11/27/2014
I was up late the night before talking to my sister more about what I've been going through these past two and a half months. She just listened, didn't ask many questions. Looking back I wonder if I kind of lost her in the conversation. But I let her know what I'm feeling inside, some of the things that I talked to the therapist about. And let her know that if I don't get on top of this, I will probably need to transition. I think she understands but did not know what to think. I'm
11/24/2014
So, we left to go to my mom's in Perrysburg OH. I was thinking about bringing some of my girl clothes with me but did not. As we left, I felt a tremendous amount of anxiety. Never felt this way before and don't know why. It's almost like I felt like I did not have that outlet if I needed it. However it felt much more than that.
Anyways, the trip went well. Though most of the time I thought about what I was going to tell my mom regarding my current situation. She knows about me d
11/22/2014
Today I was 100% feeling female and thinking about it. It was distracting but since I didn't need to work or doing anything it was okay.
I talked to my wife about my appointment with the therapist and going to the support group and mentioned that she recommended that I go out dressed as much as I need to meet others like me and get the support that I need. I told her that if I cannot get on top of this soon, I will need to transition. This was upsetting, and I knew that it would
11/20/2014
I had a better day than the rest of the week. I definitely felt more connected to being male.
So, what I noticed when I was younger, was that stress would trigger feelings of wanting to dress or be female. But lately, it is the opposite. When I feel stress, I want to retreat to my male role. In my mind, being female increases the stress level. And I think that it is because I am seriously considering a transition.
Anyways, I did have some big stressors that triggered this rea
Today went much better. I had my moments but I was able to finally focus on work somewhat. I feel like I am putting on such an act all around it's crazy. But at least I wasn't going crazy or out of my mind.
Anyways, I was contacted again by the therapist who closed her practice. She referred me to two people. I called one to set up an appointment after doing some research. I'll do more tonight.
Last night I talked with my wife more. I told her more about myself. And dressing when I was muc
11/17/2014
So out of the last two months, Monday had to be the worst gender - identity day for me. It was a crisis. Very distracting at work. I was sick to my stomach all day. Did not sleep well. All and all, not a good day to be a guy for me.
I did ride the metro in. I am a big people watcher, so looking at all of the girls dressed to go to work made me think that I should be them. So, for me (just to let you know) this is no fantasy. I am extremely realistic about what I will encounter t
Introduction
Hello my name is Lisa. I am a transgendered mtf. I've wanted to be female since I was 4 years old which was long time ago. I literally started dressing at 4 years old in preschool. They had womens dress up clothes. Their were no issues when I was the only one that wanted to dress up. But when I convinced all of the boys in the class to do it, those girly clothes just vanished.
Later in first grade I wanted to be in Brownies but was soundly rejected in front of class, which was
