I was actually feeling kind of down today as our resident conspiracy theorist and cynicist extreme (I thought I was bad and he takes it to a whole new level) managed to be even crazier and down on everything than usual. The dude needs to go back to therapy or something because he's getting to levels where he could drive a room of people out just from his scowl. Anyway, did what I could to brighten my own mood a bit and talked to Bree as much as I could at work. Had to leave early today (thankfully) to head to my first therapy session with my new councilor. She's only my second, the first I had when my parents were going through their divorce so that was over thirty years ago and it didn't last long at all.

So I went with Bree to my session which is taking place in a center that's a converted house which surprisingly made me more comfortable about the whole thing. I had butterflies on the way there and even up until actually meeting her. Bree was helping immensely. Went upstairs with her and talked about all sorts of things for over an hour. I talked a bit about what happened to me when i was a kid, my bouts of ongoing depression, how it's tied or triggers my need to dress, how it all affects my marriage, how Bree has been awesome and been helping, how I'm really confused as to where I sit with all of this. My therapist was great, asked me questions Bree told me they'd ask the first session, asked what I wanted out of this, and was generally pretty awesome about it all. I did ask about support in our local area and she confirmed that there basically is none which comforted Bree because we've been looking. She is thinking about starting one and I told her I'd absolutely be ok with joining in.  It was basically an intake session where she could get to know me and for the most part I felt comfortable talking to her which is a good thing. My childhood trauma is hard to talk about either way. I'll be seeing her every other week for awhile starting next week. I'm hoping this helps me sort things out a bit and get a handle on the depression. While I like the fact I can use my crossdressing as a coping mechanism getting to the heart of it and figuring out how to get through some of it will be a good thing.

After that Bree and I headed out to get lunch at my favorite sub place in town. They make them like I used to get them when I lived in New York and its very much comfort food. We talked a bit and worked through some more of my nervousness about our next stop, the hairdresser.

I keep my hair long and I've always been nervous that the haircutter is just going to end up lopping too much of my hair off. I grow it thick and it tends to get split ends and a bit broken at the end. I got a really good one though and it has the same vibe as my avatar here does which is awesome. I especially like that it hangs naturally hiding my male pattern hair growth and brings in my forehead and Bree is right, it frames my face nicely whether I'm in boy mode or girl mode. It's a very unisex style that just flat out works for me. As usual with this, Bree is right and it did feel kind of like a girl's day out with both of us getting taken care of. Guess we'll be doing it again in a month and a half. 

Overall it was a nice recovery from the doldrums I was feeling. I was able to dump on my therapist which is what I'll  be paying her for along with helping sort me out anyway. I feel like this coupled with working on things with Bree is going to help this all immensely and I'm really glad we've gotten this far. It's going to be a process but I think things are continuing in a positive direction which is never a bad thing.