Reassurance in the funniest places.
So we went up to Toledo to do some shopping for xmas, much more selection up there than our town, and our favorite calzone place is on the way, so awesome lunch. And while we're shopping, someone calls out to Nikki, and it took me a moment to place him, but it was our former roommate. Sweet guy, and it was lovely to catch up. I said he and his family should come down and I'll cook a dinner, and we could make the details on Facebook. He said he thought I'd quit using it, it got dark on my wall. To which I replied my Dad getting on Facebook made it really weird...and he looked at me and goes, "Yeah, I saw all that. I couldn't believe he was backtalking everything you said and did, and wondered why you talked to him at all."
It was...a wonderful moment. Someone not really all that vested in making me happy analyzing the interactions objectively, and telling me I'm not crazy. After all the family gaslighting that I"M the problem (and even though you firmly try not to believe, it works it's way in when that is normalized since you are a child), it was really comforting that someone else was mindblown and not telling me that I have to forgive and accept my father because that's just the way he is. Best Christmas Gift ever. I had been all geared up to defend myself again...and just got patted on the head with a you did good sorta moment.
And I only have a few groceries and one more person to buy for tomorrow and I'm done. WOOT!
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