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Very Emotional Time

(0 reviews)

By LovelyLisa

· 2,726 views

I have been really feeling vulnerable and as a result emotional. I cried several times today.

I've been having a two-fold problem in Facebook. One I have guys constantly wanting me to add them. And then guys messaging me for sex, sex cams, etc. It is ridiculous. Then I have had a few non-trans people make negative comments, either on Facebook or in person. I've been called a freak, man-in-a-dress, dude.

It used to never bother me, but I think because I am close to transitioning, it is really bothering me. Also, I've read a lot of articles and I see how a few spoken words by someone prominent in the media can ruin many people's lives. Language can be a powerful thing and we all know that it is easier to tear someone down instead of building them up. An example was Pat Robertson telling his followers not to go to their sons or daughters same sex wedding. Who does something like that? Surely not a man of God. Yet, his followers will hear this as if it came from the heavens themselves. Can you imagine what kind of impact those words will have. I'll bet that hundreds if not thousands of people's lives will be negatively affected because it. It is horrible. And the same thing is true about non-trans folks and their name calling of trans folks. Freak, fag, dude, tranny ... even drag queen. I've been called all of those things (I don't mind drag queen as much though ... but I still correct people). But say that to a 15 year old who is thinking of coming out or transitioning. Think of how horrible that is. Or threats of violence towards trans people. This is the real world that we live in and the consequences.

I digress. I've been feeling absolutely terrible to the point of tears because I feel totally wrong right now. And changing it is not going to be easy. Though all of you know that!

I also want to mention that a dear friend of the community, Lauren Tenent passed away yesterday. She was the president of TGEA and had an extremely positive impact on everyone. I did not know Lauren very well because I just started engaging again in the community over the last couple of years. However, I remember talking with her back in July at a party for two hours, just getting to know her. She made everyone feel like they mattered and was a wonderful, loving person.

Anyways, everyone have a good weekend. Take care.

Love,

Lisa

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    • Like 6

    7 Comments

    Recommended Comments

    Emma

    Moderators

    Dear Lisa,

    I feel saddened myself to hear your story. I wish I could take it all away but we know that it is almost to be expected and dealt with. But that doesn't make it any easier.

    Here you have friends that support you always, no matter what. Pound out your frustrations and hurts onto your keyboard. Try to let it go.

    But overall you must be careful. There are hateful people out there who might do you harm. I know you know that but it needed to be said.

    I wish you the very best and a wonderful weekend too. And my condolences for the loss of Lauren. I'll bet you would love to be able to cry on her shoulder now.

    Hugs and hugs,

    Emma

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    • Like 4

    MonicaPz

    Moderators

    Dear Lisa,

    Am very sorry for your bad experience. Please realize you are not alone.

    Have left Facebook (FB) and Twitter, for exactly the same thing. They say you can control access to your account, but I feel that control is very limited. Really don't miss it.

    Keep my posts on a tightly moderated website, such as this one. That way, I have the support without the hassle!

    Yours truly,

    Monica

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    • Like 4

    KarenPayne

    Members

    It is ashame people have to be this why towards their fellow mankind/womankind. I truly hope the days to come do not weight heavy on you because of these people. This might be the perfect time to have some cheese, chocolate and wine while watching a good movie to erase the troubles of the day.

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    • Like 5

    Kristila95

    Members

    Hey Lisa:)

    Sorry to hear that things have gotten to you today. I had one of those days not too long ago and wrote a long blog entry about it. It's definitely good to get it out. Some people just try to make themselves feel better by making others feel bad. The ones that get really mean have the biggest issues. I had one guy reply to a comment I made on youtube, telling me that he hopes that I will die soon. The sex creeps just seem to be everywhere online. That's the reason I've deleted most of my accounts on transgender social sites. You can limit who can send you messages and friend requests on Facebook, but there's no way to stop all of the unwelcome requests.

    There's a lot of support out there though, try to focus on friends and our amazing community when it gets bad.

    Just remember to kill them with a smile:)

    It's like Taylor Swift says:

    Cause the players gonna play, play, play

    And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate

    Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake

    Shake it off, shake it off:)))

    Also Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

    Feel better soon!

    Kristi

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    • Like 4

    LovelyLisa

    Members

    Thank you everyone for the kind words. I am feeling much better now, even though I feel totally wrong about my body. I did update my privacy settings on FB again.

    I am going to need to get moving on seeing the endocrinologist and hormones. I am also going to need to update my wife. I am sure that this is going to really upset her, even though I told her in January that I was most likely going to need to do this.

    Wish me blessings (or luck!)

    Thank you all so very much,

    Love, Lisa

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    • Like 3

    Emma

    Moderators

    Dear Lisa,

    I do wish you the very best with your wife. No doubt your decision will be hard for her and therefore, for you as well. The main advice I've heard is to try to be as patient and understanding as you can be with her. After all, your gender concerns and thoughts have been with you (probably in lots of forms and worries) for most of your life. She needs time and support to process all of this.

    Hugs for you both,

    Emma

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    • Like 2

    TammyJo

    Members

    I am saddend at the loss of your friend. My thoughts and feelings and with you.

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