Hiya Bianca/Kourtney. Sweetheart, Sadly the fighting, even verbally, is Awful. Honey, I Know. I Am Pre-Op, MtoF Transsexual, and I Came-Out, on 30th. April, 2015. My Wife "Hates Me". The thing is, that She is having Sexual Relationship's, with Several Different Women, but, She does Not see that, as Cheating on Our Marriage. The Verbal, and Physical Abuse, and Violence, that I have Suffered, mean that I will carry the scarring on Both My Lower-Eye-Lid's, and on Both My Arm's, for Life !  Bianca, I Am going for Legal Advice, this coming week, as We also have a violent Special-Needs Child, Who keeps on attacking Me. I no longer feel safe at Home !  Please Bianca, if You are in Anywhere near a similar sort of thing, Please sort it out !  Being Transsexual, and being fully "Out" including being fully "Out" in Public, is something that has made Me really Happy !  With everything that is going on in My Life, it is Not going to dent My Happiness. Bianca, Look After Yourself, Take Care, and, My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xx

To be blunt, the norm is wives can't bare their husband "in transition" but may tolerate it. Then comes transitioning, it takes a very special connection between a man and woman for a marriage to survive full transition from male to female. You have to place yourself into their shoes knowing nothing about gender dysphoria, answer the question now in how you would respond to this then even when truthful to yourself take it down a notch because even when truthful there will be parts of your brain that still subconsciously relates to being transgender and will undoubtedly will side with "I can at least try".

Sorry to be blunt and to the point but this is how things happen to the average couple.

With that said I hope somehow the both of you can work things out but be realistic going in to the struggle as it is a struggle and in one sense of the word war.

As my doctor said after I went for a visit after GRS, what you (me) have done is one of the most difficult things a human being can do. My doctor is 20 years post op and is very insightful in these matters. Talk to a therapist and more likely than not will either straight forward or beat around the bush what I said is the norm.

So as you indicated you can not go back to a male identity do your best to keep the fighting down, make concessions that may hurt to do but perhaps this might help as you move forward.

Best wishes as you move forward

Dear Kourtney,

Home is where peace should reign.  May your home soon find peace, and once found, may you guard it well!

Your friend,

Monica