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Dear Sandi, I think it's terrific that you're sharing this and, from my own experience, your feelings are very understandable. You and your husband were ten years older, more mature, and wiser than when you married. Hopefully you're both better able to be sensitive and understanding of each other's feelings and talk openly to each other. Neither you or your husband wanted "this" but you each selected each other, maybe him you because he sensed that you might be accepting and remain loving, and you him because of an indefinable quality that you didn't find in other men. The most important thing is for both of you to communicate. Easy to say, hard to do, without reacting. It's natural for us to be emotional, threatened, and hurt. I believe this also provides an opportunity for you both to deepen your relationship through building trust of vulnerability, acceptance of each other, and love. I wish you both the very best, Emma

Hi SandCastle, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think it's great to get some perspective from the other side of the relationship, so I appreciate you posting here. I look forward to reading more. Best wishes, -Sara

Ya know, over time, my g/f has still remained my "pillar" of sorts. In fact, there have been a few times she has gotten on me because I've said or implied something that she felt was a little close-minded on my part concerning our community. Gotta love a woman who can keep ya in line. :lol:

You're very courageous and to be admired! Despite all that negative feedback you still did (and do) what you needed. Thank you for being such a wonderful example to everyone. Emma P.S. I have also always loved tights!

I need to clarify something about an issue for him hiding it wasn't because he was afraid I'd leave. That did not factor into his reason for hiding it is all, he just wouldn't want me to stay in the relationship if I wasn't happy.

Hello. My name is Dr. Oweena Scott PHD. and I am a Clinical Psychologist. I offer my services to any one transgendered who is in need of help on line FREE OF CHARGE. My e-mail address is Dr_Oweena_Scott@therapist.net. I am also trans gendered so I am familiar with the needs that you face.

Hi Lane, Yeah, doesn't it suck being told who and what we're "supposed" to be? It's like they are denying that you are valid, that you exist for the wonderful person that you are. I am not at all surprised at how you feel. I think there are some important points to be made here, such as: 1. Try to find others that you can openly talk to. Maybe it's someone at church or elsewhere. But if you know they are going to listen but say something like "pray that this all goes away" don't talk to them. Go find someone who really listens and gives you support. I agree, these people may be hard to find. But it's important. 2. Do try to find a church you can go to and feel comfortable at. Maybe there is one in another nearby city/town where you can meet new people. 3. Have you looked online to see if there is a local support group, near where you live? Maybe they can also suggest a church(s) for you. And anyway, you may find others you can talk to. 4. I think it can be helpful to talk to a therapist. But I don't know about your ability to pay or your insurance. Please think about this. Then, we can think about ways to find one. 5. Have you seen Warren's blog here at TG Guide? I suggest you read it, add your comments and thoughts, and maybe you guys can communicate via private messages. It seems to me that you have some of the same issues in common. I really hope this helps you and am glad that you wrote your post. It's by reaching out to this wonderful community that we may all help and support each other. Sincerely, Emma