My oh my it has been so long since my last confession sisters..... Giggles sorry.

How in the world are you ladies and gentlemen, have you worn the storm called winter well or have you barely made it through in sound mind..

I would like to say I have came through it unscathed but it would be a lie to utter those words to you , It took a toll on me as I am sure it has done to many others. The cold bites and tears at us like a wolf waiting for us to fall to its grip, Give up NEVER I say fight the good fight I say If you make it to the sunny side only nipped and bruised then I say Great for you , unfortunatly I feel as though I have been dragged through the mill a time or two, but none the less I stand at the other side head up and smiling.... A bit of a crooked smile But a smile none the less.

To add to my horrable winter I pop into spring with an Ex knocking on my door....

Ok I may have but dont think I have told of my past, I will enlighten you a bit so your all up to speed.

One in my late teens I was the tipikle ( and must say over velous ) boy getting into the I am male hear me roar I will I can Look at me ( BS hiding as most of us do ) My life at home was my life at home at sixteen I was working a full time job paying my own rent and other following subsiquent bills that go along with living on ones own. ( I figured I had to pay my way I might as well do it in my own house ) I digress, at seventeen I was already a heavy drinker I hooked up with this girl that I thought I could give up me and this thing that has tormented me since age five , I can and will be her man I can do it I will do it , so off I went Inpressing her and wooing her to move in with me ( ah hell what a mistake as I look back ) we partied ( and yes I was using protection MOM'S ) well she was young and wanted to expieriance more then one male caller... Go figure she already had one P what did she need with another one, oh thats right to use and get to Use some more ( a bit bitter I know sorry )...... any way She at one point becomes our envied GG , Pregnant.... Mine hard to say for sure at two seperate occasions the protection failed subsiquently around same supposed time of inpregnation for no possitive conclusions of science can absolutely pin down time of conception..to day or hour.

Sorry, Ok she preg. I being this ubber male try to do the right thing , nope wont have this Ok fine lets move on the child is born she distapears and a month or so goes by I get a letter from a lawer and her mother.... Short of the long Stay away dont try to become part of this childs life and sign your rights away... My drunken stupper and a pissy lawer say sign it be done and move on OK ...Durty Durr.... Now sixteen years later I get a note dropped off at the house saying your son wants to get to know his father........

OK now I am no longer an alcoholic I am a daily recovering one ( You all know that story I remember telling it before ) Ok I am up to this ( so I thought ,Tears are flowing and the past is in high def stream... ) Like My final exceptance and stepping out to some hasn't been hard enough and brought enough new depression and anxiety into my life here is the past biting me in the ass...

Ok I am dealing with the new anxiety, Oh its so much better My wife oh she's just tickled about having the ex back in my life ( some one just shoot me please ) , Ok I am feeling a little better getting this out as well , see it is so much better to get things out then leave them to fester within....

I will keep you all posted and updated on the future twistes and turns in this new path I travel down..... And No I am still going to follow through with letting me be me.... I cant go back into hiding mearely because I have been side swipped by this bus.