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About this blog

So I tend to blog on Wordpress on a Monday, if you want to kind of catch up with my brain from the start than that is the place to go: (https://wordpress.com/pages/ironicissues.wordpress.com)

For those who just do not have the time!

I am Dee, I live in a very rural part of Scotland, I started questioning my gender after going to a Halloween D&D party last year as a female character and realising at the end of the night that I did not want to take the costume off! Cue lots of searching and questioning and eventually I understood that I do not fit with the description of cis-gender. I do not emotionally or socially identify with the gender I was assigned at birth, so I concluded that I must be Trans - although I am still asking questions as I try and decide what to do with the information!

Entries in this blog

Birthday Blog

I am on my own for birthday, my son was down the road watching his mum remarry and he and my daughter will come to mine for a week tomorrow. I have spent most of this week staying in the house but my toenails are baby blue, my fingernails were sparkly until yesterday and are now coated in clear varnish, but cut back dow. The whole week I have been able to dress as myself and it has been wonderful.   Yesterday I told one of my other long term friends that I am trans. He was gobsmacked b
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee

3
Mood

Being Seen

I often wonder whether or not I am doing the right thing The realisation and accpetance that I am trans and living and moving in the wrong social circles has stopped a lot of the huge feelings of self doubt and uncertainty that I have lived with for most of my life. I know that transitioning for me is not because I could not continue to live the way I am now. I have always found a way to keep on placing one foo
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee in Mood

0

Another interesting dream

My dream self seems to have more fun than I do!   I have spent all day considering whether it was worth sharing or not, but as I am trying to journal my whole experience any dream that deals with transgender as an issue in any form is worth writing about.   This was a pretty positive dream though, I woke up feeling flushed and decidedly positive - a feeling which has stayed with me all day.   In my dream I had gone to a retreat that also offered some sort of therapy
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee

3

Am I your type?

I do not mean it in that way before anyone panics. I just like the play on words...     I was just reading a blog by someone who identified themselves as an INFJ woman - a lot of what she wrote made sense, and the 3 times I have done Meyers Briggs I have always been INFP.  Sometimes I drift a little but it comes as no surprise, given the emotional turmoil I have gone through in the last 6 months I thought I would give it a go and see where I classify - I took maybe 3 minutes to answer
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee

7

Am I really that fickle?

I have been feeling very down recently.  I know that the main reason is my daughter moving away with her mum but it means that I have been feeling letheragic and flat and have not done any self care whatsoever. This morning I woke up choked with a cold and decided while listening to the rain that I was not going to push myself and do my Saturday morning 5k, instead I got up and effectively have been pampering myself. I put on some cheesy tunes from spotify and shaved my legs and arms, my ch
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee

15

A very Happy New Years

In Scotland I think Hogmanay is a bigger celebration than Christmas.  There are ceilidh dances, street parties and house parties up and down the nation and the government encourages it because the ridiculous amount of alcohol that gets consumed is backed up by the fact that both the 1st and 2nd of January are considered public holidays. It has been quite a few years since I have gone out on New Years, this year there were some tentative plans made with friends, but they fell by the wayside
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee

2

A melancholy moment

Just had a really bizarre moment.   I agreed to sign up to an endurance race with my nephews and sister next March - it is a 10 mile race, at night - up and down the Scottish hills - quite mad and quite fun. As a part of the entry I had to fill in the usual ID form and for the first time in my life I genuinely hesitated at the male or female question.  I have been happily filling in forms for most of my life without any qualms whatsoever. It actually made me tear up a little
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee

3

...and now you can relax...

* Just a quick content warning that this post is a candid one about a recent personal funeral experience*   Today is a quiet day, I have spent the last hour just sitting and watching some of my favourite female comedians on "Live at the Apollo" as youtube has suggested and auto played one after the other. I did not start out doing that but it was good to laugh.   In my work I have to walk a line of professionalism and caring, one you learn how to do and the other you either d
ScottishDeeDee

ScottishDeeDee

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