Just another Rambling Jam
Hey Ladies and Gents and Robotics of the future who are posing as the usual nerds who actually know the key to the universe but are keeping it secret to watch us make fools of ourselves.
You know, because they're absolute asses.
And face it, we can be rather amusing to watch trip over our own feet sometimes.
Come on people, admit it. You laugh when others run into glass doors.
We're hilarious.
ANYWAY, enough about the stupidity of the human race (which would be solved by removing warning labels, by the way. The universe would sort itself out eventually, to be honest. Removes the morons from the people who actually gained common sense at birth.
You know, because that’s what normal people have. Common sense…
Though sadly I have a feeling that the general population of today’s youth would perish. Sad, but nessesary.
But, once again, I’ve trailed off my train of thought because as some of you know, the rails to my train of thought are as twisted and mangled up as old spegetti you found in your fridge from last Sunday’s dinner.
SO, back on topic.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Life.
Well, life still sorta sucks a little bit. But, what else is new, right?
I went to the doctors office for my usual “lets see if you’re still functioning” visit, and I’ll admit, it could have gone better.
I unfortunately have fallen back into a full swing of my “self harm” issues, and I dare say they’re a little more consistant and addictive as the last phases of it.
So I admitted to my doctor about whats going on, and yes, I had had a few thoughts that I’m not so proud of.
I felt it only beneficial to let her know what were going on through an honest standpoint, and that my antidepressants were as effective to me as water is to a heart attack.
Naturally, she were concerned, and we discussed weening me off from my Lexapro and onto another medication, Zoloft. We’ll see how that goes, but my hopes are….well, hopeful.
Another topic we discussed is my back pain.
She had been aware of it for some time, and had previously suggested pain killers such as ibuprofen or Tylenol, which I advised her that was unhelpful, and she was nice enough to not question it.
She asked me where it hurt (which is right between my shoulders most days) and as I moved my arm up to point to the area, low and behold, my shoulder popped. Not uncommon for me, it’s been an issue since I were a very young teen.
Alarmed, she investigated, and her theory is that the weight that my bra straps had put on my shoulders as a young adult has damaged the way my shoulders matured, which makes them pop a lot. Possible, and completely believable.
When I broke down into tears about not being able to afford my top surgery and how bad my back was killing me, she decided that she would do even further investigating and be more aggressive with trying to find a way to turn my top surgery into a medical nessesity.
Thank Frogging Gerd. (I was asked by a catholic coworker to try and avoid saying the f-bomb or ‘God’, and I’m up for a challenge. Does that One time of saying God count? Crap, is that two? Damn it.)
So in one aspect, I MIGHT be closer to top surgery. No promises, and I’m not fool enough to think that my problems are solved, but I’m not hopeless enough to assume it wont work.
I have previous damage to my spine for falling off a cliff, damage to my ribs and previous damage to my shoulders from them popping out of place from lack of cartilage. Getting rid of some of my top-heavy problems will be beneficial not just to my mental state, but certainly from a medical standpoint to my health.
I don’t want to be eighty years old and unable to stand upright because of years of back problems.
On another note, I received a package today.
EmmaSweet, this shoutout is for you, babydoll
Love, Love, LOVE the book you sent me!
Wonderful pictures, wonderful stories, very inspiring!!
For those who are curious, it was the book called “Transfigurations” by Jana Marcus, and it is phenomenal!
Thank you a million times over
Well, I think that just about wraps up this session of rambling and bologna. Impressed that I spelled that right? Yeah, me too.
LATER LADIES AND GENTS,
And a special wink to the nerds. Just cuz’ we fam, yo!
Warren AKA “RenRen”
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