" -- I really really like it.
  6. Hey, I started taking spiro for three months before seeing the endo officially (he kept me on that and added estradiol). Yes, I noticed lots of changes in the first few months before estrogen. The skin sensivity and boob/nipple sensitivity was one of the most obvious. Don't fret over it, it seems par for the course. I was amazed at how sensitive my body got. And it gets even more intense on estro. btw, if you are doing electrolysis, it might not hurt while you're not on hormones, but it will probably hurt worse and worse with increased hormone dosages; if you can get painkillers and numbing creams prescribed by your doc, you should. It can be pretty brutal. As far as the rest goes, I think we each make a choice for ourselves. We decide whether the risk and possible anxieties of transition outweigh not transitioning. We live with the results of our decisions. If someone decides it's not worth the risk, then good: Enjoy your life. If someone decides it is, then good as well: Enjoy your life. The common denominator? Enjoy your life. When I started transition, I was 6'0 with a size 46-48 men's jacket, and I weighed 240 pounds. I am still 6' tall and weigh above 200 pounds, although my top has shrunk from a 2x woman's to sometimes a 1x. I do not look as big as I am, in some ways, people tell me I inhabit a "smaller" and skinnier space, most people would probably think me about 180lbs. I am big enough, though, that I still have anxiety over going out. I hate being the tallest woman around, I feel like people stare at me sometimes... and yet I know most of the negativity is in my head. Probably much of the time they're looking at my height, not wondering about my gender. Still, it's a price I will have to pay because I made the choice to transition, and sometimes I can still get anxious in public, I *really* am self-conscious and can't stand the idea that people might be looking at me and judging (which sometimes makes me antsy at work)... ... but you know what? It was worth it. Life before was utter misery and I was done living. Now I like who I am and can look in the mirror, at last. Enjoy your choices, Ashlee. Enjoy your life. :)
  7. VEry nice, Katie -- you have a cute face, and that's a cool top. :)
  8. I don't think it's about that. Conservative Christians don't really think God likes people to be born with deformities or to get cancer or for wars to occur or for people to be unhappy with their marriages or whatever else. The basic gist is that they work backwards: They start with the belief that transition or trans behavior is an abomination, therefore God doesn't approve of it and it must be sinful, and therefore since God is a good God, he offers ways to change or will allow people to change if they repent, regardless of what their natural inclinations might be. It's about controlling one's behavior and then hopefully evoking a change in the heart if "you just don't do it anymore" or via some miraculous transformation. It's not about whether it's fair for people to be born with trans inclinations. (And most of the time they opt for the environmental model of trans development anyway, which aligns better with their desire to believe it's a behavior and thus a choice, rather than inborn.) If you want to find people who start with collecting evidence from life experience and the world and then build a perspective based on that, do not go to religiously minded folks: They start with their value/doctrinal statements, then fit the world and their experiences INTO it, not the other way around. * * * * My experiences with the church are getting interesting. I never came full out in my church. I left for religious reasons mostly (I realized I didn't believe much of what the outspoken people in my church believed and despite how much I did love them, I was too psychologically weak to be in that situation without withering). About the time I left was also about the time I no longer felt shame before God in being trans. I felt released and accepted by God and I felt like he was accessible again. So I don't know what furor would have arisen in that congregation, which was growing with families in their 30's and younger, from a mix of unchurched, discplaced Catholic, and evangelical background. Since I was very prominent (people still occasionally send me stuff to ask me to come back, if they don't know my situation; or they talk about how much they miss my musical gifts), I was very afraid it would rip the place apart... and that would be especially bad with my kids and spouse still going there and being involved. I know some people have said stupid judgmental things to my wife; I chalk most of it up to ignorance. THe few people who really knew me, who I went to for friendship as well as trusted spiritually, didn't really blink an eye when I told them. They all basically said, "THis is bigger than us to be able to judge, we can't tell whether you're doing the right or wrong thing and it's none of our business anyway; we love you and know your heart and that it's good and how much you have fought to take care of the people in your life; we don't know what this means for the future; we will pray for you and your family; please don't stop talking to us." This past week I saw the one couple after months of missing each other, and they saw pics of me as Jen and said I was welcome in their house no matter what I looked like, they're very supportive. So I don't know what people would ACTUALLY believe if it came out publicly and hard lines have to be drawn. I don't like being that much in the middle, though, or cause disrest. My point also, I suppose, is that even in a religious congregation, the beliefs are not uniform. The more vocal people tend to dominate just because they have loud mouths and don't mind conflict; but I think even in the church itself people are not taking the hard conservative line as much as it seems, if it comes up in their personal lives. It's also easy to judge someone you don't know; once you know them, you realize how much more complicated it all is.
  9. Hair systems are a (more expensive) option too but with better results. I will be looking more into them in the next few months. In-house consultations are good too, if you want hair that matches your face and skin coloration. As far wig styles, there are a few places online that do "virtual makeup/hair" for you. I have an account at MakeoverSolutions.com, where you can upload a photo of your face and "try out" lots of wigs and TONS of actual brand names and shades of makeup. Short of doing it physically, I have found it very helpful for hair and cosmetics testing. Human hair or a human hair / synthetic blend seem to be the better way to go. Purely synthetic wigs can sometimes look fake, the light hits them a different way... at least the longer ones. There are lots of different types of caps now too, that look like scalp through the part of the wig. I talked to Clare at WigGoddess.com too some already, online. She's dealt with T people (has a few T friends) and seems very enthusiastic and warm even though I did not get quite as much information as I had hoped online from her. She might be able to give some good advice too.
  10. Someone's thinking about us! LANSING, Mich. - Gov. Jennifer Granholm has issued an order that bars discrimination against state workers based on their "gender identity or expression," which protects the rights of those who behave, dress or identify as members of the opposite sex...
  11. Have you ever had the experience of moving through a cool lake on the surface, and suddenly you'll feel a warm pocket of water, a place where the sun heated it up unexpectedly? And then once you move another few steps, you are back in a spot where the water turns chill again? That's what this all feels like to me. I move in some circles and literally everyone I meet is decent about the whole thing, and supportive. And then I go some other place (for example, the messages boards at Oprah.com) and find a bunch of complete transphobic clueless wonders who don't even realize how offensive and ignorant they truly are. It's like "like" gravitates to "like"; all the lampreys and leeches and bottom-feeders group together, basking in their ignorance, and there is not much to do but swim to another location where they're vacated and only good fish are trundling about.
  12. In general, I am learning to not even waste my time refuting or complaining about thoughtless people like this. I just don't have enough energy. When he's willing to make a coherent statement, argument, or something more than a purely venemous opinion, then perhaps he'd be worth the time. There's nothing there to even respond to.