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Emma, this post really struck a chord with me. I'm so sorry that you are experiencing these troubles; unfortunately, they are by no means uncommon. (This is really the only reason that I am still closeted, even though I *know* that has to change.) I really hope everything works out with your wife, and you can move forward together. The bad news is, from everything I've read, the number of marriages that survive this is exceedingly low. (I forget the exact number, but I believe it was less than 25%; possibly much less?) Sadly, the odds are not in our favour. Wishing you the best, -Sara

Hello Kerig, I like it that you are sharing with us instead of trying to kick down a door, fight someone, or hurt yourself. Much better to vent here and wait to see your therapist. Perhaps also start a personal diary/journal to jot your thoughts down? Only write 1-2 pages/day, so it's no big deal. Helps me a lot! About replying to messages: when you hit the Reply button it copies the text from the previous message into your editor so you can highlight stuff if you want to, and delete the rest. It's handy but you don't have to use it. Instead, just scroll to the bottom of the message(s) and you'll see an editor box waiting for you to type into. Like I'm doing now. When you're finished, just click on "Add Comment." About shaving: I have a lighter beard but I have to shave every day. My wife kind of likes it when I grow it out a little but I don't care for it, and it's my face, right? Isn't it funny how MTFs and FTMs are so opposite. You'd love to have a beard and the downstairs "floppy bits" and I'd love to have breasts and a nice clean face. Take care, Emma

I hate boobs. Of any variety. Well, except the ones attached to the ladies... but I digress and this is not the place for that discussion! Welcome to TGG... -Michael

I'm sure this will not be something your wife will want to hear, but "transgender" is a term that has been used to just gather all of us into one big happy family. It includes crossdressers, transsexuals, gender-fluid, gender outlaws, androgynous, etc., etc., etc. It's my understanding the term was originally coined because it sounded better than "transsexual." But technically, anyone who has identified with the opposite sex, whether they've come out to anyone or not, whether they are able to transition or not, whether they are able to under-go gender-confirming surgery or not, is transsexual. And to the best of my knowledge, there is nothing that says if a person chooses not to transition, that that makes them not transsexual. I suppose however, that for the time it's fine to tell her you are "just transgender." But I can't help but think this is sorta like some guys who tell people they are lesbians, and then when they finally do tell someone they are really trans (FTM), it's like people totally Sybil-out on them. Just sorta seems like it's worse coming out "the second time around." -Michael

I'm feeling similarly about feeling a desire to wear my feminine clothing. When I'm stressed - particularly regarding my wife - I lose desire and am comfortable in my male clothing. I guess it's a retreat to safety. But it's a retreat nonetheless. Emma

I lost my girlish figure about a year and a half ago. I am hoping to slowly bring it back. But with the winter coming, it will be hard! Happy Thanksgiving to you too! --Lisa

Thank you Michael. Theres alot on this site and its over whelming. Thanks Warren. what is this blog button you speak of? still trying to figure everything out and it I figure out how to write a meassege Ill take you up on that. Ive had facebook for 3 years barley know how to work that lol

Hi Salem, I can hear the humor in your writing and it brings a smile to my face! Hope you continue to post more here. It's a good place and fantastic community. Emma

Dear Lisa, I think you're wise to slowly let the word out, and to start with your wife and family. I wish you the very best Thanksgiving ever! But don't eat too much. We have to pay attention to our girlish figures! :-) Take care, Emma