I wounder how this is going to turn out but in all matters I really could care less any more , the family well they love me and want my happiness yet they remain distant , the daughter well she's a littlle twit as of late and she needs a spanking , if I was stronger but now I think she could take this girl down LOL... I hated the fact that I had to choose for my wife , yet it was so comforting to know and see the out come is what I wanted for her ... they are still a part of her life mine distant yet still there , which is ok with me I can look and love atleast they haven't been taken out of my life completely , I get to see my littlest alot she is the 2 year old and she calls me stephani like she should . Gma is a little out of step so I dont want that , LOL.. I am happy with the out come , my life is a little more at ease now it was full of turmiol for the last few weeks and now , no longer ...

I figured it would take my greaving over my wife longer but as I really lost her when we had our talk two and a half years ago it really only took me a week to be finally ok with it , she is still in my life and we are the best friends that we both could ask for, we do still live together but that's because neither of us have the money to move out seperatly , I hope this takes a while because she still is a love in my life I never want to loose .

The endo apptment went like I figured it would they refused treatment on moral issues but wanted to learn alot so we talked for about an hour and a half . I am fine with morality its the fact that he knew it before they had me waist my day talking with him , I know this because he talked to his partners in the practice and this was the descion they came up with . Yeah I am a bit upset still because I am back to square one on that front , I have about five I have called and left word to call back , a couple are 178 miles away and one 210 so not a short trip just to go see the endo .. mid america you bite my arse ..... LOL

oh another thing I finally found a lawyer that would do my name change and divorce all in one , and even order for my birth records changed , you know the whole bit all in one and at one time... now just for the cash yeash always more money going out but well worthit in my oppinion..

My psycologist is in a quandry because I really dont have any thing else bothering me , we have talked about it and I have worked through so much now I am simply back to playing the waiting game.... I guess it could be worse I could be torchered in therapy for years before finally making a breakthrough..... tada there you have it the most accurate and up to date I can give at this moment..

Hugs and kisses my friends

Stephani