I am so sorry for not being around for so long.... things are tough all over I know... Its not a good excuse and not even a bad excuse. But things have been real dificult for me lately...

Ok , first things first I have started to with draw a bit my mind is on so many things as of late, Job, Money you all know the deal you are most likely going through it your selves...

I was for a time only talking to my wife in my fem voice and things were fine but I senced a bit of tension from her , I think it has a lot to do with our daughter and her having to help out with her and her new baby and the rest of the grand children, and on top of this me and my whole mess, So I have stopped this and withdrawn from who I am back to who I feel she needs, I know this is detrimental to me , but she has bean srtong for me in this I feel I can give her what she needs to make it through all this with the kids.

I have even stopped practicing my voice and stopped putting on makeup.... I have started looking for work here at home so I can be around more for her This is going to be and is a difficult thing for the area I am in.... I will find something . I have told her that I think I am going to go back to school and get a degree in something I am thinking Therapy or Nursinng I still set on the wall looking at this and hesitate the jump .... She thinks I want to go into nursing because my ex is trying to get into the field.... Trust me this is not going to happen for her and niether is nursing but in my wifes mind it is still their pecking at her, no matter what I tell her... I think the Therapist thing might be my forte but I am still on the wall, I am sure I will jump soon I have to do something this setting around the house really isn't helping my depression one bit and the anxiety level is returning to its prior levels.

Enough of this I am back on here and plan to get on here more often so look for me guys and gals... As always love you all.. Steph