Leaderboard

Dear Warren, I sure know what you mean about some days are good and some days aren't. And also, living with secrecy. Quite literally, it sucks big time. I think you took the right step to put down the knife and walk away. I hope you don't get fired, of course, but on the scale of bad vs. worse, harming yourself is much worse. I'm a little reluctant to offer suggestions since we don't know each other and I don't want to come off like some sort of know-it-all. But what the heck, here's a couple: - Go take a walk, get outside, and look around. Get some air into your lungs and head. Try to think of things you're grateful for. - Get a blank book and write a couple (no more than two) pages. Just sit there and write it out. (I use those black Moleskin books.) I often find that I'll start writing and surprise, surprise, after a few sentences or paragraphs, I'll start coming up with some positive ideas to help myself. And consider calling your boss to explain and beg forgiveness. He/she would appreciate your having the consideration of letting them know what's up. Sure, you may need to stretch the truth a bit, but just tell them that you were suddenly feeling pretty crappy and felt that it was better to split without notice than possibly make a mess in the kitchen. I think they'll put two and two together and give you another chance. Best of luck to you and thanks for writing. Emma

Dear Warren, Glad to hear you still have your job but of course sorry to hear about the conflict with others. Good for you for sticking up for yourself in a calm and factual way. It's hard to do, believe me I know, but it's the right way. A friend of mine once suggested that it's best that we "hold the high ground" when in these situations. This means that we do as you did, not descend into childish behaviors as she did. That way, even if she refuses to listen or continues to attack, you'll know in your heart that you did the right thing. And hey, if it gets escalated to your boss no one can fault you for how you handled it, right? :-) Regarding the counselor: yeah, it's hard to think about opening up, especially after so many others haven't really listened. He or she may very well be one more of the same, for sure. More likely, that person is a trained professional who really wants to help. So if you detect that they aren't really listening or hearing you (or maybe also wondering it's "just a phase") call them on it. Just like you did at work: calmly say something like, "I don't understand what's going on here at the moment, and hope you can help me. I'm telling you what's really going on for me but I'm not sure I'm being heard, which worries me because I really want some help. Am I misunderstanding something?" Best, Emma

Love the name emma Took me a long while to decide on mine. I dont remember exactly how I settled on Warren, to be honest. I know that it means 'defender of friends' which was fitting, since I'm always defending and taking care of other people, even ones I hardly know. The full name I had settled on was Warren Renexius (was my online name for several years, AND a book character I created) Ornan (my dads middle name). It's sort of long, but I've learned to love it :3 Emma Sweet is adorable! -Warren

It's always good to have someone who loves you...and continues to love you, and support you even after they find out... -Michael

I tried to post earlier, but lost internet connection. I'm glad it worked out that way, though, because I had nothing to suggest to deal with the constant barrage of female terms of endearment, and female pronouns/references - Emma has offered some good ideas. I too hope all goes well with the boss, and that you don't get fired. -Mike

Emma, Hun, yes it is such a very hard place to be. As much as I don't like the way things are. If it were possible to take away my inner girl, I would not want that for then I really would be lost. She' is and aways has been a bigger part of me and who I really am, than my male self has ever been. I too have want to be a girl forever