So since Nikki's depression has been seriously lifted due to the combined efforts of therapy and his medication and the life chagnes, I'm making an effort on the holidays this year.  I have severely mixed feelings about holidays, so much unpleasantness to others hidden in that cheer, but what the #*&&.  Nikki's having a good time and can use some festivity in the middle of winter.  And me, being the extremely clumsy thing I am, managed to injure myself several times already trying to get things done.    But I did manage to get through the annual 'do these lights work?  Is this knot physically able to be undone or has it entered some weird form of light string knot immortality?' without getting the cat tied up with them this year, that's progress.  I'm trying to figure out where to put the tree. 

So I was talking to my mom (when I can't get out of it, I admit) and she said she always thought I would outgrow the bruises and cuts and fails to understand how as an adult I can look like a clumsy three year old.  Well, gee, probably because I am clumsy, but mostly because I live with two cats and a dog.  90% of the cuts come from them.  And, unlike her, I don't sit on my butt all day, but I get up and do things, which occasionally means bruises and cuts and burns.  Bree no longer takes parental criticism well, it's never anything close to normal 'your family cares about you' and now it just triggers a lot of rage.  I'm tired of my mom implying I'm an awful daughter when she spent my entire childhood in her bedroom reading harlequin books with no idea where i was most of the time.  I had to pester her an hour to get fed, at age 6.  Cuz you know, putting the cheap romance formulaic novel down for 10 minutes to heat some frozen food and feed the kid would be a tragedy.

So much fun trying to sort out that inner rage and holidays at the same time, but we have managed to get the lights up, work out a menu for xmas dinner, and my deep cleaning project on the house is going rather well, and progress in reducing the amount of weird clutter we have around is going well also.  Trying to put together a Christmas list for Nikki, he hates trying to shop for me without one, but I have no idea what i want.  Meh.

My new dress for vacation this spring is supposed to arrive tomorrow.  I'm going with the aim of blinding at least half the boat with a sliver sequin dress that Nikki found and told me to buy for this.  My skin on the underside of my arms is going to despise me, sequins hurt, but I don't care, SPARKLE!  Nikki has been slowly replacing my functional ugly clothes with stuff he wants to see me in, and have a great time doing it, and I've only balked at one or two things, mostly on issues of color.  I cannot wear yellow, I look like I'm going to die, it does something creepy to my skin when I try to wear yellow. Which sucks, cuz I like it. Nikki shares this trait though, and can't rock the yellow either.  I have to redo our hair.  I also have to decide if I want to keep the peace with his family and dye my hair some sort of natural color for the cruise or not.  Probably not, ,I love my green and if my family can deal, so can his.

Today...is a day off.  The new Pokemon games come out, so Nikki and I have to catch them all.