Recently I commented on someone's post about being bullied, and, literally, I was bullied in the public library by two teenage girls only 15 minutes later!

That evening, I called a T/LGB Warmline to discuss this idea further.

First of all, I believe, due to the current Administration, that T/LGBs will encounter an increase in bullying, no matter where they live.

The first thing is that you deserve to be welcome, not just tolerated.  Be sure your overall situation improves with each move. Thus the first question:  do you feel welcome, not just tolerated, where you live?

As in dating potential partners, you should look for red flags, when you explore places to live.  These can not be explored only on the Internet (although that is a good place to start!) or on a casual, brief vacation.  You are not visiting on a vacation; you are exploring to see if this is a place where you want to spend the next several years of your life!  Please visit for a minimum of a week.  Ride public transportation, if you don't drive, visit the local T/LGB Center (ask questions!), look at housing that you can afford (in my case, public housing), etc.

Do consider carefully what size town you would be most comfortable in. 

In a small town, often, "everyone knows everyone."  It has been my experience in small towns that most people are partnered, and it can be uncomfortable living there if you are single.  Many singles date through online dating websites rather than people who live in town.

Large cities are the opposite.  There are many residents who are single, but often they are not seeking a committed relationship.  However, large cities have neighborhoods, where people find community.  They have many organizations to explore.

Medium sized cities seem to have the best of both worlds.

Questions To Ask The Locals

• Do you like living at this apartment complex?
• Is there anything I should know about personal safety?  How is crime here?
• What are the average rents here (for studio, one bedroom, two bedroom, etc.) for apartments?
• How expensive are houses here?  Are housing/rent prices going up (you may need a longer lease or buy a house sooner than later).
• Is there public housing here?  Is it owned by the city/county/federal government or privately managed/owned?  Usually city/county/federal government owned public housing includes electricity/gas and private does not, and is better maintained.
• Do you have easy access to banks, supermarkets, stores, and a variety to choose from?  Go into stores and supermarkets and price the items there, to be sure you can afford buying in a particular town.
• Do you have quality hospitals, doctors and dentists nearby that take your insurance?
• Is the mail secure?  If not, is the Post Office convenient and offers Post Office boxes at a reasonable price?
• Observe the vibe - do you feel you will likely fit in here?
• If you do not drive, is the town "walkable," and offers good, affordable public transportation?
• Are a variety of support and social groups that meet regularly available?
• Is there an active T/LGB Center with a wide variety of affordable activities nearby?
• Are the police, fire and emergency medical technicians sensitive and supportive?
• If you work, are there career opportunities in your field available that pay a good wage?  

Would like very much to hear about your experiences in moving.  Thank you.