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About this blog

This blog is dedicated to telling those who read the entries about my journey in hopes that something can be learned. 

Entries in this blog

The aftermath

So in my last entries I focused on assisting a trans person through SRS/GRS/GCS (pick one). They ended up with Rectovaginal fistula. So after the initial surgery they stayed in the hospital for a week, back home for a week, back to the hospital for repairing the botched surgery, stayed there a week. On top of this they were discharged to a recovery company for at least a week. So there are plenty of these surgeries done each year, some overseas and here. A common factor for most is "I need this
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Healthier life style.

First off, wish I’d thought of this earlier in life yet there is no bad time to start. I’ve been coloring my hair from dark brunette to blonde to dirty blonde and the consequences were thinning of hair but no hair loss (thank goodness). Decided it was time to combat the issue with vitamins and several hair mask and conditioners. It’s been one month now and have seen noticeable difference is the health of my hair. Downside is on the weekend I spend an hour dedicated to pampering my hair. I’ve a
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Transformation will it solve your problems?

Several months ago I wrote about a person who had a botched surgery where the outcome was rectovaginal fistula. My part was simply support prior to surgery and assist if needed with dilation processes. Well after just over a week out of the hospital I pretty much ended my involvement with her as she was taken back in for corrective surgery and have not spoke to her. Last night at a bar, several cross-dressers met, we were having a great time then she walked in, sat down, we all said hello. She d
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Great weekend

This past weekend I spent with a group like minded people who love driving Mazda Miata's. Friday we drove what the average person would consider a dangerous drive where in 19 miles there are 170 turns where the majority are marked at 20 MPH and we took them a good deal faster (the fastest was 70 MPH and the average was 45 MPH). Friday evening we have a group dinner with about 120 people. Saturday we drove two drives, one in the morning and one in the afternoon (Friday's drive was an all day even
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

The current landscape

With the elections over and seeing many in the transgender community worried what it's going to be like with the new president which really nobody can say for sure it might be prudent to consider worst case scenarios. If I didn't have a passport this would be a wake up call to obtain one as at the current time for some it turns out to be difficult and in the future it may be even more difficult. Medical needs and prescriptions, what can happen is of course unknown but consider worst case, those
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Thoughts on passing (again)

I’ve recently joined a closed group on Facebook where the majority of male to female members will post pictures of themselves and ask if they pass physically. Just about every since member who post and ask if they are passable indeed passable.  Having been on this journey would like to offer a small piece of advice which is forget about passing physically and focus on your female voice. When I or any heterosexual male or female encounters a female without thinking “are they really female” expect
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Looking back on 2016

Reflecting back on the year 2016 I've very pleased with the decisions I've made and new friendships made. Now it's time to see what happens as hormones progress changes to my physical and mental attributes as most know as years go by hormones tend to incrementally change one's behaviorism and I have noticed in the past several months a noticeable change not per-say in moods but how I react to things and events that several years ago I would had reacted totally different than today. Thinking abou
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Q&A: MVP Karen Payne Talks With Us About Being A Transgender Woman In Tech

Several years ago I was asked to speak at Microsoft on "Diversity and Inclusion in the workplace". They wanted my perspective as a Microsoft MVP (Most Valued Professional) being transgender in the tech field. Only a handful at Microsoft knew I was transgender when I would meet with them but my lead at Microsoft asked me to participate and I said yet. From that I did the Diversion and Inclusion speech with a panel which then moved to me being interviewed (which was the second time, first time was
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

My new job

Four years ago, my company decided to implement a canned solution for the business which meant after the four-year process those (like me) developers that were not part of the migration from old systems to new systems would be placed into a very different position with the same pay, extremely easy work. Sounds great unless you’re like me, not into easy work. So I emailed the CIO of a sister company asking if they had any positions open? Side note, she knew me as a male when she worked in my comp
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Time passes

It's been away since visiting this site and would have been longer accept for getting several email messages for posts I have subscribed too. The main reason for not being here is life is good and with nearly three years post-op I go months without even thinking about transgenderism. It use to be a daily thought because is took time for my new life to settle in. What's not to like? Well when out in the backcountry of Oregon with the Miata club I drive with when there are no port-a-pott
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Your on candid camera

When a person cross dresses and in the closet they don't want to be found out. The person sneaks out dressed or goes out in their cisgender clothing and changes someplace else. Having this know for those who sneak out from their home an an opportune time have you considered neighbors with surveillance monitors/cameras? Of course not knowing circumvents sneaking out where this may or may not matter depending on the climate in their area, are neighbors okay with this or not and if not is ther
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

1

Dealing with law enforcement

I have was not always smart when going out in female mode in that I would wear clothing that the average female would not in a specific locale i.e. high heels and a short shirt when out for a stroll and would indeed draw attention to myself from all works of life in my younger days. From lots of reading on Internet forums it would appear I was not alone with these dressing habits. What turned me around was enlisting the service of a consultant that schooled me in how to dress and feel good about
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Permanent cosmetics

Many years ago, I made a fatal mistake of plucking my eyebrows and did a horrible job in that when still moving between male to female then back to male looked bad in male mode but looked good in female mode. November of last year I researched permanent cosmetics for my eyebrows. The research began with a fair amount of time looking at pictures of woman who had their eyebrows done followed by researching who to check out and discuss my needs. At the end of last October, I had a list of five p
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Awesome friend and acquaintances

For years, I dated a woman, which I felt a strong attraction too beginning in 2007, but never told her about my female identity. Well in 2009 I gave her a call (she lives 40 minutes from me and I needed to do it right now) thinking that there was roughly a 70 percent chance you would accept me and was scared for the remaining 30 percent. I came right to the point for my call and told her that I was transgender and made my mind up to have SRS in the coming years. I was happy to learn she was f
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Personal protection part 1

My life lessons started early on from confrontations on the streets of Philadelphia with no formal training. I looked into various forms of martial arts through the years and found that not one was all-inclusive for real confrontations. Another thing about sticking just simply martial arts in general is that they are classroom based, what I call a close environment as appose to an open environment where you are in street clothes, placed in real life situations. Closed environment training is usu
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

At the movies

I went to see Lone Survivor at one of the local movie theaters this afternoon dressed appropriate for the weather in a black skirt, white top and ankle boots. While waiting in line at the ticket counter to retrieve my debt card from my handbag I noticed two American Express cards and no debt card. Up to that point I was fully composed but then waves of hot flashes started, where my debt card was, do not want to use my AMEX card. So I stepped out of line to search my handbag and the debt card is
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Physically preparing for GRS

To prepare physically for GRS I decided to stop eating any fast food and only eat fresh veggies and meat purchased the same day I consume it. Running on a NordicTrack at home, lifting lightweights, slamming a punching bag for tone. To be honest out of the past three months devoid of fast food I do not feel any healthier but have notice I am constant in bowel movements. Lastly, I only drink coffee and water. I had elective surgery in 2010 and 2011 were I did the same thing and healed up quick
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Electrolysis today

At my electrolysis appointment this morning (still have another this afternoon) we chatted about something which I think is worth passing on. Have my legs and under arms waxed so there are no worries about shaving (yeah it would bother me). She set me up for waxing two days before leaving for California for maximum results. Another thing is that I have used two different women for electrolysis and both use a standard padded board to lie on. This works fine for 98% of areas on the body but whe
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

K-Y Jelly

I was never told how much K-Y Jelly was needed for after surgery but went out looking at 4oz bottles and noticed they were all over $5 each. Last night while at the grocery store shopping for food decided to see what K-Y Jelly cost there, just over $5 but one shelve down was a store brand which I trust for other medication was $2.10 per bottle. Yep, I grabbed all six bottles, which I get an email back from Marci’s office indicating 6 was plenty. I will be going back to the store today to see if
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Be vigilent tonight

We all know all to well that there are people that do not understand gay, lesbian and transgender people. With that said I consider New Year's Eve a time when you just might come in contact with them and if so there is always the chance of what I call "Gang/Group Mentality" where one person may start something and others will join in that would not normally join in if not in a group. Even though I am highly trained things can still go sideways, my guess is most people here are not highly trai
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Disclosure

Until present I have told two former girlfriends that I was transitioning and now have disclosed this just now to another one. The interesting thing is, each of these woman have stayed friends with me ranging from 14 years to eight years since we broke up. I am very fortunate to have these woman remain in my life. On a comical note, each of them want to go see me soon after I have recovered from surgery and also two of them want to take me out shopping for clothes while the other one has d
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Muilti-tasking

I have the hospital food service phone in left ear, cell phone in right ear, staring at my iPad and the nurse comes in, her facial expression was priceless when she saw me lol.
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Feminine pads

I always get up at the crack of dawn (well actually way before) and my mind is fully operational. This morning what was racing through my mind Look at Microsoft Outlook calendar, when did I last take pain-killer (range is take one every four to six hours), well I slept six hours so this is a no-brainer but I can not stress enough that if you go thru this to document when meds were taken and for some may want to create alerts for when the next times are. So my cephalexin is also on alerts.
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

Today

When done here take a nap then walk to the mall down the street. Have checked with the front desk, they will pick me up if for any reason I am unable to make it back. Come back, do my meds and clean up followed by another nap. I am taking extra pads and water with me. Best thing here is exercise for better recovery. :D While at the mall I walked by a nail salon, backed up and had my nails done with shellac. I feel better after having them done which was partly why I went out, exercis
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

0

No picnic

Check out my No picnic entry, perhaps one of my most important entries where I write about being overwhelmed when thinking back on yesterday. I will state I am fine, just wanted others to see what I went through which in many ways more then the day of surgery. http://karenpayneblog.com/2015/02/03/no-picnic/
KarenPayne

KarenPayne

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