Hello, I wanted to add in that PayPal was great for me in the USA. I deactivated my former account on the phone then had them transfer my bank information from that account to the Karen Payne account which must be done by PalPay. Total time on the phone was just about ten minutes.
Sorry to hear about your frustrations. But... "Schrodinger's Pass"? Either you or your friends must be physicists! Cracked me up. :-). Makes me wonder if Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle might also be at work here.