Hello you bright and inteligent humans out there in the net(er) net(er) land, I feel as though I must raise my hand to ask the question.... Me playing devils advicate once again, Mike's been off for some time, Thats ok I will play ....

OK, Now it has come to my attention at the local water cooler that some of those that say they are your friends and closest allies are merely , traderous back stabbing A sexuals, Ok maybe B sexuals Or maybe No sexuals this might answer the question before I really ask it ( they might be sexually frusterated and have to release this tension on some one else ), Why must those that say they feel our pains and frustrations turn around once we leave the room to cast the first dagger into our general direction....

Why cant people just be honest and forth right with us , And the same can be said about us at times , What in the fricken world makes them or us think it is right just or fair to play tag with some one elses cercomstances or possition in life possibly they are in a higher possition in the organisation or work place... I guess life in general....

What in the world makes us turn into the vendictive lot we are when the other person leaves the room....

Talk about me to my face were I can defend whatever accusations you have thrown into the room for everyone to discuss... Everyone that is except for that person... Now I know this happens with gays, straights, lesbians, Tg's (whatever stage you might be). They say they know and they have your back but as soon as you leave BAHM distain right between the shoulder blades , another one goes down and never knew what hit them....

Why do we do this.... Dont sit there and say it doesn't happen and you have never seen it happening because ever since we were young and awair of our surroundings we have seen this and have possibly even done this, I will be honest I know when I was younger I can now look back and addmit I have done this same petty thing myself ( but fortunatly I have grown to understand how distrucktive this behavior can be )..and I have made up for this with the persons I refer to in my situation.... Can You say as much ? Would you be so forth right with that person you have done this to ?

I am not saying nor am I implying this is has or will have happened to me ( honestly looking outward I am sure it has and will happen many more times in my life ).. but In the outside area of this board ( the Vers as it was ) it happens I know it happens I have seen it happen have been subject to its distain and managed to grab it by its skronney neck and tell it to knock it the H*** off , I cant say I was right by standing up for the other person but I can say without a doubt I did stand up for the other person, Have any of you done this stood up for another or have you merely slinked off into a corner where you thought if you quietly sat you weren't part of this kind of attack , ( Just for future referance if you did do this , You were still in on the attack because you did nothing to stop it ... Sorry my oppinion )... Ok enough you all get the jest of the post... I Hope I think I know you do... Love ya all.... Keep them coming I will be around to field the responces....

Ok I tried to publish this one first but it was passed over by this above posting so I will add it to the tail end of this one that way it gets its recognition as well..... ( crinkles face and slightly sticks out tounge then giggles way to much..)

Ok, Here I am once again......

I set beside the second hands passing arm.....

Will I take the steps ahead....

Will I fall to the ground below....

I feel I am sliding past this place I know....

I grab for your hand...

I miss its grasp...

Bye I go...

Away I know I will come again...

To take this place only within...

To take your hand yet again..

I am Ok...

I really am Okay...

No... I Really feel I am Okay..

I feel this place within my heart ...

I taste its sweat perfume around my soul...

I know with it I can drive it home...

I know I feel it on My chest...

It is so heavy I feel depressed...

But once again I Feel OKAY....

Once again I am OKAY...

hold it in ....

Breath it out....

Its pain subsides..

Its gone for now....

Away at last I do not know...

But I am OKAY....For now I know!

Pain is here its grasp surrounds us all we hold it close to know why it must go.....To understand why we must feel it so...I know now why I feel this way I know now why I have to stay....I must let pain go so I may grow....

Stephani R. Filed in I Must Ponder, Or queary abit