Mine delivered a similar ultimatum. Right about the time she insisted that I move to the guest bedroom. Both of us were reeling with emotions. We continued to try to work things out with therapists, all that. About a year (or was it more?) I had done lots of research, reflection, etc., and had to tell her that I was indeed transgender. But I didn't know what that meant for me. I was clinging to a belief that if I could just dress from time to time in the privacy of our house — to relieve the gender dysphoria pressure — that I and we would be okay. To her credit she said no, we needed to get divorced so I could be free to discover and be my authentic self. 

We divorced just under two years ago, and I moved out permanently in April 2017. I settled in Seattle in August 2017. I was surprised that, over time, I just kept needing more. I'm now legally Emma, on HRT, just had GCS and BA, and in April will have FFS. Thankfully we are both very close with each other. We talk about every other week for an hour or more. Last night she really helped me when I was very down. We both love each other, that's for sure. We miss each other too. But I think my transition is just way too much for her. But we'll see. She plans on visiting later this year which will be very interesting. I keep encouraging her to move to Seattle. I love it up here.

Thanks ladies, I was hoping that I could keep the woman I love.  I needed a reality check, and can always count on ya'll to provide.

Again, thanks,

Tilly.

having had this happen with my ex i understand completely,and my ex being the first and only person i have ever loved, it was very trying at that time i had hoped we could stay together and we had two almost grown children it hurt very much,but i had to continue my journey alone because i would have died if i had not gotten to the srs i knew that in my heart from an early age.

Very well said, Christy. We all send best wishes.

Tilly, it is hard to admit that two people can change. You are literally becoming a new person and while the things that make you special are all still there, every time you make a choice about whether to take another step your partner also has to make the choice to take that step with you as well. I do understand the worry about hurting your daughter, Ultimately  though that will be between you and her - my greatest fear is losing contact with my children if I press onwards - but I also know that they would probably adjust soon enough over time, it would just be weird for them at the moment.  x

i know that little trap and my ex tried to get me to do that therapy where you fix things by praying it away ,i did not even consider that crap

aversion thing i think it was called?