I know the title will sound like I'm rethinking something, and seeing that this is a Transgender blog, I might be thinking that I am doing the wrong thing.  But no, don't be hassling me to change for you please.  I am perfectly Michele as I am, just need a few minor modifications, make that minor modifications in the form of surgeries.

I'm currently the fleet manager as I said in a previous blog.  This 8-4 thing is killing me as I'm use to the 6-6 thing and after 2 days and 2 nights I would normally be off and have 4 days to myself.  Now this Monday to Friday thing is kind of a drag and also exiting, because I am the member in charge and the flack all comes my direction.

What I'll never miss about working shifts is the targets they have...  Yes, the station is now target orientated only in arrest and not in the form of how good you deal with the community and the relationships that you build up to them.  Just how many police initiated arrest you performed.  So it was always this way on shifts, you start work and you go home not worrying about tomorrow, but now you have worries more about performance, and you know what...  One day you may have 20 arrest and the next none.  It's the role of the dice with police initiated arrested.

So I'm sleeping more and my body is actually building a cycle of sleep and when I should wake up, and I never had this for the last 10 years almost 11 if you looking at it that way.  I didn't have a cycle.

I've ditched my uniform that will just be hanging in my cupboard till I work operations with others.  NOOOOOOOOOO,it doesn't mean I ditched my firearm because I am wearing civilian wear, I'm still driving marked vehicles and I'm not going to put myself in crap when someone starts shooting at my vehicle, I want a fighting chance of survival.

Now, you know what.  I've almost always been called Miss or Mrs with longer hair.  My hair isn't that long for me and I love that my face and body is giving my personality and image a pure view of me as a female.  I've been told that a girl shouldn't wear a firearm, and that it is a mans toy or weapon, which just make me look like a butch lesbian.

Again a butch lesbian, I am told.  Well the one that told me that my weapon can be taken from me fast, looked at me and said.  I change my opinion, you are fast to draw and cock the weapon one handed.  He thought that I would be to soft and scream at everything, before running away.

Okay I'm trying to catch you up on what happened in the last month with just small burst of thoughts being thrown at you to give some insight in my life.

I was also told to not reveal that much to the world,because it would leave me vulnerable to attack.  But my views on being attacked with something that everyone else knows, is nothing.  Because it's not a secret and what has been reveal and not been concealed to hide from the world.  Will and can never hurt me.

Enough of me rambling on and you not getting a fix on where I am, so cheers for now.  Be safe and take care of yourself.

Love and protection from Michele H

Ps...  Question, how do you view this???  My friend's birthday was the other day and her father passed away on the same day???  Well she is looking at it in a positive light, which I didn't see till she pointed it out to me.  It might be sad to lose your father or someone close to you on your birthday, but form now on, she will be rejoicing in the life her father lived for the rest of her life on her birthday and that of her father's birthday.  I know on my father's anniversary of the day he passed away, I always start crying as I miss him.  I have never looked at death of a loved one as a happy occurrence.