Hello,

Sorry I haven't written in a awhile. I've been working a ton, sick some, and trying to enjoy myself as well.

I had a situation at work that made me realize that I may not be able to transition at the current job that I have. My manager left the company and there is a little bit of a battle between her and the company which could get a little ugly. Anyways, I ended up being one of the pawns in the fight. Yet at the end of it, I was able to out-fox and out-manuever everyone much more senior than me (without getting into any details). Needless to say, I started to realize that, if I had already transitioned, I don't think I would have been able to do what I did. There are certain privileges that men enjoy. Women who excel, typically have to be so much better than their male counterparts, particularly in a technical environment. So, I will need to put myself in a position that I can do that. Also, I will need to "up-my-game" quite a bit. I am really good at what I do. But I will need to be better, almost perfect. I hate to put that kind of pressure on myself, but I seem to have really good survival instincts. And have a good sixth sense about where I am at.

My therapy session last week was good. So much has happened in the last week is a blur that I've forgotten a lot of what we discussed. But, I'm doing better. Not in a rush to transition, but will make a decision soon. I have been giving it a lot of thought what I will need to do. Me being male is an act. Well so will being female. The voice, mannerisms, how I carry myself, etc. Society is so gender binary it drives me nuts.

Well everyone have a good week! Hopefully this snow will break at some point.

Love,

--Lisa