Writing that was hard.  I tried to be overly articulate, and it was crap. I tried to write it like a report, and that was crap.  Finally I just freeform wrote it, fixed typos, and e-mailed it without reading it over and over and judging myself.  Writing it reminded me how scary a trip this all was, and also made me see how much progress I'd made.  I"m not angry anymore.  I'm still working on that full trust, but that takes time.  Admitting to my fears and problems with the things people have said to me wasn't scary anymore, it was just, this happened to me.  Do what you want with it. 

I guess I really am doing as well as I thought, and writing a 'here is my story' helps me see it. 

Off to bed now.