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Last weekend, my spouse went to a city about 3 hours away from where we live, to break the story of my transition to her mother. Her mum is 90 plus years old. We had delayed the announcement for several moths since the poor lady is so old that she may have perished before the announcement became necessary. My spouse, lovingly, calls her every Sunday to speak with her and cheer her up. It was getting a bit old referring to me in my former gender. After facial feminization surgery, there's no goi
Well to begin with, i always felt like there was something different about me. When i was young i would sometimes look in the mirror and wonder what it was like to be a girl, but at the time i didn't give it much more thought than just "what if". When i started going to middle school i was paying a little more attention the the girls clothes. I remember thinking "why don't they make stuff that pretty for us"? Puberty went by pretty much unnoticed. Not sure if that's normal for some TG's but no r
Fear and unacceptance: ingredients for a poisonous coctail.   As some here know, I came out to three people some time back: my girlfriend, my brother and my mother. My girlfriend was in shock, and things were a little rocky for a while. Not because she discovered that I was TG/TS, but that I had been lying to her (our relationship began online). Prior to coming out to anyone, I "lived my online life" as a man. No one knew that I was trans, no one knew that I wasn't just another guy - i
{A Word to the Wise: the last time I wrote a blog was for a class about the Social Net in which we read Gregory Ulmer and were introduced to his "puncept;" therefore, I apologize in advance for my frequent use of puncepts in my writing. And while we're on that topic, I apologize for my terrible writing, period.} I suppose this is my introduction, and despite my ability to write a mean essay (present thesis excluded), I'm really rather horrible at writing about myself. Anyway, I imagine tha
  • Anndy
I awoke with a fervor the next morining anticipating my next move, when would I have a chance to talk to her? I grabbed a pair of my undies and carried them with me all through class and therapy. Finally, during the late afternoon around a half-hour before dinner I got my chance to talk to her. I asked her if we could talk down by the slide where no one was playing. She warily agreed and we proceeded to walk by the rest of the playing children. My heart was racing and I was nervous, screwing up
This article is originally published in The Ladyboy Mirror (http://ladyboymirror.com/2012/07/02/keeping-up-appearances/) another site of mine There are times that I would be consumed of fear. This fear is coming from worrying of what other people might say or think. I have lost (or I thought I have lost this trait already which was always consuming me before my transition period. That fears and worries have made me change my extreme feministic mannerism into pretending-to-be cool guy, bald+be
I have sat here wondering, "should I write this story, and, will anyone actually believe it?" Well, here I am making a start, and hopefully, a finish at some later date. And, if you believe it or not, is not something that I can control. All I can say is, its true, every word. No matter how dramatic, or, how much like an Hollywood movie it may seem like. This is a true story, written as it actually happened. And this blog, is by no means, the whole story. But maybe I will get around to that late
I wrote this some time back as a letter to many of my friends on Facebook to clue them in on who I am. I also wrote it as an encouragement to anyone else that may be traveling the same road I am. We all have issues, problems or obstacles that keep us from moving forward in our lives. It is only by the grace and mercy God has shown me that I have gotten as far as I have. No matter what journey you find yourself on, I hope I can lend some encouragement along your way. You might have seen so
I have often heard of people who say they can remember little of their childhoods. Usually, the lack of such memories is associated with some sort of adversity. Or, at least that seems to be the case.   I was an army brat. I enjoyed moving around and seeing new places. The draw-back to that is always leaving friends. I used to believe that my brother and I compenstated for that by being each other's best friend. In the past few weeks, new thoughts have come to mind about my childhood.
Before I continue, I just want to mention that a great deal of anguish and torment has been brought to the surface in revisiting my past. The past two weeks I have been more depressed than normal and actually find myself actually welcoming death as a relief from all the pressures of the past and the indignity of my current poverty which seems to be coming at me from all angles more than ever. But I will soldier on even though I just want to fall apart and cry sometimes, currently I am working
This is going to be one of the harder parts to write about as it involves me talking about something that will perhaps stigmatize me even in the eyes of the LGBT community. The shame and instant judgement others openly and secretly pass upon me when I mention this time of my life. The strange thing is, I remember the summer of `73 as being one of the best summers ever, the weather, the music the long weekends at the Jersey beaches. How did it come to this? The stark austerity of the cold Nov
Hi there, I so suck at writing but here goes. I am biologically a male in my early 30s at this point. I wanted to create this blog to be able to write wherever I am about the truth of what goes on in my mind and heart. Truth is I mostly hide from the world in real life and stay away from many people that do not know the real me. I will explain more as I write more here. I used to have another personal diary online years ago where I opened up about things but I got locked out of that one throu
We originally lived in a second house that my dad's parents owned. It bordered a large graveyard in a gritty working-class neighboorhood sandwiched between a steel mill, a large slaughterhouse and two breweries. With the half dozen backyards facing a sea of marble behind a chain-link fence. One room houses that had grown into a ramshackle collection of wood and tar paper houses. I stil find it hard to imagine my great-grandparents raised 10 girls in that tiny house! The house we first lived in
Would like to say making Davina a smooth sissy was easy, it was not. Wax strips worked to a degree but it was a slow process so we resorted to a razor in the bath and just concentrated on a smooth chest and stomach and legs. After lots of messing around the result felt good and enpowering and hopefully a more complete hair removal session will happen soon but as they say live and learn. The photo taking that followed was great fun and hopefully you like some of the results shown below.
I recently received an e-mail notice from here that someone had wanted to start a personal message. The e-mail stated that the individual wanted me to use their hotmail account to do so. Under some circumstances I would not mind. Under some I would. The person used a screen name and the hotmail address gave no indication who they were. The names did not appear familiar. I do not blame people for using screen names. Safety, workplace discretion and families all may play a part when one is t
  • Del
To be honest cross dressing is a thing I have done on and off for ages to some degree and usually involving my girlfriend at the time. My current gf loves getting me dressed up and kept hintng at creating Davina and instead of just wearing the tights and the dresses having the look enhanced with make up and such like. Davina has happened just twice so far once back in January when the skin tone we chose was not the best but the profile shot was one of the resulting shots and as you say you
I'm not sure if I would call me lucky for knowing I was "different" from a very early age. I started at the age of three. It happened one Spring morning in 1967 at the VOA daycare center my Mom would leave me at. Most of the other kids had gone outside to play in the early spring sunshine. I had stayed inside with this one girl, and we decided to play house. In a moment of inspration she decided I should play the Mommy, and so I looked around and there was a life-sized doll in a pretty white
SPOILER ALERT - I chose to post this here in the blogs rather on the forums where it might be more visible in case the reader has not yet seen the Nat Geo documentary, "American Transgender." If reading or hearing about something before you see it doesn't bother you, then read on. If you don't like to hear about something before hand, you should skip this blog entry. American Transgender A one hour documentary that aired 01 May 2012 on the Nat Geo channel.   I first heard abo
It's unreal how many times in a day people ask me the same kind of question when they learn I'm an FTM transgender. It seems to be common for people to ask if I want to be a man because I like women. No, I like men. I'm highly attracted to men. Gay men. I'm a very dominant person by nature. Then I have to explain further. It's not a want to be a man it's a need. My inner self and my outer don't match. I wasn't meant to have breasts and a vagina. I was meant to be a man and it's a deep true
I was at my sisters house recently for a few days and she said something to me that kind of made me laugh. My sister is a hardcore lesbian and is often called a dike because she's very boyish. She believes that dike is a bad word. But anyway, someone asked her because she's a lesbian if she wanted to be a boy. She said that the term for that is transgender not lesbian. The person then asked her what the difference was. She said "I'm a lesbian and I like my vagina, I don't want a penis. My little
The Reality of Being a Transsexual By Cindy D. Keranen I am often asked what I would do differently if I had the choice to do it all over again. This is a powerful question and its one I have pondered many times. Looking back I made so many mistakes and it has cost me so much in terms of heartache. I wish I would’ve done so much differently. When I decided to become a, “fulltime woman” I could not have known just how difficult it would be. I was working a good job; it paid well and the
There was once a salesman who went to work one morning to see where he could go to make a sale. He walks into the office and starts studying the map. It isn't long before he spots an area all others previously overlooked. So he gets into his car and heads out for the unknown; he has always been successful so why should this be any different. He gets out in the middle of nowhere and eventually gets lost. As the sun sets he decides to look for a gas station or some other sign of life to seek direc
So, I'm driving in the middle of nowhere Montana the other night. It was dark as the clouds were thick and the overcast was low. It was 3am and all of the sudden I see these brights lights; they are so bright I can't see anything at all! Then, my truck dies! I check my phone to se if I can call for help, but it too is dead to the world, right long with my watch. Everything is dead! The next thing I know I am floatiing outside of my truck and drifting onto this huge ship which is just quietly hov

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