So today was my first day of therapy EVER, and it goes without saying that I were a nervous wreck. I got up much earlier than I even needed to, and wandered around the house like a bored lunatic.

When I finally decided to leave and went as slowly as I were comfortable, just killing time and cruising along, I still showed up at the office a little more than half hour early.

Signed in, no problem.

So I was sitting there for a while and the secretary comes over and sits next to me.

"I overlooked your paperwork." she said. Overlooked my paperwork?

"I just now realized your dysphoria part of the paperwork. Do you mind if I switch your doctor last minute? I think you'd be more comfortable with a different one".

Uh...sure? How the hell should I know, I havent met any of them

So, they switched my therapist. No worries.

The woman was actually very nice, and somehow I found it very easy to talk to her. She actually GREATLY resembles an elderly (though shes younger lol) woman I used to care for. It's almost incredible how much they look alike, though several years apart.

Before I even realized what was going on, she had gotten me talking, and it was actually pretty easy to spill my guts a bit.

She then told me "I'm not really supposed to reveal my own personal life with you, but my daughter is actually one of the leaders of a LGTB community". Awesome! EUREKA, someone who knows a little of what I'm tryin' to talk about!!

So, you guys were right and I feel dumb for stressing about it so much, but it wasnt THAT bad.

I actually like her, and was surprised that I actually felt a little better when I left today. Lighter.

Stronger.

Getting that tiny bit off my chest felt so much better...

She wants to see me every week, and hopefully I can financially do it. I'm not sure if I'll get an after-bill from my insurance company since I have to do a 20$ copay. Hopefully not, because I wouldnt be able to afford to do it very often. Fingers crossed!

I'm thinking of talking to her about maybe getting a little piece of paper for her to just scribble her name on so I can give it to my mom, to prove to her that I'm seeing someone for my "issues" and ITS NOT A DAMN PHASE!!!!!

Even the woman (I feel horrible for not knowing her name! I forgot already!) said it doesnt sound like just a phase to her. Thank god, I'm not crazy!!

LATER TONIGHT: I decided in celebration of not losing my mind, I would go buy a 6-pack of my favorite drink, Mike's Hard Blood Orange. Usually one, and I'm done anyway. I dont go all out on it, BUT the drinks are seasonal unfortunatly, so I have to wait all year to get them (Half thought of maybe buying a few 6packs and storing them over winter for me to enjoy until they come out again! Will write the company about keeping them year round.)

Anyway, I got my merchandise and some tonic water for the bf, and headed to the check out. Things were going good, I werent really paying attention because I simply just wanted to go home and play some Minecraft with my booooze (lol) and the girl asked for my I.D.

No big deal, I know I'm twenty two, I'm allowed to buy it.

So I handed it over.

She looked at it, and arched an eyebrow....and didnt hand it back.

She kept looking at it, and looked confused.

"This is your I.D. or a sibling?" she asked of me. Uh....huh?

The girl claimed I looked nothing like the girl on the I.D. and didnt believe that it were mine. So she called the manager, withheld my I.D., and waited for him to show up.

WHAT!?

Manager shows up, and agrees with her So I had to hand over two other forms of I.D. with my name on it so that they could make sure it was a legit I.D., and I was on my way with the suggestion that I should get a new photo done.

Actually his words are "If you're going to change genders, change photos. It's inconvienant for both you and us."

>.>

Granted, the picture really is a bit different from me right now. But still.....that was rude.

So I took my damn drinks and booked it.

I just finished my second one and you know what? Life is pretty peachy at the moment. I'm not drunk, thats for sure. These are only like 5% alcohol. But its nice to finally relax. I dont feel so alone on this, because I know that on tuesday, I can go and drop some more of my boulder-sized worries on my therapist.

Thanks for all the support, you guys make me smile when I'm frowning and pick me up when I'm tripping on my own two feet.

I'm so glad I found Transgender Guide, it's made life so much more tollerable.

I dare say enjoyable.

Warren