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Finding Lisa

A blog by LovelyLisa in General

  • Entries

    57

  • Comments

    151

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    27,655

About this blog

MTF currently transitioning to living full-time. Started HRT on 4/18/2015.

Entries in this blog

Week of 12/15/2014

Not really much going on with me. Over the two week period, I was extremely busy trying to get things ready for the holidays and finishing things up at work. I am very much on the fence about transitioning. The break is going to give me time to really think about it and pray about it. I've been thinking and dealing with this for a long time. It will not go away. What I fear is that if I don't transition or at least structure my life so that there are significant periods of time that I can expres

Update

Happy Friday everyone. I hope that all of you had a good week. I am finishing up the first week on Spironolactone. So far I haven't really noticed much. I feel better, but I don't think it is because of the medication, it is more about starting HRT. I had electrolysis and "touch up" laser. I think that I doubled the pain with that approach. I'm going to try to do both again in two weeks. But if it is too much, I'll schedule separate appointments. The electrolysis wasn't too bad. She mos

11/21 - 11/22/2014

11/20/2014 I had a better day than the rest of the week. I definitely felt more connected to being male. So, what I noticed when I was younger, was that stress would trigger feelings of wanting to dress or be female. But lately, it is the opposite. When I feel stress, I want to retreat to my male role. In my mind, being female increases the stress level. And I think that it is because I am seriously considering a transition. Anyways, I did have some big stressors that triggered this rea

11/22 - 11/23/2014

11/22/2014 Today I was 100% feeling female and thinking about it. It was distracting but since I didn't need to work or doing anything it was okay. I talked to my wife about my appointment with the therapist and going to the support group and mentioned that she recommended that I go out dressed as much as I need to meet others like me and get the support that I need. I told her that if I cannot get on top of this soon, I will need to transition. This was upsetting, and I knew that it would

Holidays, Closure and Looking Ahead to 2016

Had another good week. I feel like a survivor but I want to be more than that. This week I closed out a project that I had led for almost 2.5 years. It was extremely difficult and often went from one crisis to the next. Unfortunately, several of us paid a price personally because of this project. We either suffered due to the personalities that we were subject to or had to make extreme personal sacrifices in order to be successful. Several of us had mental breakdowns because it would be too much

Update

I have my therapy appointment tomorrow. I am also traveling out of town to visit my mom in Ohio from DC. I may stop by the Keystone Conference on Thursday and stay the night. I don't know. I would kind of like to see what it is all about. I may register to go for the entire thing next year. Not much has happened in the last two weeks since I have posted, I am still in crisis mode, prone to cry or being depressed. I feel like I am not being me or presenting as I feel I am. It is getting to the

Week of 2015-01-19

This week has been really tough focusing at work really busy with no outlet for me. I feel trapped and terrible. I've been drinking too much and not dealing with things well. Something has to change. Anyways. That has been my week in a nutshell. 100% doing things I don't want to do, yet I feel like I have no choice. I am planning on having a talk with my wife. But I have a feeling that it will not go particularly well. Usually she asks how I am doing and we talk about it. But not in the pa

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