That weird moment...
when you're browsing transgender oriented stores for your mate and suddenly are considering things for yourself too. Is this something like what Nikki feels shopping on the woman's websites? That this stuff is nice, I'm not the intended clientele, but dangit I want to wear some of this. Then I trip over my own social paranoia like I'm not supposed to take these items and wear them, they're not meant for me, and then I realize wow, that is a silly feeling if the whole idea of embracing this new adventure we're on is that it doesn't matter who the clothes were meant for, only how the person who wears them feels. Nikki is on an unholy quest to find me things he wants to see me in, after I (somewhat more timidly than I like to admit, behave dismorphia, embrace that Nikki finds me pretty and dress up for him) asked him if maybe the answer for my really awkward body shape and weight distribution might be found in these stores. It never even occured to me before this to look. I didn't close down Nikki's world, and for that he's opening up mine and maybe this won't help at all, but the possibility and looking at things is fun and good bonding with Nikki.
He's also threatening to take up sewing and waved an unholy amount of scratchy-type lace at me that will make my skin go crazy...I think it's supposed to be motivation to work hard on finding better clothing with him. It also made me realize the last thing I ever sewed was my first wedding dress (made my own!) and how long ago that was. Talk about skill atrophy.
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