I'm not happy. I don't mean I'm having a bad day. I mean in life all around. I don't get it either. I have all my needs met, and several luxuries. So what's wrong with me? I have someone in my life that (hopefully) loves me. I have food in my house, clean water, a roof over my head, and clothes on my back. So what's missing? I've always hated life. That much I know. For as long as I can remember, I've said "I don't know who I pissed off to deserve being here, but I'm sure as hell gonna make sure
I feel a bit strange, weird, different (whatever you want to call it) when I come here. I'm more misanthropic than you can know. I absolutely despise the human race. But here at this forum it's different. I've grown to care a great deal for the people here. I feel for the first time in my life that I have an extended family of people who care for me as well. But I don't know how to process it. Also I'm sitting here waiting for it to all come crashing down, like everything else in my life has. Wh
Depression or sadness? Well there's a huge difference between the two. Sadness sucks. Maybe your favorite team lost the championship. Maybe your family said your meatloaf sucked. Maybe you're just having an off day. It's ok to cry. Let it out. Don't let anyone laugh at you for crying.
Depression is beyond. Depression is an emotional disorder. The sufferers feel those things all day every day. They have no hope for tomorrow. They have no hope for today. They don't have the ability to get out
Some years ago, before I met my wife, I was homeless. I spent 3 years on the street with nowhere to go. I lived in an old abandoned feed mill. My egg donor and female DNA match only lived a few blocks from me, but neither would take me in. During that time I was alone. Virtually. Where I was staying there was an old pile of sawdust and grain. It was about 6 feet high and probably about 12 feet wide. There was a colony of rats living in it. I would say close to 100 there. I knew that they would t
I hope this one turns out long. There's not enough good things I can say about her.
In 2004 I lived in a tiny craphole apartment. It was in a rundown part of a dead town, in a rundown building. I was single and on disability. The landlords accepted section 8 housing so my rent was lowered from $350 to $160. I had internet which was $50 and cable TV which was another $50. All the utilities like power, water, sewer, etc were included in the rent so my total monthly bills were only $260
This one is long so You'll need some time to read it all.
I grew up in a small area. The town I originally lived in has less than 300 people. Well technically I didn't live in town I lived in the country, but screw semantics. I don't know why, but I was the one the family hated. I'm not exaggerating when I say hated. They reminded me daily how much they hated me. The first thing I remember about the abuse is my uncle. When I was 2, and still in diapers, he threw me into an above grou
I'm posting this in the hopes that it may help someone.
I've talked a little bit about the type of upbringing I had. It was not a pleasant one. When I was 18 I went thru 2 traumatic events within a day and a half of each other. After being abused my whole life and then that, I snapped. I started getting high. At first it was small stuff. Grass mainly. Then that didn't cut it. So I started doing other things. Blow, angel dust, acid, x, and many other things. I even tried molly and bla
