That is wonderful in regards to not feeling exposed when out and about. Those who want to but don't need to hear stories such as yours. More outings in general strengthens confidence and with this people will see you as (in this case) a female and the reverse for female to male.

In my case, I have waved to people whom I had not seen in a while and they look at me as a stranger. Then next time I see them I will engage in conversation and then they realize who I am. This most likely will happen to you over time.

What really will boost your identity is when you have official documentation to go along with your physical self. Appearing female and handing a credit card or drivers license with a male identity can be very awkward. Then you just might get someone saying "What were your parents thinking giving you a male name" or "would you like to put the entire purchase on your husband's card?"

You are indeed on the right track :-)

That's awesome! My only experience like that was when cross-dressed and having a man on the train say to his daughter, who was going to take my seat when we got to my stop, "wait til the lady gets up." Great feeling.

(And my birth name was also Steve...parents made it easier for me to transition by making my middle name Christie)

have a great weekend!

Karen,

Yes I agree with you re change of official documents, I already had them completed by the end of January. The passport and driving licence gave me most satisfaction, paradoxically along with slight pangs of regret and insecurity! These slight feelings didn't last long though, it was more a case of my saying farewell to Steve.......

Cheers,

Eve

So I have a message to you all, believe in yourself, be who you really are.

I need to remember this. It's what I'm trying to do, learn who I am and be okay with being myself. I'm making progress but last night at the TG Support Group a transitioned transwoman in her 70s got all confrontational with me, accusing me of not being women enough, feminine-enough, trans-enough, committed enough to being transgender. It hurt me deeply. I countered her politely enough (which was hard) and this morning wrote an email to the therapist who leads the meeting. Here's a short excerpt:

I suppose she has her own issues and maybe that's one reason she attends the group. On the way to our cars A___ kindly patted me on the back for standing up to J___, saying she needs to be taken down a peg or two from time to time. Fine, but that's no excuse for J___'s being a bully.

We all have our conceptions of what it means to be feminine based on inner feelings, observations, and perhaps some wishful thinking. To me, part of being feminine means it's okay to be lighthearted and sweet, vulnerable and feeling, sensitive and caring.

The therapist wrote back saying she was also deeply disturbed by the confrontation. (I wonder why she didn't say anything last night but I imagine she was flabbergasted.)

Anyway I'm sorry if I'm stealing from your parade. Like everyone here I share in their congratulations and support of your progress.

Emma

Emma, in a group therapy situation it is the THERAPIST'S JOB to maintain an EMOTIONALLY SAFE atmosphere!

Monica

Monica, I agree with you. She's an older woman (about 70, I think) and I guess she was caught flat-footed. Before we went to dinner (while the meeting was adjourning) I noticed that her lips were kind of trembling. At the time I assumed it was kind of an older-woman's twitch if you know what I mean, but when we were at dinner she asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was fine (and the transwoman in question was sitting next to me and I didn't want to get into another confrontation anyway). In hindsight I could have asked Judy (the therapist) how she was doing since evidently she was also affected by the whole thing.

Anyway, she promised to follow up and I'm hopeful it will all blow over. The other two transwomen in last night's meeting are delightful and I enjoy their company a lot.

Emma

Hi Emma,

So sorry that you've been bullied by this person, it happens over here too, some of the full-time and fully transgendered, were quite "stand offish" with me when I made my first faltering steps as Trans, perhaps they needed to do this, to help convince themselves of their own "status" of being superior to me at that time. I remember thinking that it seemed to be hierarchical, something that I had not long left behind as a SCUBA Diver.

Bluntly, it's distasteful, destructive, and saps what small amount of self confidence that someone starting out on their journey might possess...........

Hugs,

Eve