I joined a dating site for fun. My profile says I live in Oregon and the first sentence in "about" indicated I am post-op. I am looking for females only.

So I get a message from a man in New York wanting to hook up.

Come on, really? I am interested in females, live 3000 miles away, do you really think I will travel to NY for this? Heck no.

Dear Friends,

Have been accused of being a transgender in an insulting way two years ago on a paid Lesbian dating website (http://www.pinkwink.com).

Two years ago, was also on the two big name "free" dating websites, but not a nibble.

Gave PinkWink another six month chance recently, but giving it up. However, it is worth a try, when it is only $40.00 a year.

Have met on PinkWink a lady who found someone on one of the big name "free" dating websites only ten minutes from where she lived.

Notice MANY scammers on the "free" and inexpensive dating websites.

Now trying gender conferences to meet that special lady, and if that does not work, going to try "Compatible Companions," put out by the owner of eHarmony, for $240.00 or $250.00 a year (I can't remember which).

About people far away making contact: In my case, I exhausted all the women participating from my county, and gradually expanded out. Of course, I am willing to relocate.

Have found http://www.TGPersonals.com, which is free, the best of the transgender dating websites, in my opinion. Many of the transwomen there complain of guys trolling there looking for hookups, but I also found many great online friends there among the transwomen!

Know that "one is the loneliest number," but being with the wrong person can be a nightmare!

Yours truly,

Monica

Kristila, I get these comments from men a lot also. Men can be suc

h liars . I have gotten about 10 out of the 15 you mentioned . I like the attention sometimes , but men can be over zealous , and sexually fervent. When you think you are starting to like someone then you find out they have been lying to you. I have gotten way better at defining the truth out of admires. I am demi-sexual and just want to make a definite connection with someone.

I've tried a couple of the transgender dating sites and spent a lot of time describing myself, what I like and what I'm looking for. It was like the guys that contacted me didn't even bother to read my profile.. I put 20-25 years old for an age range, but like 90% of the men that i heard from were over 40 and many were in their 60's. I also get the impression that a lot of them thing that because I'm trans, that I'm desperate or something. I just want an easier way to meet guys that know upfront. It would be nice to skip the "talk."

Kristi,

The only way I know to skip the "talk," is to attend gender conferences and try to make as many transgender friends as possible.

Have found my beloved at a transgender support group (exploring whether I was transgender myself, which I am not).

Having couple friends is one of the best ways to find a well put together partner, whether you are LGBTQ or not, in my opinion.

Monica

Ladies -

Kristila mentioned that a member "was feeling down," and that "one of the things was that men are sending her unwanted friend requests and messages on social sites." I realize [in this case] that the unwanted attention was on another site, but I want to remind all of you, that if you receive unwanted attention here on the forum... please let a moderator know - we can't do anything about a problem if we don't know about it.

Since this isn't a social network or site, we don't have to put up with that kind of activity. Unwanted contact, especially if the individual continues after s/he has been either ignored or asked to stop, is not tolerated.

-Mike

Monica, I mean skipping "the talk" by meeting guys that already know that I'm transgender so I won't have to go through it. Like through friends, or guys that know me from the tran-advocacy events that I do sometimes on campus, etc. I have met and dated guys that way and it was so nice not to know that I have to have that awkward discussion. Unfortunately, I haven't met anyone that way lately.

Thank you usernameoptional, I haven't had that so far on this site and it's great:)))

I've heard them all.. and also as you say alot more which really cannot post up. With men, I find its really the chase which they are most interested in. They love their ego boosted and expect that we are flattered that they have shown an interest. I've had a few where the chase for them ends up being very abusive to me because I make it clear that I have no interest in them. Ive been sworn at, cursed at, and called all sorts of names, and also been called a freak.

I'm not on any dating sites as I am in a relationship, but I am on other social media where I'm quite the compusive selfie taker..lol

Jennilee, I am now very cautious about what pictures I post on like facebook and other social sites. I used to have a pic of my sister and I in matching Easter dresses when we were little. I thought it was a perfectly innocent and cute picture, but I got some of the creepiest comments from men that I've ever seen, even from a few guys that I thought were really nice. I also stopped posting full body pictures in dresses when a couple ended up on tumblr "she-male" sites. It's a shame that we can't post pictures that other girls would without weird comments or drawing unwanted attention.