Some thoughts and question on gender and sexual orientation

Hi Christie,

Don't worry, you didn't say anything wrong at all. I get your point exactly. That said, I'm not sure I have much to offer. Well, maybe there is something.

For me, my sexual orientation is to women. Being a male (hiding my gender concerns) of course only straight women would be interested in me and that's fine. But way back when I went to some lesbian bars when I was out with friends who were lesbians, and also used to go to one that was in my neighborhood in San Francisco. There were women there that I was attracted to, and others that I was not. I think that's like everyone.

So maybe when you were considering gay men as date material you didn't get to know enough of them to find one you were attracted to.

Have a nice Monday!

Emma

Emma,

Thank you so much for that feedback, it's very helpful! It's interesting how just shifting from thinking in terms of gay or straight to simply recognizing that my interest is in men changes how I think about things.

And you're absolutely right, there are certainly gay men out there who would be "right", I just need to get out more and stop generalizing. I think one mental roadblock is that when I think about gay men who would accept me as a woman I think "straight acting," which doesn't have a great history (and I don't like it as far as it reflects on someone being closeted). But that's not everyone.

My present course might eventually open me up for new possibilities - the more I present myself as a woman the more likely I am to meet a person who likes that :-)

You have a nice Monday too!

xoxo

Christie

Hmmm ,you're certainly going through the mind mill ! Why should anything change just because you now look like a woman? So when you meet someone you really like a lot, go with it, and I certainly wouldn't dwell on your sexuality too much.

I too have wondered about my sexuality, and I have to say I don't think that I could do it with a bloke, perhaps a pre-op trans, definately with a post op and best of all a woman, lucky for me I'm married to one. I guess I'm what we in the UK term as Trans Lesbian, whatever it's just a term and I don't care what others might term my sexuality, I'm just me.

Hope this helps?

Cheers,

Eve

I am indeed going through the mind mill! It's something I do way too often :-)

I agree with you as far as the present goes - I think perhaps for me the bigger question (which possibly can't be answered, but I was hoping it could) is whether the entire idea of being gay was something my teenage mind came up with in response to the feeling of being trans.

Dear Christie,

In my opinion, you are a heterosexual woman, and should be with either a cisgender or transman heterosexual man. Easier said than done. Just because you are a woman with a penis does not make you a Gaymale.

May I suggest you take your time and find an understanding heterosexual man or transman.

Feel an excellent resource is http://www.TGPersonals.com

In your ad, mention that you are pre-op but identify as a heterosexual female. Read the other ads to get an idea what you want to put in or not put in your ad.

Hope this helps.

Yours truly,

Monica

Monica,

Thank you for your response - it is very helpful! I'm not sure I'm entirely there yet as far as accepting that I'm a heterosexual woman, but I am starting to believe that that's where this journey is going to end up. I just have 40 or so years of clutter to push out of the way. Or I guess it would be better just to leave the clutter and find a new home :-)

I just created a profile on the website you recommended, I'll take a look around there too and see what comes up.

xoxo

Christie