I am forced to carry a loving heart through out this life as I am sure so many of you are as well , those within our lives are simply victoms of a tender heart or have become hardened because of the pain they have known , what do you suppose makes those of us that have a loving heart continue to undergo the pains of knowing and feeling for those around us , they cant return the same to us or are forced to withdraw due to their attempts at knowing those pains we deal with within our lives .

I suppose it is the natural motherly instinks that have dwelled within us since birth that cause us to both feel and know of those we nurture through out our lives , does this become a help within our growth as women or do you suppose it has hindered us because we concern ourselves with the feelings and resentments others have suffered within their hearts .

Does it make us hardened knowing this and surmize in order to not become hardened from the pains of our own hearts we must finally seperate our needs from the others we care so deeply for ...

Does this in some way force us to become more tender hearted then loving when we have to choose our lives over those we have so lovingly nurtured along the way ....

I ponder the notion that since one step in transition is to realize our valid needs out weigh those we have lovingly nurtured along the way thus does it harden us or can we still fulfill our needs , wants , and desires and still continue to be the loving person we have always been for those around us...

I wonder , I hope that because for once in my life I can validate myself instead of those we have surrounded ourselves with that I will remain loving , it is a hard lesson we learn when we validate ourselves instead of those around us but I still believe even though we finally compete our needs and leave those we nurtured they in some form become a loving part of our heart finally completing the hope we have held for them in the first place to become loving for those around them instead of simply tenderly carring or carring to the point it has hardened them from those that surrounded them.

I hope I have not confused you to much I suppose I was simply wondering that because I have to care for myself for once instead of those I have cared for sacraficing my own validations thus creating the peradox we so struggled to over come in the first place ... can I still be loving and validate myself over those that I have sacraficed to this point of validation . or does it harden my heart in a form and sacraficing the validations those I so lovingly cared for in the past . or am I becoming to tender hearted in feeling that any out come of my or their validations is simply because I no longer can feel the hardened heart within my person.

I leave you scratching your heads as I have and do so very often during my own self validation process hopefully those loving person that surrounded me to this point can remain so because of my self validations.